When You're Performing "Okayness" | Selfgentle 10

This episode is part of the Two Minutes of Selfgentleness with Femke series.

Sometimes we answer "fine" before we've even checked how we actually feel. This episode is for the moments when you're holding yourself together on the outside while something quieter is going on underneath. A gentle pause to stop performing okayness, even just for yourself.

If you would like more structure and support, explore my course Start Being Selfgentle today here on Insight Timer.

And you're warmly invited to Femke's Selfgentleness Hour every second Friday of the month.

Transcript

Welcome to 2 minutes of self-gentleness with Femke. Someone asks, How are you? And before you even checked inside, You've already answered, Fine, Good, A bit busy, But fine. It's not a lie exactly. It's just faster than the truth. Because the truth requires a moment you are not sure you have right now. I know this very well. I've done it so many times, I stopped even noticing when I was doing it. The performance of OK-ness is not dishonesty, It's protection, A way of keeping yourself moving when stopping feels like too much. But somewhere, Underneath it, You know. You always know. Self-gentleness doesn't ask you to fall apart in front of everyone. It just asks you to stop performing for yourself. Just for this moment. Just in here. Now let's affirm this. You can repeat these sentences after me, Out loud or mentally, Or you can just listen. I am allowed to know how I actually feel. I don't have to perform OK-ness for myself. I can be honest about what I feel. I am safe enough to check in. I give myself the moment that I have been skipping. I am the most important person to consistently deserve my own gentleness. Now sit with this for a moment, And come back whenever you need this.