Healing Trauma Through Addiction (3 Of 3)

Day number 3 is about so many things that have to do with making decisions. Decisions that we can make every day, decisions that can change our lives step by step. The 3 Day Method came to existence during these three days and The Golden Circle has been created for those of you whom would like to commit to challenging yourselves. Thank you som much for practicing with me and everybody in the Golden Circle. Love, Carlos

Transcript

So welcome to this day number three of three days with healing trauma through addiction. If you haven't listened to the first two days, Please go ahead and do that. I do a lot of repetition because, Well, After all, Repetition is the mother of skill, Right? So the main thing in all of the work that I do is working with being willing to feel everything. That's the main thing. Secondly, It is to add action to whatever it is that we want to change. If we only read books, If we only go to courses, If we only have insights, But do not put action to it or plug it into the electricity, We will just experience the same and the same all over again. So we need to open up and be brave and be vulnerable and be willing to practice feeling everything. It's so important with trauma for me personally, Also through these days that it's all about connection, Connection, Connection. And the more I do these things, The more I become aware of all my blindsides, Myself, All the things, All the stories that I'm telling myself to avoid being vulnerable, To avoid taking action. And it's been some crazy days also the past month with all this work that I've been doing, Inner work, Outer work, Experiencing my body starting to have physical symptoms that I've never had before. And it's scary and I'm doing what I need to do in order to make sure that it's nothing physical, But it's something emotional. I'm quite sure that's all the tests so far have been just fine. Heart is fine. Blood is fine. Everything is fine. Thank God. So what I do believe happens with us humans is that when we start taking away the addiction, Breaking the enchantment, Changing our behavior to a more loving one, A more compassionate one, Then we do start experiencing changes inside our body. Of course, It's a whole organism, So we can't change one thing and not expect others to change as well. And we might be hoping for it to be a pleasant one straight away. So I'm still in a strong belief that what I'm experiencing and what you might experience is something which is meant to be experienced and to be held and loved and looked upon with compassion. So there's a minute till we start the final day and I will just close my eyes. Just my ritual, Close my eyes, Remind myself why I'm doing this. So I'm doing this in order to learn and teach and learn and teach. I'm doing this to make a significant change in other people's lives and my own as much as possible and inspire you to do the same and keep on inspiring me to do the same. So the changes we will make will be big changes, Not necessarily in our lifetime, But in generations to come. In generations to come. So it's eight, Seven, Six, Five, Four, Three, Two, One, And we are live. Hello, Hello, Hello everybody. Let me just see who's out there. Andy, I can see your face. Sarah, Kate. Hello, Elena. Elena, That was a good yoga session yesterday, Right? Elena was at the same session that I was, Or we were at the same session, Yoga session. I'm really trying to get started with something physical. I really need that stretching in my body, So I need to work with that. Hi Andy, Sandra, Good morning. So day three. Hello Vienna. This is day three and good morning Diane. Or I'm saying good morning. It's my good morning. It's 7. 15 right now in Copenhagen. Let me just show you where we are today, Because have you probably noticed this is a changed background. So this is my praxis here in, Oh, Let me just turn it around, In Copenhagen. So this is from where I work in Copenhagen. And we have like 145 square meters, Lots of different, Mainly psychotherapy, But also different kinds of body work. So this is from where I work in Copenhagen. And when I usually do these sessions, It's down south. Let me just know if sound is okay. There's a new setup. Good morning Albera, Beautiful name. Sound okay? Great. So this might be your first day, And let me just, I'm very fond of repetition, Which the ones of you that know me know already, But I am recording this and I have already uploaded the two other days. So this third day will of course also be uploaded. So if you're new today, You can go back and visit those. I've also have five days on what other people think of you. And I do have next week, Also three days with the same topic. And I do these repetitions because I'm learning, I'm learning real time. And you know that because I'm sharing openly with what I'm going through. These things that we've been working with the past two days, I've been working with it yesterday. I worked with it. I'm going to share this with you. So wow. Thanks a lot Vienna. Thank you so much. So I'm so I'm, I'm, I'm just such a believer of us listening and being, Oh wow, That sounds amazing. I can so much relate to that and then go out and do something, Anything that relates to that. So what I'm, I'm challenging myself on all the time and what I'm challenging you on and encouraging you to do is with every session, Like with the, With the yoga one yesterday, I was imagining how to do this. You know, I was putting action into it. I was looking at which days next day could I join her? What was her name? Elena, I think was Sarah grand or glance, Something like that. Um, So, So my point is let's use insight timer to be inspired, To, You know, Feel this connection that we have, But then, Then let's, Let's put it into effect. Let's do something out there. Let's reach out. Let's, Let's connect out there as well. And out there is with our friends, Our family, People on the street. We need to, Of course, Keep our distance in these days. Um, But I'm quite sure that, You know what I mean, Um, I'll find out afterwards, Elena, Don't worry. But listen, Um, Let's start out with a, With a short intention, Uh, Meditation. And um, For those of you that are new to intention meditation or meditation in general, My approach is that there is no right way. We need to find our own, But we can be inspired by different teachers. So the intention meditation is just to, I will be guiding it, But it's to, You know, Seek into what is my intention for this time spent in this circle this morning or this evening, Wherever you are. So to find a word or sentence or an image that we can use in the remaining day or