Today,
Let's talk about the seven areas of your life where it's important to set boundaries.
What are the seven different boundaries you can set and why they're important?
I teach people to be self-compassion.
The most important journey of my life was toward myself,
Toward connecting with myself,
Toward being authentic with myself and toward my own self-compassion.
I love helping you do that as well.
So what we'll talk about today are the ways we betray ourselves,
How sometimes we can be fake or dishonest with ourselves to be liked.
And this fake version of ourselves,
It hurts us physically.
It's bad for our body.
It's very stressful for our body.
That can lead to chronic illness.
And doing that in relationships just leads to bad relationships.
The first boundary is fairly obvious,
Financial material,
How you use the money you have.
So we do set certain boundaries with how we use money because we want to prioritize how we use it.
We want to put it in one place as opposed to a different place.
So that's a boundary.
And this makes sense.
There's also emotional boundaries.
For example,
Right now I am tired.
I'm not going to engage in this problem emotionally.
I'm going to go to sleep.
That's a boundary.
I will not listen if you speak to me aggressively.
You can speak however you want.
It's your choice,
But I will not be in the room.
I'm going to leave the room and I'm going to remove myself.
That's a way to set a boundary,
How you are treated emotionally.
Another boundary that is quite obvious is physical.
No one is allowed to hit me,
For example.
Physical boundaries or today my body feels tired.
I'm going to set a boundary.
I'm not going to go jogging and then weightlifting and then swimming.
Today I'm going to take it easy.
Boundary.
I notice how my body is doing,
How you treat yourself.
Physical boundaries are also,
I'm not going to eat a cheeseburger every day.
Physical boundaries is I'm going to make sure that I take vitamins.
And I could be doing other things in those two minutes it takes me to take vitamins,
But I'm going to take vitamins.
So physical boundaries,
What you eat,
How physically other people treat you,
Sexual boundaries,
That's all part of the physical.
One that is not obvious in our world is that we need to set digital boundaries.
We need boundaries with how much time we spend online.
We need boundaries with our social media presence.
We need boundaries with how much we are on our iPhone.
We need boundaries with how soon you check your email from the time you wake up.
Is it within two seconds?
Is it within 10 minutes?
Is it within an hour?
How often are you 100% available for anyone in the universe to text you,
Message you,
WhatsApp you,
Send you advertisements?
Those are digital boundaries.
And we need time where we are in the present,
When we're with nature,
When we're fully aware for our kids,
For our romantic partners,
For our friends.
We do need a dinner every now and then where we're not on our phones,
We're in the present.
Digital boundaries,
I think,
Are becoming increasingly important.
Also boundaries in terms of time.
You need to prioritize your time well.
If something is important to you,
You prioritize it by making sure you do it.
A time boundary is,
For example,
I will meditate every day.
Even if I'm at a conference and I'm presenting three times,
I will still find some corner of that conference room and I will do my own meditation practice.
I wish you the same boundary if meditation is important to you.
So the things that really matter,
They get on your calendar.
Energy.
Prioritizing how we use our energy is the seventh kind of boundary.
Isn't always obvious but there are boundaries in terms of values.
This is what I value.
This is my system of beliefs and you don't let other people explain to you that your system of beliefs is irrelevant.
You don't let other people be forceful with your system of beliefs.
You have certain values and those are important.
The organizations,
The people in your life might have other values.
How can you live in accordance with your deepest values and still interact with the rest of the world and let the rest of the world have their values?
Your boundaries will give you freedom.
