There are times along the way in life when past decisions made and other available choices that were not taken.
Rise up onto our path to be wrangled with.
Times when we are haunted by the impact of the decision made.
And by the potential impact of,
What if I had made the other choice?
Hindsight can be painful and uncomfortable.
More so when we are looking on the past from a place of should've,
Would've,
Could've,
Than when we consider it from a place of compassionate reflection.
Accepting decisions made and letting go of other paths not taken.
Can be hard to do.
More so,
Perhaps,
When these things have come back into view because of painful experiences.
Such as bereavement.
Capacity-consuming life challenges,
And times when we are shifting out of one chapter and into another.
Taking our time with this acceptance and letting go is okay.
Trees don't just drop their leaves one day.
There is a whole process of noticing the change of season and responding chemically to that environmental shift before a gradual releasing of that part of themselves.
Beautifully expressed through color changes.
And then eventually letting go.
The tree then has more capacity available for proactive rest and replenishment.
Before the next bringing to fruition.
Along my own journey,
I have had my own wrangling with the past,
And no doubt there will be again at some point.
It is not an easy process.
Through it,
We tend to experience grief,
Self-judgment,
Self-blame,
Regret,
And often something like fear.
I have had to work hard at these times to pull myself away from spending energy on another path that could have been,
And commit myself to focusing on the blessed and wonderful and of course imperfect path that I am actually on,
That I am actually living.
There is no point tending a garden that does not and will not exist.
The only outcome of that is the real and present garden being neglected.
A waste of energy,
And us separating ourselves from our present self and life.
And losing ourselves into dis-ease.
Acknowledging our thoughts and feelings,
And the decisions made is important though.
By doing so,
We take ourselves into awareness so that we can then have space to choose how we go forward.
We get to choose healthy reflection over judgmental and non-accepting analysis,
Thus allowing ourselves the ability to grieve,
Process and release,
So that we can come back to our present and accept it lovingly and with capacity to really be here,
Now.
Compassionate reflection in the process of release enables us to learn from our regrets and make more aligned decisions going forward so that each new chapter is lived more consciously as we learn more about who we are and how we want to engage in this thing called life.
By releasing well,
We grow.
We give ourselves freedom to flourish.
And these reflections bring to mind the well-known poem by Robert Frost called The road not taken.
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both and be one traveler.
Long I stood,
And looked down one as far as I could,
To where it bent in the undergrowth.
Then took the other as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there had worn them really about the same.
And both that morning equally lay,
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh,
I kept the first for another day.
Yet knowing how way leads onto way.
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh.
Somewhere ages and ages hence.
Two roads diverged in the wood,
And I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