the room coming days, The following days. So let's just get comfortable. Taking a couple of deep breaths, Really filling up those lungs all the way down to the bottom, All the way up under the crow bones and really empty all of the air from your lungs and empty them completely. And also keep on pushing out the air and then breathe in again. And just notice the connection with whatever is carrying you, Whatever's holding your body. It could be a chair or a pillow. In my case, The wall behind me. Just let those shoulders relax. You're not going anywhere the next 30 minutes or 45, However long time we use spent together. See also if you can have your palms facing upwards, Open palms upwards and have an open chest so you have this experience of being open, Being willing. And if it feels natural for you, Just make a small smile. Having that smile affect your eyes and also relaxing those eyes, Really noticing that you relax the facial muscles, The muscles inside the eye. You're in good company here. You're safe. Everything is good. Everything is okay. A couple of deep breaths again, Making a sigh on your out breath. Small smile. And now just move your attention to whatever intention you might have for this session today. Go in and look for that thing that you are longing for, What you would love to bring with you today from this session, What you would love to continue working on. And just experiencing it as a sentence, As an image, As an emotion. Remember to relax those eyes. When we start concentrating, We tend to contract in our facial muscles because we're using the brain. So just relax. Just connect with that intention, Whatever it might be. A couple of deep breaths, Filling up those lungs completely. And getting ready to move attention outwards. But when you do open your eyes, Continue having a meditative attention. So whatever I will be sharing, Whatever you might be thinking, Just have this attention. Have this main awareness being there present. So if you need to stretch, Roll those shoulders or anything like that, Just go ahead and do that. I'm just going to, I'm not that used to sitting cross-legged, So I'm just going to move my feet here, Getting a bit more comfortable. So this is day three, Right? But it's day X of the rest of our lives. And today we can make, You know, We can make big decisions today. We can make decisions that will change the remainder of our lives for how long that might be. We don't know that. So we can make decisions today that will really change our life. And we can do that every day. So just that small approach into a growth mindset is really important. So when you wake up in the morning, You can make a life-changing decision. We tend not to because the alarm tells us that we need to get up and get going. And there's, You know, If you have kids, There's stuff to do and work and all of that stuff, Right? So a practice every morning with this stuff, Especially in regards to addiction and trauma is to make that decision because by empowering ourselves in the morning, That will ripple into the rest of the day. And especially with addiction and trauma, We'll often feel as if we are not in control. We'll often feel as if it's something doing something to us that we're not the masters of we're not, You know, We can't, You know, We can't control it. Also just mentioning that, That when we deal with stuff like this, Which might have, Um, A certain depth to it and a certain intensity to it, The traumas or the addiction, It's very important that we take small steps, Small steps. That's the way to go. Slowest fast for us humans. And I love, You know, Looking at it as taking a small bite of that big elephant. I don't know how big the elephant is, How far, How long it is, You know, Working with this kind of work that we're doing right now will take, But I will get back to you because it's also something that has to do with committing. So by the end of this session today, I will be asking you to commit to X amount of sets and each set is three days based on these three days. So you can start pondering about what that might be. I'm going to challenge you on. So for you guys that might be new here this, Uh, This morning or evening, Wherever you are, Um, The past two days we've been opening up. My first day was, I was really confused myself. What is it actually I want to share? How does this actually correlate with each other to trauma and addiction? I know that it does. I can feel it in my body, But start, You know, Investigating, Start, Um, Uh, Peeling in my own body. So the first day was observing, You know, Pre addiction, Pre behavior that might be eating or drinking or looking at endless YouTube videos or whatever our addiction might be. It might be the phone throughout the whole day, But observing it pre, You know, When we step into it, Observing it when we are in the full, You know, Experience of our addiction, In my case, Eating, Consuming, Um, And also noticing what happens post addiction, What happens after. So it's before, In and after just be observing what's going on inside of me. What am I telling myself? What are the components? What what's, What's the story? What can I recognize as being something that might be from my childhood, But from a compassionate place from a open heart? Because what we tend to do is that we go below the line. So if you just imagine a line and below the line, There's a triangle and there's, It's all about the drama, All about being right or blaming or feeling fear, Uh, You know, That toxic fear and we tend to go into victim. So pre addiction, We tend to start, You know, Having this victim feeling of there's something hard or tough or something like that. And then we will move into the hero, Which is up in the other part in the other, You know, Edge of the triangle. And the hero is the one that heroes ourselves or pleases others. So often when there's addiction in our system, We tend to be very keen on pleasing other people, Having a hard time saying no, Having a lot of thoughts on what other people might be thinking of me and being very much controlled in regards to emotions. So we hear ourselves by, You know, Eating or drinking or surfing mindlessly on the web or, You know, Exercising a lot or working a lot. And by, By doing that, We, We move away from what's actually the core, Which we actually could and should be working with. Then when we've done, You know, Being in the addiction, We move over to the villain. We start blaming ourselves. Why did I do that? And I'm no good and I can't control myself and I'm an adult, But I'm acting like a child and you know, Probably know all these, You know, Knocking ourselves in the head. And then, You