Hello everyone,
Welcome to my Friday life meditation.
Loving that you are here and I cannot wait to start.
Let's take a few minutes to have everyone come in before I start.
So I would love to hear who you are,
Where you are in the world and why do you think that you are a superstar?
Love to hear from you.
Because that's the theme today.
You are a superstar.
And what I mean with that,
Maybe you understand already,
You'll hear in a minute.
My name is Femke Bakker,
I am a meditation teacher and a behavioural scientist.
I also work at Leiden University,
But of course I also love to teach meditation and I love to teach gentle self-empowerment for which I use meditation as one of the tools to get you there.
So every Friday at this time,
Which is 3.
30pm Eastern Time,
9.
30pm Central European Time,
My time,
I'm residing in the Netherlands,
I'm holding this live.
And every week this is about a different theme.
I will first hold a talk,
Sometimes the talk is more brief than other times and then I guide you in a meditation so you can experience for yourself what my words actually mean because I can speak a lot and I promise you I do,
But you experiencing for yourself what my words mean to you personally,
That is so much more valuable.
As a meditation teacher and actually just as a person in all the work that I do,
I believe in self-empowerment.
I believe in showing you how you can take good care of yourself,
To be gentle to yourself,
To be kind to yourself,
To put yourself on number one.
And that might sound like that is selfish,
It is not.
Next week I will hold a live just about that topic,
Why self-love isn't selfish.
So if you're curious to hear more about that,
I invite you to join me also next week.
But I do know that when you start to take good care of yourself,
You automatically change your interactions with the world around you and you will notice that you will have also more love,
Compassion and understanding for other folks,
For the people in your environment,
Even the whole world as such.
Great!
You know,
I so love it to see the names,
There are so many people that come almost all lives on Fridays and you all feel like such close friends to me because over the months,
Years actually by now,
You've told me so much about yourself and we have shared these meditations and we have connected and as you might know,
When we meditate together,
It is like we're all together in the same room.
So it's so lovely to see your names pop up.
But I also really love to see some new names and some other folks and I really welcome you to join me today.
So the topic today is you are a superstar.
Yes,
You are.
And all of you are.
Even more,
Everyone is a superstar.
I can feel already your confusion.
How can I be a superstar or how can everybody be a superstar because isn't the superstar status just for a few of those really special people?
No,
Because everyone is special.
Everyone has their superpowers.
Everyone has their strengths.
Everyone has that one thing or maybe more than one thing that can really,
Really shine.
Yes,
The emphasis of our societies is on those that are in the public eye that everyone knows,
That are famous,
That are really gifted to move us to tears,
To let us just dream away at our music,
To really be engaged with their athletic performances.
But that's not the only things that are determining why people are superstars.
Those people are superstars because we make them superstars.
These are people who love to be in the public eye or at least who love to do what they love to do in front of an audience.
And actually,
You know,
I've been an actor myself once.
The connection,
The relationship with audience can be sometimes a little bit hard.
I've never been really,
Really big and famous,
But I have been in some TV series and I've experienced how it can be sometimes when people know you and you don't know them.
So I think that is all sometimes a bit exaggerated,
Especially if we use those folks as a way to reflect upon ourselves,
Right?
Because we create this superstar,
Whether it's in acting or in music or in sports or in politics or in business or influencers on social media,
As we have them also these days,
Or whatever it is that you admire,
We often use those folks to think that they are having something,
Doing something that we don't have,
That we cannot do.
But I think the truth is this.
If you admire someone because of something that they do,
I think they reflect something within you,
Something within you that deserves to be more open there,
To be more out there.
And I don't mean that you have to take this to an audience.
I don't have to say that if you admire Meryl Streep for acting qualities that you have to get out there and be an actor like her.
But there must be something in her presence,
In her performances,
Maybe in her personality as you perceive it,
That triggers something,
That tells you something about yourself.
So that's one part.
But the other part is that I really believe that every being on this earth,
And notice I'm not just saying human being,
I'm saying being,
Every being on this planet is unique,
Is worthy,
Is lovable,
Is special.
But we sometimes tend to forget this.
We are busy in our lives,
Which are often busy with a lot of things we have to do.
