When You Can't Tell If You're Okay | Selfgentle 25

This episode is part of the Two Minutes of Self-gentleness with Femke series. Not every difficult state announces itself. Some just sit there, unnamed. Not a crisis, but not fine either. This episode sits with that ambiguity, the state that doesn't quite have a name, and invites you to meet yourself there without forcing clarity. If you would like to explore self-gentleness more deeply, you can find Femke's Self-gentleness courses on Insight Timer. You are also warmly invited to join Femke's Self-gentleness Hour, a free live session on Insight Timer every second Friday of the month.

Transcript

Welcome to two minutes of self-gentleness with Femke. You don't know if you are okay. It's not that there is a crisis. But you're not feeling fine either. You can't quite name it. You can't quite shake it. So you dismiss it. You're probably just tired, Overreacting. Fine, Actually, Stop making it a thing. Do you recognize that? But you're here. Which means something in you knows. That something within you is asking for attention. It doesn't mean that you have to diagnose it. You don't have to decide whether it qualifies as real enough to matter. It's okay. Stay here for a moment. Notice what's is actually present. Without having to understand or to decide what it means. Being with the feeling and the not knowing. Is its own form of self-gentleness. So let's affirm this together. You can say the words with me, Or. . . Just listen to my voice. I don't need to understand what I'm feeling. For it to deserve my attention. I can be with uncertainty about my own state without forcing clarity. I know that something in me is asking for care, And that is reason enough to care for myself. I'm not overreacting. I'm noticing. I can stay with myself even when I don't know exactly what I need. I am the most important person to consistently deserve my own gentleness. Whenever you feel something and you're unsure if you have to pay attention to it, That's the most important reason to just stop and to pay attention. And if you find that hard, Then just come back here and we'll do it together.

Reviews

Thank you 🙏 Femke 💛 for this gentle reminder to pay attention to your body and feel what it needs.

I will use this meditation often and I thank you ❣️

I needed to listen and repeat what we'll say. so thank you very much for your help

How inviting…and reassuring. So many of us have been conditioned to race to an answer that makes sense; to make the nagging feeling of uncertainty just go away, immediately.

This is a great practice, a wise and gentle reminder that we •can• just sit with the “unknowingness.”
Nothing’s gonna happen to us, even though the stress and strain that we put on ourselves, while in limbo, seems to urge us to action. I bet that’s it is just arising to protect us, after all.
It’s a signal…but not a command or order.

If I understand this lesson, then: we need not suffer emotionally, in a self-imposed manner, •on top of• or
in addition to the theoretical pain that *might* (or might not(!)) be caused by the actual issue or incident or outcome. The goal: avoiding •self-wounding in advance• with all of our fretting and “pre-worrying” over something. Am I on the right track, do you think?

It sounds like… The better we are at allowing the discomfort of confusion, or uneasy anticipation, then the better we shall be, in time, and with practice, at allowing, and sitting with, even stronger, perhaps more unpleasant experiences. And managing through difficult times is something we probably all want to get better at.
Love it! 🙏🏼
Thank you, Femke, for all of these helpful and refreshing little nuggets of wisdom and tips on living “the good life.”