know, It might, An hour might pass or two, And then we will, In my case, You know, After eating maybe a whole box of ice, I'm just being honest here, Right? That's the way to go for me, At least after eating a whole box of ice, You know, I will do that whole cycles, But then it's like, Suddenly I will start, Oh, Maybe I could have some more. And it's crazy because I'm, You know, I'm 47 years old. How could, Why is this happening? That is what we're exploring. So day two yesterday was to, Where first day, The first day was to say yes, With open eyes, Being observant, Open heart, Being compassionate to the addiction. Day two was to say no, But still with an open heart, Being compassionate, Being open, Being embracing. So I'm very keen on hearing whether you succeeded doing that or what happened. It's, It's, It's such a shame that we can't be talking and, You know, Sharing real time, But if you do feel like commenting, Sharing, Please go ahead and do that. So I'm very keen on, You know, I'm very interested in hearing how it was yesterday. Was it difficult? Easy saying no to yourself when you were about to have that addictive behavior. Let me just know if any of you guys challenge yourself on doing that yesterday. So while you might be doing that, I will share what happened to me. So from the morning, Because what we did yesterday, It's very important for me to share that yesterday, We work with resource persons or resource animals, Or just resources in general, Resources can be as, Whatever we can call, Reach out to inside of us, That we will be using our fantasy or imagination to have come into existence. So what we worked on yesterday was, Us being in here and us starting to have resource persons or as I mentioned, Any kind of other resource that might come up in our meditation. For me, As I mentioned yesterday, It's Ramdas, Which I also mentioned has this documentary on Netflix with the name Going Home. I definitely encourage you to watch that. So Ramdas, And also as I talked with you guys yesterday, We can use each other in here from the circle, Being there with us when we are about to consume, When we are about to do what we do when we are addicted. So yesterday, What I experienced was that I didn't get, I had to run out the door because it was too late. I forgot an appointment. I didn't get any food. I just had water. And then my normal thing would be to go to the grocery store and then I will be taking stuff from the bakery, A lot of different stuff. Well, Not necessarily a lot, But not the right stuff. And yesterday I was just looking at that cabinet and there was Ramdas and there were you. And it was pretty funny because I was just laughing. I was there in the supermarket just laughing. And I just looked at all this stuff and I said, No. And it was not without contraction. It was in laughter. It was in love. It was in connection to Ramdas and connection to you guys. So I said no and I moved on. It was like my eyes were looking for something which was healthy. I ended up going out with this kind of juice slash smoothie from a brand called Innocent, Which is I know quite good. Something I didn't try before. So I sat in the car and I, You know, Already then with my just noticing what happens right now, My breathing, That deep breathing was like a relief. Because what we need to be looking for with addiction and trauma are not the big steps. It's just the small steps. So if I'm able to do that once, Will I be able to do it again? Definitely. Most definitely. So we need to be building blocks, Right? Building blocks of experience, Just, You know, Every day making a decision that can change our life. But also accepting that the life changing things doesn't, You know, That it doesn't come overnight. But doing small things every day. Great Vienna and please do so. Please have me there laughing, You know, Or encouraging you or whatever. I mean, What's becoming so clear to me, I mentioned this story about the experiment with the experiments with the rats and the sugar and the heroin, The rat went for the sugar being more powerful. Another experiment where they put a lot, Lots of rats into cage, Again, Put sugar and heroin, No, But nobody touched neither the sugar or the heroin. So it's just, I mean, You can't see the forest from all the trees. That's I don't know if that's saying where you live as well. But in Denmark, That's a way of saying that we can't see what's actually going on. So I'm really waking up to this necessity of connecting with people of having a lot more emotional, Open hearted connection. And my way is definitely through just being as open as I can, And being as vulnerable as I can, Because I tend to have I spent the first 30 years of my life trying to be whatever I thought that other people wanted me to be to feel loved, But I disconnected from myself. So reconnecting to ourselves is so important. And when we do that, At the same time, Be reconnecting with other people, Reaching out being vulnerable sharing. So me doing this here, You guys are helping me. This is a healing process in my addiction with my traumas with you helping me. So if we can do that, You know, By using this kind of setup, I mean, Yes, It is probably or I know that it is more difficult to go out and with people emotional, You know, Real living people in front of you and be vulnerable. But I know that we can do it small steps. So listen, Let me just let me just know whatever intentions are out there for the session today. If you've just come in, What I'm asking for here is what would you love to bring with you from the session today? What would you love to it might be something that you are longing for or as you that did the meditation, It might be just a word or sentence. So just let me know in the comment field, Whatever you are looking for humility, Vienna, Thanks. And Vienna, One of the things that you did one of the other days was that you were in my, You know, Perspective, Very open and very vulnerable sharing with the things that you are going through. For me opening up is I mean, And putting it out there is the first step. It's the first step because then I acknowledge it myself. We especially with addiction can be and also with trauma can be you know, Imprisoned by our fear of what other people might think. And we can imprison ourselves with shame and guilt. So shame, The opposite to shame, The what do you call that? What do you call it when you are bitten by when you have venom and you need? What's the word? The antidote. Antidote, Right? So the antidote for for shame is pride. So whatever small doses of pride we can have, You know, Me walking away from that, Or that nice bakery stuff, That was a