We have jobs,
We have families,
We have friends,
We have obligations,
We have responsibilities,
We have things that we love.
And sometimes we just get tired of that and we forget to take care of ourselves.
And when we forget to take care of ourselves,
We tend to forget that we are pretty awesome,
That we are superstars.
So a superstar is not that one person that shines so bright that we cannot see all others.
A superstar,
At least in my book,
Is someone who knows their value,
Who understands that they are unique and that their place on this planet is so unique and so special that no one else could fill their shoes.
And this is true.
But sometimes you forget about this.
I would just love today to remind you of that.
So this is what we're going to do in a meditation.
And yes,
We will start with a superstar that you really like.
So before we start now,
Because in the meditation,
I don't want you to overthink things.
Actually,
I don't want you to think too much.
I just want you to be there,
Be present with whatever you're feeling,
Whatever is going on,
To connect with your intuition,
Your gut,
Your fantasy,
You could also call it and use that to speak basically to your subconscious.
Because somewhere deep down there,
You know that you're a superstar.
Maybe you already know it right here.
That's really great.
But if you don't,
Or if you can use an extra boost of that,
Then I'm telling you,
Within you,
You have this innate wisdom and you know that you are a superstar.
And we're going to connect with that so that you can actually feel today that you are.
And I just hope that you can bring that feeling with you so that you can think of it from time to time.
All right.
So before we start,
I would like you to think of someone that you find superstar.
It can be someone famous.
It can also be your mom.
It can be anyone in your life,
If you actually know them personally or not,
That you really admire,
You really love them.
You know,
You could say you're a fan of them because we're going to work with what I just said,
That something in them resonates with its core within you.
We're going to discover that and then we're jumping ahead to your own innate wisdom about yourself.
So just pick someone.
Don't overthink it.
The one that pops up first,
That's the person you're going to work with.
Yes,
That one.
Right.
All right.
So now we'll get into meditation and then afterwards I will come back here and then I have a few exciting things to tell you.
Let's meditate.
So make sure that you are sitting comfortable or that you're lying down comfortable,
Whatever suits you.
Just take a moment to actually feel how you are in your body right now.
And you can do so by bringing your attention to the touch points where your body touches the ground,
Like your feet on the ground.
And your buttocks on the seat.
And if you want to lean against the back of the chair,
That's perfectly fine.
You don't have to sit up straight with me.
You can lean,
You can lie down,
You might fall asleep,
But that's also okay.
Then you just need some sleep.
But all the points of your body that are now touching the ground,
The cushion,
The seat below you,
The mattress if you're lying down,
Bring your attention there.
And just pay some attention to your shoulders,
Are those relaxed?
And if not,
You can pull them up for a moment and then just drop them.
Maybe do it again,
Pull them up and drop them.
There's such a beautiful sense of release when you pull your shoulders up and you drop them.
If you're someone who is really quickly stressed,
Try that sometimes,
You know,
Just during the day.
Pull up your shoulders and drop them.
Do it again.
Can you feel that?
It's a small difference,
But it's there.
All right,
Now gently close your eyes.
And just settle and relax.
Take a notice of your body.
Are there any places in your body where you feel tension?
If you do,
Then shift.
Shift until you can relax a little bit more.
You can notice for a moment your breath.
You don't have to change your breath.
You can just follow it as it flows in through your nostrils and then flows out from your nostrils.
And in and out.
And you might have this sense of relaxing now.
It's relative to how you started.
It might be just a little bit more relaxed than you were,
But when you notice it,
Then that's really great.
And if you don't notice it,
Then just keep observing your breath that is flowing into your nose.
And out of your nose.
In and out.
I would like now that you bring your attention to the center of your head.
So just pull your attention back behind your eyes.
Let's say behind that third eye that is supposed to be between your eyes and your forehead.
And then just pull it back until it's resting in the middle of your head.
And when I'm telling you this,
Then really use your imagination,
Your fantasy as you know how to use it.
So some people might picture actually how they are in the middle of their head,
But just feeling it or knowing it or sensing it or just telling yourself that you're now in the center of your head.
That's also really great.
You know how you fantasize,
How you use your fantasy.
So do exactly that.
Now from that place in the middle of your head,
We're slowly,
Slowly letting to,
We're slowly,
Slowly going to drop our attention downwards.
