Being With And Working With Emotions

This practice is adapted from my book, "Embodiment and the treatment of eating disorders: The body as a resource in recovery" (Cook-Cottone, WW Norton, 2020). Use this meditation to practice being with and working with difficult emotions. There is nothing to fix and everything to be with. You will love this one.

Transcript

Hi, This is Catherine Cocotone, Author of Embodiment and the Treatment of Eating Disorders, The Body as a Resource in Recovery. I'll be adapting the script on page 195, Script 912, The adapted, Softened, Soothe, Allow meditation. First, Find yourself in a comfortable position. You might want to use a chair. Sometimes I encourage people to lie down, Maybe find a nice comfy couch where you can lie down and really feel fully supported so that your spine can extend and you feel that you are being held up. The next thing I'd like you to do is to bring to mind a difficult emotion or situation that elicited a difficult emotion and take some time here. You can press pause and take a moment to really choose the emotion or the moment that you would like to work with. Now, Take a moment to consider the situation and identify the most salient or present emotion that is aligned with that experience. If you're simply working with an emotion, Just bring that emotion to mind. Next, Locate the primary emotion or the most salient emotion that is present right now in your body. It might be helpful to scan your body starting with your feet, Your legs, Maybe your hands, Your arms, Your torso, Your neck, And your head and see where you notice sensations that might be associated with this emotion. Where is this emotion residing in your body? Then identify the area in your body where you might feel this emotion in the strongest way. If you feel it in a few places, Dial in to where you're feeling it the most. This is where we start the being with process. We're going to really be with this area. In this area of your body where you're noticing the emotion most, See if you can bring in a sensation of softening around the edge of this area. We are simply being with the emotion and not asking it to go away. This softening is a form of physical compassion for the embodied emotion. Take time to pause here and be with the sensation of the emotion. As you're softening around the edge of it, Not trying to contain it, Just noticing the edge and being with the edge and the emotion in a really soft and compassionate way. You might even notice the qualities that are here. Does this emotion feel hard or soft? Do you feel it deeply or is it light and tingly? Does it have a sensation of clenching or expanding? Is there a tightening? Is it painful or filled with an anxious fluttery sensation? Is it big, Small, Warm or cool? Does it radiate? Does it contract? Is it still or as you notice it, Is it moving? Is it size stable or as you are present to it and noticing, Does it get bigger or smaller or both? As you're with the sensation, As you're with this emotion and you're with the very edge of it, You might even repeat the word soften. Soften. So you can soften your noticing. Soften your presence with this emotion. Allowing it simply to be in the softest and gentlest of containers. Next, See if you can just allow the feeling, The emotion, The sensations to be there. You might imagine breathing around the edge of the emotion as a way of softly holding a physical space for this embodied emotion. There's nothing to fix or change and everything to be with and notice. Pause here and allow this being with experience to simply happen. You might like to place your hand on the spot where you're noticing the emotion as an extra way of being with what's here. It might be nice to massage this place while breathing to enhance or shift the being with experience. And as you're here, You might repeat the word allow. Allow. Allow as you breathe. Your next step is to allow for soothing, Allow for loving kindness. It's okay to acknowledge how hard it is to feel difficult emotions and to stay with them. How challenging it might be to soften and allow feelings to simply be. It might be helpful to know that it's difficult for all humans to feel difficult emotions and that we all struggle in this way. Offer loving kindness to yourself in the form of a gratitude for engaging in the practice of being with, Of doing this work that can help you grow, Help you heal. It might be helpful for you to consider that you are worth the effort, That we do these hard things because at your core, You are worth every drop of effort. Here you might even say, I am worth the effort. I am worth the effort. And repeat the word soothe, Soothe and soothe. The final step here is to slowly come out of this meditation. If you're feeling like you want to stay for a while longer, Simply press pause and be with your emotion and work with your emotion in this soothing and holding and present way. If you're ready to come out, Take a deep breath in and a big letting go and a big breath in and a big letting go. Bring your awareness simply to your steady and regular breath. If your eyes were closed, Slowly open your eyes and if you had a soft gaze, Widen your gaze and maybe anchor onto something in the room to bring you back here. And as you regain your presence in your room around you, Take another big breath in and another big breath out. Thank you so much for practicing.

Reviews

Very helpful- I imagine it’s uniquely helpful each time you come to it. Thank you.