sense of relief and pride. So working with pride is so important in your everyday dealing with addiction. What I want to share today is actually going back to what I want to challenge you guys on. So let me just read here before moving on. So there were some different intentions, Right? Joy, Peace, Connection, Accept all things that show up, Giving up guilt, Let go of expectations. So Elvira, Ti, Andy, Lucy, Simone, Diane, Vienna, And all of you out there right now, You can choose one word, And you can go out and challenge yourself on, You know, Having that word come into existence today. So Elvira, How can you let go of those expectations today? What meditation can you use? That's something to reflect on, Right? Giving up guilt, Finding out what is the core of that guilt? What would be the, What would I be without the guilt? Who is it that's carrying the guilt? How can I let go of that today? And the accepting all the feelings that show up. How can I notice the contraction and just say yes, Just say yes to that contraction, Right? Connection, Lucy, How, What can you do to take, To go out and connect with somebody and connection could just be, You know, An eye gaze for a minute or so. I had this crazy experience out here. I did a six Monday session where I just sat down. We have a small room out here. I sat down because I wanted to challenge myself on, You know, Being calm when meeting people because my nervous system with people would just be all, You know, What's going on? What would they think? And I was, I just wanted to challenge that. So I opened up a calendar where people could book a time. I wouldn't know that they would be booking time and I wouldn't know for how long they would be booking it. But I was sitting in this room for six hours, Six Mondays, And the door would just open and a person would sit down in front of me and it's a small room. So the person would be like two, Three meters, No, Two and a half meters in front of me. Never ever seen the person, No words. My nervous system would go all crazy. My mind would go crazy because I set this up right. I chose this. So I was there and they were just there. I never seen them before and just calming down my, You know, Those feelings, Andy, Just calming it down, Noticing that everything that I experienced is me creating it. Just noticing my breathing, You know, Calming down. And what I, What I really learned was throughout these six days, Six Mondays was that just embrace whatever enters. It was women. It was men. It was a short periods of time. They were, You know, Lots of different nonverbal reactions. You know, It was sometimes hours. But what I realized was that I'm creating everything. So when, When nothing is expected, You know, Everything arises. When I do not tell myself that I need to react in a certain way, Tell my name, What I do, All the different things, You know, All the personality stuff, When there are no words, We connect. We do connect through words also, But just having that glance, Lucy, Not glance, Having that eye contact, I hope it makes sense. That experience in there was, It was six Mondays that changed my life together with all the other stuff that I do that has also changed my life. That's what I'm getting at. How can we use the addiction? You know, From, For me, Pleasing people was my addiction. I needed that fix. I needed somebody to smile to me and tell me that I was, Ah, That was good. Or you intelligent or whatever. You're such a nice guy. I needed that fix. So really letting that go more and more, Letting that go. So using that addiction to deal with trauma, Not there yet at all, But moving closer. I can feel that. Hello Molly. So let's just do a short meditation before moving on. Haven't you seen saying that I don't have any more battery. I'm just going to take this cable. Okay. That's fixed. Let's do a short meditation before we move on. So what we're gonna meditate on now is that yesterday was a no day with our open heart. So let's go back to reusing the meditation that we used on the first day, Which is to, And I will guide you of course, Which is to meditate on the essence of your addiction, The core of your addiction. And we can enter that core by, You know, Um, Slowing down. So if you're, That's why it's, It's actually quite important to, And it might sound weird, But analyze on what happens in your addiction. You know, How long time does it take? How long time does it take to me for you to eat a whole box of ice cream? Right? So by prolonging that, You know, And it's not even prolonging that, But, But here in the pre-stage to the addiction, There are studies that show that it's not actually when we consume, When we buy something, When we do what gives us the fix, But it's the split second before we do it. That is the core of, You know, The door into the trauma. That is the door into that craving that we're such longing for. So it's not getting the air from the cigarette into our lungs. It's just before we do it. So we can investigate this ourselves. And that's what we're going to do in this meditation. So we're talking about before we do what we do in addiction, Before you grab the phone next time, When your hand reaches down to take it, Just slow your hand down. Notice your breathing. Just notice what is this longing? How does this relate to what I was longing for as a child? Yeah. Okay. So I didn't get that genopotent on my phone though. Um, So, So we can, Let's do this meditation and then we'll move on, Um, To what I'm asking you to continue doing when we finish today. So just closing your eyes, Creating that small smile on your lips is always in my universe, A good thing to do is if you're not really up to it, If you don't feel like smiling, Just go with that. Couple of deep breaths. There's some, There's a part of me that starts laughing because my mind, You know, What I want to ask you to meditate on is that we know that we're going to do our thing today with our addiction, Right? It's already there. It's not a question whether we are going to do it or not. Especially with time, Yes, We will not know whether we will be doing it or not, But right now just, Just be honest to yourself. When are you planning this addiction? When is it planned for today? It might not be in your calendar scheduled to binge or to, You know, Uh, Buy or to overwork or overeat might not be in your calendar, But just let's use this, Um, Creativity and lightness and humor to see if you were to put your addiction into your calendar today with a calm breath and open heart, Relaxed eyes, Small smile on your lips. When would you put it in the calendar? And what would you write? Remember to what? Remember to dot, Dot, Dot