When Old Grief Comes Back | Selfgentle 23

This episode is part of the Two Minutes of Selfgentleness with Femke series. Grief doesn't always leave when we think we've finished with it. When it returns, months or years later, it is easy to read that return as evidence of failure, that you haven't healed, that you're still stuck. This episode sits with the return of old grief and offers a gentler way of being with it. If you would like to explore selfgentleness more deeply, you can find Femke's Selfgentleness courses on Insight Timer. You are also warmly invited to join Femke's Selfgentleness Hour, a free live session on Insight Timer every second Friday of the month.

Transcript

Welcome to 2 minutes of self-gentleness with Femke. Grief doesn't always disappear when you think or decide that you are done with it. Sometimes it comes back, Months or even years later. And it can feel as vivid as it was when it started. And when it does. . . The easy mistake is to read that return. As a failure. And that you think that you haven't healed. Or that you've been doing it wrong and that you're still stuck. When grief comes back to you, It doesn't mean that grief has not moved or changed. It comes back because it was real. Because your loss was real. Because you loved something or someone so much. And you don't have to explain this to anyone, Not even yourself. You don't have to figure out why now. Let it be here. Old grief coming back. It doesn't say anything about your progress. It's love in its other form. And you can be gentle with this too. Let's affirm this together. You can say the words with me or just listen to my voice. When I feel grief. It doesn't mean that I have failed at healing. I can be with this feeling without needing to fix it or explain it. My grief is a sign of how much someone mattered to me. And that's not a problem, That's love. I do not have to be further along than I am. I can hold this old tenderness with care. I'm the most important person to consistently deserve my own gentleness. If you felt a relief right now, Then. . . Come back to this track. Whenever you need it. I'll be here waiting for you.

Reviews

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Thank you for being here for me, especially today on my late younger brother’s birthday… This anniversary of his birth, is difficult in new ways… (He took his life 30 years ago at age 42)
Much love & gratitude to you, Femke 🌺☮️🩵