So you could imagine for instance that your attention takes staircase down or an elevator,
Or you could imagine a tube going down and then you could imagine like a feather really slowly,
Slowly descending through the tube.
Or maybe you like to make it in an abstract way.
And you could just let your attention drop slowly,
Slowly.
And I want you to let it descend until it arrives in the middle of your heart space,
Which is the middle of your chest,
Close to your heart.
And sometimes it helps to put your hands there on your chest.
So you're actually guiding your attention downwards to your chest.
And take your time.
If it's hard for you to bring your attention there,
Then imagine that in the middle of your chest,
There is a light and you're just moving your attention slowly to that light as if you're standing in the dark and you're seeing the light of a lighthouse and your eyes,
Your attention is simply attracted to that light,
That light in your heart.
And when your attention has arrived in your heart space,
In the middle of your heart,
I would like you to rest your attention there for a moment and be with whatever is present there.
It might be that it's really calm.
It might be that you are experiencing a feeling or an emotion,
Whatever it is,
Just it's okay,
Let it be there.
Be with it like you would be with a good friend who is experiencing an emotion,
Whether it's a pleasant or an unpleasant emotion.
And don't worry if the emotion is unpleasant because we are going to connect to your feeling as superstar and this will help you.
This will make you feel better.
All right,
Now let's use your imagination,
Your fantasy again in the way that you like it.
You are here in the middle of your heart and when you are taking a look around or a feel around,
Then you notice that there is a big white door in front of you.
So let's move up to that door and just open it.
And when you open this door,
You notice that there is a big field,
A field of grass,
But it's a little bit dark.
It's evening,
It's just after twilight.
And when you are walking onto this field,
You realise that you are in a drive-in cinema,
But you are not in a car,
You are just walking here.
You are walking on the grass and you are seeing this really big,
Big movie screen in front of you,
Lighting up.
And while you walk up there,
You see suddenly that there is a chair standing for you in the middle of the grass.
And why do you know it's your chair?
Your name is on it.
Take a look.
Can you see it?
Your name?
You know,
You have these chairs on a movie set where the name of the director and the name of the stars are written on the chairs?
Well,
Here is a chair for you.
Your name is on it.
So walk up to it and take a seat.
Can you feel that this is a real comfortable chair?
This one is made for you.
So bring your attention to the movie screen,
Because what they are about to show you is a trailer.
And this trailer is about that superstar that you admire.
So if it is a movie star,
It might be their movie,
But it's also really likely that you are going to see a documentary about this person in your life that you admire.
And don't worry if they are not famous,
If they would never have own documentary in the cinema.
This is your fantasy and your fantasy.
Everything is possible.
So take a look at the screen and see their name first.
And can you feel how that is giving you an excited feeling?
Because this is someone that you admire,
This is someone that you love,
This is someone that you really want to see on this screen.
So now you actually see them showing up on the screen.
They are just standing there.
Standing in the middle,
Looking in the camera,
Looking at you,
Smiling.
Really smiling big.
And they are saying hi.
And they are saying your name.
They are actually here just for you.
Now while they are there on the screen,
Think of that element,
That characteristic of them that you admire so much.
That part that resonates with you mostly.
And don't overthink that.
It can be that you just see them doing something,
Saying something,
Being something or just radiating something.
Or maybe you just know it by looking at them.
So while you are sitting comfortable in your chair,
Seeing this superstar of yours being there,
Exemplifying that beautiful part of them that you so admire.
And while you see this,
I would like you to take a look in the back of the screen you see someone approaching.
Someone is coming up with a big smile on their face.
And when they come closer you actually see that this is you.
And that this superstar of yours is putting out their hand to welcome you and pull you next to them.
You are now together there with your superstar.
And it is as if that characteristic of this superstar now starts to radiate also from you.
So if it is their beautiful smile or their lovable behaviour,
Or the way they actually listen to people,
The way they care for others,
Whatever it is,
See yourself with them doing this,
Radiating this.
It is as if this superstar is shining their light on you and your own light starts to radiate,
Starts to grow,
Starts to become bigger and bigger until you are together in this beautiful characteristic.
Now bring your attention back to your heart for a moment while you are watching this.