Just being honest to yourself, Calm breathing, Small smile, Open heart. When today would you be doing your thing? Is it multiple times today? Is it just one time? For how long are you going to do it? No contractions, Just being open, Being compassionate. And it might not be a physical thing that your addiction is. It might be an emotional thing. It might be pleasing other people. It might be feeling sorry, You know, Being depressed and just be open to whatever arises. Relaxing those eyes. Calm, Natural, Easy breathing. Really being honest to yourself in regards to when you're scheduling your addiction time today. And if you looked in your calendar, What would it say in that period of time? Just take a couple of deep breaths before finishing off this meditation. Maybe rolling those shoulders, Stretching the body. That was actually quite funny. What I love about this meditation is that I learn so much all the time. I mean, For me to put in my addiction in a calendar is just so ridiculous. But I can feel it already that it's going to change it even more. So I'm going to sit down when we're finished and put my addiction into a calendar. And I'll be honest to myself in regards to when doing today. I'm having this addiction and I'm going to prepare myself for what to experience. I think that this is all about me being you being the main awareness and us taking responsibility for whatever goes on inside of us. Having this awareness that this is not something that's happening to me, The trauma happened to me and then something was traumatized inside of me. Yes. And that's something that I've been struggling with. And I've developed a personality to deal with that and I've developed coping skills, Addictions in order to not connect and feel that trauma. So what we're working on here is with an open heart, With love and tenderness and connectivity to start letting go of that addiction, Understanding it, Being creative, Looking at it from a positive side. This is my healer. The addiction is my healer. It's the door to heal the trauma. And by slowly finding out how we can let go of this and open that door, Start letting go of that. We don't need that friend anymore. That will open up to not just nice things. I'm in the process right now. My body's reacting. My muscles in my heart are contracting. It's uncomfortable, But I'm willing to feel it. I'm willing to feel those pain layers be moving into the core of the trauma. So right now I am in my own life, Reaching out to, I have a weekend schedule with my mentor and therapist, My spiritual mentor and therapist through the last 12 years. I'm going to spend a weekend with him. I've asked my wife to go with me as a witness, To be there with me in this process, Because I have a lot of trauma. I'm a political refugee from Chile. I experienced in the womb of my mother, Many things that she was exposed to. I had a father that was incarcerated and tortured through three years, Fleeing to Denmark, Having a life that turned out as it did with all these different implications, Dealing with that when I became 30 years old, Not knowing who I was. And struggling with all these things, But starting to train to become a psychotherapist and work with all this different stuff and letting go, Letting go, Letting go. And now being at another point in my life where I'm ready to take the next step, Which I'm sharing with you, Which is to go even deeper into these traumas, The early traumas, Which I do feel are nonverbal. So it's early stuff. I hope this makes sense. I hope it makes sense. So what I want to share with you, And again, If you just come on board, I can see that there is a lot more people right now. I'm recording this also, And it will be an inside timer. And if you do have any questions after the sessions, Please do reach out. It might take a couple of days or more to reply, But I will reply. I'm doing this, As I mentioned many times before, Because I've received so much help and I want to help back. And I want to do a significant change in everybody's who I meet on my path in their lives. But not just for the sake of us. I've also come to understand that our time is limited. I'm looking at my girls, Luca and Vega, 11 and 13. And I can see that it's not about us anymore. It's not about me. You know, I had my fair share of narcissism. So starting to let go of all that and understanding that it's not about me anymore. It's not about you anymore. It's about us. But it's about us giving, Passing that on to the kids, If we don't have kids, To grandchildren or other people's kids or other adults. So that in seven generations time, That's really what drives me, Closing my eyes and feeling that pride of what I do now, What you do now, What we do now, Imagining what will that mean in a family, In a community in seven generations. That's really something that I feel as something when I'm going to close my eyes and have the last out breath in my life, I want to have that smile and I want to have that pride and that warm feeling. So let's go back. I was scheduling 45 minutes, But I do have more time today. So I'm just going to continue. If you do need to go, Thank you for being here. So listen, You might not be able to read this, I'll just share with you. So day one was about observing our behavior, Right, Our addiction. But doing it with a compassionate heart, Doing it with love towards our self understanding. And day two yesterday was to do the same thing, Observe it, But say no. Say no with an open heart, With a gentle heart, Just as if you would do to somebody you love, If it's a child, If it's a brother or mother or whomever might be in a situation where they asking you for something that is damaging or not good and not healthy. I wouldn't give my kids a cigarette, Right? So saying no and just practicing that. And then what we did yesterday was to add these resources and RPs for resource persons. So if you just came to the group now, You can listen to day two to understand what resource persons are. But the short description is that it's something or somebody, Not necessarily somebody who's living, It might be a grandparent or an ancestor, Appearing in our inner world, Being able to really help us in the process of saying no. So here comes day three. So what I'm asking you to do after this day three is to commit. As I mentioned, We have an opportunity each day to make a decision that will change our life. It might take 10 years. Just being realistic, It might take one year, It might take whatever time or repetition it takes. But making that decision today will mean that you're moving a bit closer, A bit closer. So this day three is deciding today for you that were on day