The Trap Of Calculated Heroism

In this talk, we explore the difference between true compassionate action and the "savior mode" that stems from ego. Often, our desire to fix or save others is a way to seek recognition, which ultimately leads to burnout and anxiety. By tempering the need to be a "fixer" and instead focusing on your own presence, you contribute something far more valuable to the world: a steady, peaceful field of goodwill.

Transcript

If you really, Really, Really, Really want to be a hero, Pause. Don't be reactive. Don't act right away if you really want to be a hero. If it's in the moment, Someone's about to get hit by a car, You act heroically. That's different. That's not calculated heroism. But there's a kind of calculated heroism that comes from ego that burns us out. If you want to be a hero to get recognition, If you want to be a hero to be recognized, To be acknowledged as a hero, That's savior mode. And that really drains energy. So heroes pretend like they have more energy and more answers than other people. They want to be kind of higher than other people. And everything we do from ego is destructive. So don't act on ego. If you want to be a hero, Think about being healthy. Ask yourself, Am I physically healthy? Am I in the relationship I want? Am I doing the work that's most rewarding? Is my own life in line? If it is, Then do more for others. But if it's not, And for heroes, People who want to be heroes, It's usually not. Focus on having the kind of presence and the kind of joy and the kind of groundedness that makes every space around you better. Your happiness is everyone's happiness. When you want to be a hero, You can do kind of forceful things that people don't actually need. You can imagine I know what the right answer is for this person without knowing it. You can build a village somewhere and that village won't actually help the people there necessarily. So from a deep seated, Deeply intentional place, Where the most important things are in line for you, Absolutely do good. But I think in our time, Practice, Meditate, Wait, Leave space, And don't feel like as a person you need to save the whole world. Because if you believe that as a person you need to save the whole world, You'll have so much anxiety. At a certain point, So many ups and downs and so much depression, You will add that anxiety and depression into the lives of the people around you. And you don't want to do that. You want to add joy, Lightness, Goodwill, A good mood to who's immediately around you. So here is my more conservative recommendation to temper both any desire to do harm, Don't do harm, Don't make anyone suffer. But also sometimes temper the desire to be a hero, To be a fixer, To be a savior, To be a people pleaser, Because that depletes your energy and often even depletes and takes away from the people you serve. If you come from a really rounded place, You can actually contribute very well to the lives of the people you serve. But you can't do everything. So I'm Elizabeth Pyjove and I'm excited to give you these self-compassionate points of view that I hope make your life truly better.