Can you notice how this feels to see yourself there together with your superstar,
Joining in this beautiful characteristic that you love so much about them?
And can you see that you actually have this deep within also?
That the seeds of this quality are also within you?
You just didn't always notice it?
Or you once knew it and buried it?
So if this makes you emotional that's okay,
That's really okay.
Speak kind to yourself,
Give yourself a hug.
We are working here to heal something in your heart and you are doing it really really good.
Now I want you to see that your superstar is giving you on the screen a really big hug and they are telling you that they are proud of you,
That they love you,
That you are so special and that they always knew that you too were resonating,
That you had just the same part within your soul,
Within your heart as they show the world.
And they tell you that you don't always have to show the world,
Just to know that this is within you,
Can be also really really valuable.
Alright,
Now you say goodbye to the superstar who goes on their way and just take a look at you now.
Take a look at yourself.
I really would like you to lean back a little bit in your chair,
In this beautiful chair with your name on it and to have the same look at yourself as you just had on this superstar.
And I know this might be a stretch but let's start with something about yourself that you really really love.
There is always something,
It might be the colour of your eyes,
It might be your smile,
It might be your kindness,
It might be your intuition,
It might be the fact that you can really colour a beautiful something or that you can cook really tasty food.
It can be that you are loved by your grandchildren,
Whatever it is.
Be aware that this quality is there within you when you look at yourself on that screen.
I really would love for you to be aware of that element,
That characteristic of yourself that you love so much.
If you can use your fantasy,
Your imagination,
Can you actually see yourself having,
Doing,
Radiating this characteristic?
So,
If it is that your great mother or grandmother or your great father or uncle,
Whatever it is,
Then see how those kids respond to you.
If it is that you are always kind to people,
Then see how you are smiling and how other people are smiling back at you.
If it is your beautiful eyes,
Then zoom in on your own eyes and see how uniquely they are.
And it doesn't have to be something big,
It can be,
But it can be also really small,
It can be the fact that you like the way you make your coffee,
That is also great,
Whatever it is.
Zoom in on that element and really be aware of how proud you can be of this part of you.
Now,
When you look at this,
Where do you feel that feeling of satisfaction,
Pride about yourself in your body?
Is there a spot where you can feel it?
If it is,
Bring your hands to that spot,
It might be your heart,
It might be your stomach,
Your belly,
It might be your forehead,
It might be your thumb,
Doesn't matter,
Everyone can have it in a different place.
Just bring your hands there.
And now try to focus,
To bring your attention to that feeling and see if you can let that feeling grow bigger.
So if it is hard for you to know how to grow it,
Then again,
Imagine it to be a light,
A candle light or maybe like a small star or some and just slowly,
Slowly see it expand.
See how the power of this one quality can grow out in a bigger light that not only fills that place in your body where you feel it,
But it also starts to feel and to fill the rest of your body.
It starts to fill your whole chest,
Your arms,
Your belly,
Moving towards your back,
Don't forget your back,
Don't forget your buttocks,
Into your buttocks,
Into your pelvis,
Into your thighs,
Your arms,
Your hands,
Your knees,
Your under legs,
Feet,
It's growing outside of you until you are in this big bubble of light and it feels so uplifting,
It feels so pleasant and light and loving.
And while you are this bubble of light,
Actually you are a bubble of light now because it's surrounding you,
But it's all part of you.
This one small quality has grown out and it's filling everything and it's shining its light on every element of you.
So I would like you now to think if you can of something that you do not like so much about yourself,
Something that you might be a little bit ashamed of yourself.
So look at the screen while you stay in this big bubble of light and you might see it there.
So maybe that is,
You know,
That tooth is not straight or your tendency to get angry or you know,
You have a toe that is crooked or it's that you're really impatient,
Whatever it is,
It doesn't matter,
Just see it there on the screen.
But you know what,
It's really far away,
It's on that screen and you are here shining all your light and this light is so powerful,
This light is so powerful that it can simply shine its light on everything that you don't like so much about yourself and you suddenly notice that it's actually okay.
It's actually not so bad to see this quality of yours that you don't like so much,
That you might be a little bit ashamed of because this light shines so bright.
It's like when the sun starts to shine its light and all shadows disappear because the sun is high and strong and warm and loving.