one, Day two, And are here also day three, Today is for you to decide when you move into that scheduled addiction, Whether you want to say yes or no. Still with an open, Compassionate heart, With lots of love, With lots of resource persons, Maybe all of 129 people behind you in that supermarket or I'm always referring to stuff you can eat because that's my addiction. And I know that many people are struggling with this. Sugar, Salt, And grease, Right? That's what it's in the food and we really crave that. So today when opening the fridge in my case, I will have Ramdas, I will have you guys, I will have the faces of you that are in here behind me, Not judging me, But just there to say, Well, Today is your choice. It's me saying that, Right? And you're just supporting me, Ramdas supporting me, The resource persons, It can be spirits, It can be God, It can be grandparents that are no longer here. But for me to make that decision, Whether it's a yes or no, Without any contraction, Without going below the line where there's victim, Villain, And hero, Right above the line is the creator. So that's what we're working with here, The creator. So going from victim to creator and going from the villain, The one that blames us and we blame ourselves, We criticize ourselves to the challenger and going from the hero that will just mindlessly eat or do whatever to become completely present and be in the main awareness and just, You know, That today it's your choice. Today it's my choice whether I want to eat, You know, Mindlessly or not, But I will do it compassionately. Let me know if this, Hola Carlos, Let me know if this makes sense or not, If you have any questions to this. Many of the things that, You know, Many of, Let me just share, Many of these things have, All of these are methods. All of these are, You know, Ways of dealing with different things that I have, You know, Been inspired to develop or which have come up in meditations throughout the past, What's that 17 years. So the one with the resource persons is here, Right? So what I'm asking you to do is to commit, Is to make a decision and commit. So if you are, If this makes sense, So day one is saying yes to whatever addiction is, Go ahead, You know, Just say yes with an open heart, Compassion. Day two is saying no from an open heart, Compassion, Having your resource persons, Having me or whomever is there, Having the whole group here behind you, Just supporting you in that no, Making another choice. It's always good to have alternatives to what you're addicted to now. And it just needs to be something that is slightly better. So yesterday me standing in front of that, You know, Bakery thing and wanting to just take, Take, Take, It could be something that will just be slightly better. That means that we're moving in the right direction. So day three is you deciding whether to say yes or say no, Still having the resource persons behind you, Still having that open heart and that smile on your lips, Being above the line in creator challenger and coach. So here comes the challenge and this is completely up to you, Right? Repetition is the mother of skill. There's no doubt to that. Everything that we have learned, We have learned through repetition. So I'm actually asking you to decide and to commit, You know, So how many sets are you willing to do? So they want two and three is one set. So one set is three days. So pretty, Pretty basic, Right? And you can decide just to do one set and then decide after the third day, Whether you want to do another set. I'll explain why this is important. So I will commit from, You know, Let me say, This is my yes and no day. So from tomorrow I will do seven sets, Which is 21 days. And I, You know, I'm working out how these circles work, But I will do a circle on inside timer. I'm going to call it, Let's just call it the golden circle. I'm probably going to rename it, But just so you, If this makes sense to you and you want to commit and you want to take action, Just look up. I haven't created that circle yet. So I will create it afterwards, Maybe during the day, Just go in and search for the golden circle. It might be taken though. I don't know. I'll find out the golden circle colors. I will write something like that. So if you do want to commit, Then go in and add yourself to that group because I want to use that group to share. I want to use that group for you to share and start feeling that pride, Which is the opposite to shame, Which is a main component in addiction and probably also opens the door to the trauma. Okay. So the golden circle colors, I'll write that if, If, Uh, It's not taking the golden circle, It will just be that name. So I will commit to the seven sets 21 days from tomorrow. So if you want to do this, And the reason why I'm stressing this is that we can read, We can listen, We can do whatever. If we don't take action, It will just be lovely experiences like going to the cinema and watching something or eating a great burger or something like that. It would just be a great experience. If we want to really work with this stuff and start moving into those layers of pain and moving into that trauma, We need to start making decisions. My point is that this doesn't need to be, You know, A really hard thing, A tough thing. And what definitely makes it a lot easier is if, If people are, You know, Companions on this, On this journey, Right? So the golden circle is going to be companions on this circle, Committing to, You know, How many sets you want to do. So one set being three days, Right? And you can write that in the golden circle, Committing to X amount of sets. As I mentioned, If you just came on board right now, This is recorded on a separate file that I will upload on Insight Timer. And there's two other days before this day, Right? So the reason why this is important, So this is going to be finishing off the three days and then we're going to finish off with a meditation. The reason why it's important to commit to these, You know, Specific sets of days is that when we set goals, When we, You know, Also when, Especially when we do it with other people, There's such a, It's 43% better chance that you will succeed when you set goals than when you don't do. The other thing is that if we do not set goals, It will be more the unconscious stuff, Everything that has to do with trauma or the unconscious stuff, With our addiction that will take over. So is this about taking control? Yes and no. We're letting control into something that will open doors, But we're also gaining control because we actually becoming more and more competent in the area of being willing to feel everything. So you've heard me say this before, For those of you who know me, The most important thing for me is to be willing to feel everything. So just when I said that, I imagined myself just about to take something and eat it and being willing to not do it and being willing to feel, You know, That, Oh, That contraction that no, I wanted that craving. I'm willing to do that. And I'm well aware that this takes a long time. You know, It's not an easy task, But taking small steps and doing it together, It definitely helps. So Freda, You commit, So anybody else who wants to commit, You don't need to write it here. As I mentioned, Go in and add yourself to this, The golden circle group, The golden circle. Elena, Would you post your notes in this new circle? Yeah, I don't, I can write this stuff down. I don't, I'm really become so good at not saying that there's something I will do because I have such a bad experience with saying that there's something I want to do and then I don't get it done and I feel so bad. So I'm really practicing on that. I still do it a lot, But maybe I will post my notes. So maybe Elena, But I will keep it in mind. Great. Listen, Everybody. Let's do a finalizing meditation here. Again this is recorded and it will be an inside timer. The first two days are just waiting to be approved and this third day is going to be published later on today. So let's move on to the last meditation here before finishing off. And it's going to be the same that we've used the other days. Connecting using visualization. All of us in here, We are 134. It would be so great to make a live camp with all of you meeting, But we'll have to wait with that until we are on the other side of all this Corona stuff. So let's get ready to meditate, At least to focus on the inner visualization and just sit in whatever way you want to sit. If you need to get more comfortable, Do that, Lay down or whatever you would love to do, Whatever feels right for you. So just start out with that slow, Calm, Natural breathing, Maybe taking in a couple of deep breaths. Small smile. Everything is good. Everything is okay. You're completely safe. And also reminding yourself that this stuff doesn't need to be all, You know, Grown up and all doing everything in the right way. Let's also just have fun and open up and feel that heart pound. Let's now use our imagination and step into this really big open grass field. Like it's just so green and it's sunny and it's warm and all of us are, You know, Here right now. People are just talking to each other. You might be talking to somebody or just sitting down and just enjoying. You might be laying in the grass, Looking at the sky, The blue sky. Birds flying by and just feeling free. Just feeling, You know, This experience of just not needing to be somebody, Not needing to do anything. Just just with a lot of people that just feel good, Just talking and just being themselves and being honest and vulnerable and strong and brave. But there's no comparison. You're just you. Now you hear this, This thong calling in for attention and everybody gathers around and we all stand in this big circle. There are no words, There's just us, You know, Standing there and just looking at each other, Smiling. Somebody is laughing and we laugh a bit and people start quieting down. You start quieting down. Just having this really peaceful breathing. You know that there's no expectations for you. There's not anything that you're going to be asked to do. No performing at all. Just connecting. There's this small pause. Nobody's saying anything. There's just silence. Just hear the wind blow. Feel the heat from the sun. The birds. Now I'm asking everybody to take the hand of the person standing to your right and the hand of the person standing to your left. And by doing this, You might feel a bit, You know, Hesitant because after all, It's a person that you don't really know that well. But taking down the hand also feels good and taking up that hand or holding that hand feels warm and it feels like you want to squeeze it. And just feeling that connection. Just holding those hands and calming down. And being able to feel the other person breathing because of their chest going up and down and that moving into their shoulder and arm and hand. And the same goes for you. So this big circle of beautiful people just holding hands and breathing into their hearts and breathing out of their hearts. Taking a couple of deep breaths and really take all this in. And it's okay that there might be a bit of contraction and might be a bit strange. Lots of new faces. But there's more willingness in you to open up than to close down. Just feeling those shoulders just relax even more. And somebody starts laughing and you can't help yourself. Just laugh too and everybody's just laughing. And you know how it is, You're just laughing even harder when somebody laughs and you can feel it in their arms because all their bodies are just moving like an ocean. So much joy, So much laughter, So much peace. Just being you. Just being you. Just being you. And slowly start letting go of the hands. You don't know for how long time we've been here holding hands but it's just a natural letting go of the hands and just embracing the other people that are next to you without any words. Embracing to the right, Embracing to the left, Looking at other faces, Embracing people just walking between each other, Just connecting with their eyes, Just embracing. Some are tall, Some are small, Some are big, Some are small. Doesn't matter. We're just us. You being you. And in a completely natural fashion everybody just starts sitting down or walking away or laying down. You get ready to just lay down and relax. And now also starting to get ready to finish and move from this beautiful circle, This grass field that you can always return to whenever you want. Meeting these people, Meeting everybody in this circle right now. But moving your attention to this here and this now, Starting to move your fingers, Your feet, Maybe stretching a bit. And coming to this presence, This now. Being here, All of us together. Smiles on our lips. Some things might have made sense, Some not. But just whatever you can take with you, Take it with you. Whatever intention you started out with, Just breathe in, Feel that intention. And also know that you are and I am, We are on a path just taking small steps. One step at a time. So we're about to finish off for today. If you just came into the live session now, This is recorded and you can listen to it probably in a couple of days, All three of them, All three days will be there. Thank you Simone. Thank you, NC. Thank you Elena and everybody. Thank you so much