And yes,
You have flaws,
Yes you have qualities that are not really seen as qualities but you are also human and the power of humankind lies in not being perfect.
The power of humankind lies in you being who you are,
Shining your light from your powerful places and being kind to yourself about those things that you like not so much about yourself because they are there and they will be there and that's okay,
That's really okay.
Just shine your light on them.
And it's like being in the dark as a kid,
Having a fear that there is a monster under your bed and then you open the light and you shine under the bed and suddenly everything disappears.
The feeling of the monster might still be there but the light shines up on it and suddenly you feel a little bit silly because you thought there was that monster.
That's exactly the same with your thoughts about elements of you that you don't like because everything about you is to like because you are not perfect because you are a human being and that's the fun of it.
Think of how boring it might be if everyone is perfect,
If everyone is the same.
Think how boring it would be if we would all like the same things,
If we would all want the same things.
The beauty of existence is to understand what you don't want because it can only highlight what you do want.
The same goes for you and what lives in your heart.
By experiencing parts of yourself that you don't like so much,
That's okay.
Be at ease with it and just let it show to you what you do want and what is important for you and shine your light upon that and when that light grows it becomes so strong that the rest is there but it's not so important anymore.
It's okay.
It's you.
You are where you are and you are okay.
You are who you are and you are okay.
You are lovable.
You are worthy.
You are unique.
You are a superstar.
Look at you.
Do you see your own light?
Do you see how you shine?
And yes,
This is your fantasy but you can shine in your fantasy and I promise you when you shine in your fantasy you will start to shine more and more outside.
Your superstar power does not have to be validated by others.
Your superstar power lies within you and the only one who needs to validate it is you,
My dear friend.
Now sit with this feeling for a moment and just enjoy how you are radiating and if you now get the feeling yes I'm radiating but not as much as I would like to,
I'm not shining like the superstar I would want to be,
That's okay.
That's really okay.
You shine as you can right now and just keep shining and the power of your light will grow.
Just know that you can shine whenever you want and always.
Let's take a minute or so to just be with this powerful superstar light that is within you because it is within you always.
Also when you don't remember it.
I will shut up for a moment so you can just be and feel.
Ahh yeah,
That feels good right?
That's powerful and you know what?
You did this.
I might have guided you a little bit towards it but you did this.
You connected to this feeling within you.
You are so powerful.
Everything that you want to feel lies within you.
You are so powerful.
Alright,
Now you can slowly let your attention go back to your heart.
You can pull back from the chair,
The screen if you like to say goodbye to the screen or the place around it.
That's okay.
I would like you to come back to the white door but just before you go back through the white door I want you to take a look back to this screen and now realize that this place that used to be dark when you entered it is now lit up.
Lit up with your light so when you look around then you suddenly notice that there are so many people here.
All your friends,
Your family,
Everyone who was ever important in your life,
Everyone who was ever kind to you,
Everyone who was lovable to you,
Everyone who you love is here whether they are deceased or not.
Everyone is here and they are all looking at you and they are all smiling and they all start to cheer you on,
To applaud,
To be there for you and I would love you to just stand there and receive the love,
Receive their admiration,
Receive the knowledge that you are a superstar because when you look at them you see that they know it and although they might not always show you in real life,
They know it and the most important part is that you now know it too.
And when you have had enough of the applause,
The cheering on,
Then thank them or just move away.
You can give them a bow,
You can wave your hand,
You can send them a kiss or you can just smile and turn around and walk back through the wide door,
Back into your heart space.
Remember this feeling,
Where it resides in your body so that on those days when your superstar feeling feels pretty far away,
You just remember this,
Remember this feeling or revisit this practice which might be also helpful.
Alright,
Now you can bring your attention slowly back to the centre of your head,
Just pull it up,
You can see it as a light,
As that feather going up or get back in that elevator or that stairs,
Bring it back to the centre of your head and from there back into your body,
The awareness of how you are sitting,
Your feet on the ground,
Your hands on your heart or in your lap.
You can wiggle your fingers and toes,
Stretch your spine,
Dance a little bit on your buttocks and then take your time to slowly open your eyes,
But you can take a minute or so,
Really take your time.
I will be here waiting for you.