for those donations. My part goes to a project here in Copenhagen, Denmark that's called Big Heart Skateboarding. Skateboarding has definitely changed my life. I've been skateboarding since I was 13 years old. And I do sessions with kids through skateboarding, Dealing with whatever label might have been put on them, Whether it's, You know, ADD, ADHD, Whatever disorder, Whatever label, I put that away and we do work through skateboarding. And then also, I'm, You know, Inside timer, I'm just so grateful for this community. And for me to use a word as community is new. I tend to just, You know, On Facebook, Not really getting that involved. And I've just been so puzzled to why am I getting so involved here? What's going on? Is it a process in my life? Is it because there's this setup? I had to get used to just talking to a camera. But what was so important for me was that I could actually feel you out there. And what also really warms my heart is afterwards receiving, You know, Messages or mails. And really, Please do not hold back, Not at least not on my behalf, Do not hold back on questions or sharing or whatever, Whatever you might have via mail or email or messages on inside timer, Right? We're living in a weird time. And it's whatever we can do to, You know, Have some way of dealing with this. And my way of dealing with this is really to try to grow with it, Grow with the pressure, Grow with whatever's difficult, Being willing to feel everything, Opening up for these addictions, Working with that, You know, Getting closer to what the trauma is, Dealing with that, Embracing that. There was a reason why the trauma, You know, Was created, Right? It's a protector. I survived because of that protector. So the trauma is not bad. But it also needs to understand that it's time to let go. That trauma grip is time to start letting go. I'm the only one that can do that work with me. And of course, As I mentioned earlier, I'm reaching out in this process of my life to my therapist and spiritual mentor. So reaching out is so important. And I do think that I'm going to make that the last thing that I'm going to share today. Reach out. And really do it today. Reach out to somebody. Message, Email, You know, The guys that were with me last week with what other people think of you with those five days. And then I had to reach out to my brother through a voice recorded file on a USB stick because I couldn't get myself to call him. I couldn't get myself to write him. But I wanted to do it. I wanted to reach out. So I can't stress it enough. Connection, Connection, Connection, Connection, Connection. Emotional connection. So Jenna, The best way is just to do it through Inside Timer. There has also been, You know, You guys asked in regards to one to ones. And I am doing one to ones. There is, You know, I can start right away, But eventually I will be able to start with one to ones if there's any interest from any of you. So via Inside Timer. That's the way that I'm doing it with the messages from in here. So everybody, Thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for sharing. Whatever questions or anything else you might have, Please do reach out. Challenge yourself to, You know, Do something today. And if you want to, You know, Challenge yourself on these sets that I mentioned, Commit to three days of first day with no yes, Second day with no and the resource persons, And third day with either yes or no with resource persons, All of it with open heart and compassion. If you want to commit to this process, Add yourself to the circle. I'm going to call it the golden circle. I'm going to, You know, Open it up or create it when we finish off here. Thank you, Frida. Thank you, Everybody, For being here and sharing. And probably see you next week. I'll be doing three days on what other people think of you. And I will be adding. I do think I will prioritize this and do it, Do something every week. It's just doing so much good for me and hopefully it will be able to do something good for you as well. So thanks a lot, Everybody. Big hugs and hopefully see you next week. Thanks a lot, Everybody. Have a great day. Bye bye. Great tea. Good to hear that. Thank you, Jenna. Thank you, Frida. Thank you, Peace. Beautiful name. Elvira, Claudia, Angela. Thank you so much, Simone, Also for the donation and everybody else that donated. Thank you, NC, Diane, Vienna, Sandra, Carlos. Thank you to you also, Tina. Thank you, Jenna. Thank you, Everybody. Bye bye. So that was the end of day three. And wow. I don't really have any words right now. I just really feel alive and so grateful. I mean, It's just so strange to be able to connect the. . . I mean, Okay, I'm going to finish off with this last story. I can't remember the names of the birds, But the story was. . . It's a Netflix series called Connected. Check it out because it's really good. So there were these bird lovers, Bird observers that wanted to know about this small bird. They wanted to put a GPS on them and find out where did they go to nest when they traveled to warmer places. Where did they go? And this was in some place in the United States. And what was just so crazy and mind-boggling was that they went all the way to Brazil. So that was the first thing that was crazy, That they traveled so long, This little bird. But what was so crazy was that they found out that they didn't understand why they just didn't travel at the same time. But because they had to travel over the ocean, They came to maybe suspect that something they were anticipating, Maybe predicting the tornadoes or this really heavy weather. And what was so strange and what they couldn't find out why was that the birds traveled earlier or later because they could predict whether it was going to be a level five or seven, Not in bird language, But in human language, In these storms, In these tornadoes. So right now they cannot explain what is it that they are connected to. How come these birds know that there's months ahead, Weeks ahead, That the weather is going to be worse or better? So the same thing goes for whatever we do here in Inside Timer. I'm being so open to that I don't know what this might bring with it that I do not understand. So the bird will intuitively travel earlier or later because there's something telling this intuitively. What can we do intuitively? What can we connect to intuitively that we close down and start? How can we start reopening that door, That ability to connection? Thank you so much for these three days. It's been awesome. It's been wonderful. It's been deep. And I hope to continue this process with you guys. Thank you so much. Bye bye.

Reviews

Incredible, thank you