When we start to work on changing our narratives,
Emotional responses,
Thought patterns and behaviours,
It can be a daunting task.
It's hard work and it takes time.
Neuronal plasticity is how a brain reorganises itself based on what it sees,
Knows and learns.
These days we know so much more about how much control we can have over how our brains function and how they're organised and how much control we can have over rewiring them.
I'm not saying this is easy work in the slightest but it is doable.
There are times when we may not be able to change our thought patterns and responses to life,
When we literally don't have the mental mobility,
Such as when we're in deep grief,
When we're living with particular experiences of mental illness,
Sometimes during hormone changes or just when we're simply at capacity.
I'm talking here about work we can do when we are well enough and it's important to note that even when we are in great mental fitness this work is always one step at a time and at a manageable pace,
Whatever that means for you.
The thought patterns and feelings we have followed for years,
Our brain synapses or pathways in our brains that have been strengthened from so much use since their creation.
Much like building muscle memory for how we move our bodies,
Our default thoughts,
Self-talk,
Feelings and behaviours are go-to reactions that our brains have learned and are easily accessible and so they take little amounts of energy for our brains to action.
Constant negative self-talk,
Negative thinking,
Judgmental thinking and so on creates neuronal pathways for those activities,
Making them default reactions and of course our thoughts and feelings denote our behaviours and how we show up in the world.
When we lead ourselves from within,
Part of that process is cultivating and ingraining new behaviours,
Beliefs,
Thoughts and emotional responses,
Though obviously we need to keep some emotional reactions just as they are because they keep us safe in life.
When we choose to work on thinking and feeling differently,
We are choosing to get our brain to work against its previously developed muscle memory and to learn a new way of working.
If you've spent years taking the same walk through some untouched woodland and then one day decided to take a different path that hasn't been trodden before,
It could involve lifting your legs higher for each step to get over the plants,
Moving thorny bushes out the way,
Getting stuck or lost momentarily,
Coming across an obstacle and either having to figure out how to traverse it or having to retrace your steps to find a better way through and many other potential challenges along the way.
This will all be possible but it is hard work and will be slow going to begin with.
The first time you take the new path there may well be a sense of achievement but the next time,
Especially if you just need to get to your destination or are distracted and miss the turning or extra emotional and mental effort in that moment might just feel a bit too much,
You might find yourself taking the odd path and that's okay.
Growth is a messy old process in which we do much better when we show ourselves grace throughout.
Awareness in hindsight that we missed the turning is still increased awareness and it adds to our learning if we hold it with reflection rather than criticising ourselves for failing.
The new path needs exploring and treading again and again before we find ease with it.
There needs to be a meaning and a purpose that we are interested in to keep us walking this way.
Building this new muscle memory takes training,
Commitment,
Willingness to be uncomfortable and imperfect and the generosity of self-care.
We wouldn't take on serious physical training without rest and nourishment so we need to apply the same to training our minds.
As these new pathways become our defaults synaptic pruning occurs,
That negative talk gets quieter although to begin with it might shout a little bit louder to make sure it's heard but it does start to speak up less often and eventually the paths in the woods we have learned to avoid start to grow over and the path disappears.
We get to be the gardener of our own minds.
Our brains evolve and build up strength dependent on what we ask of them.
So what do you ask of your brain?
How do you want your brain to function?
What exercise do you give it?
Do you give your brain quiet,
Replenishing space?
Do you give it experiences of awe,
Connection,
Forgiveness,
Acceptance and curiosity?
We can learn to choose the perspective and learning we take away from experiences in life.
We can choose some of our experiences such as how we spend our time,
What relationships we choose to engage with,
Where we put our concentration,
Time and energy and so on and of course how we nourish our bodies through water,
Food,
Movement and touch impacts how our brains are organized and which pathways become well trodden.
As I say this is intentional work that like physical training takes care,
Intention,
A whole load of learning,
Connecting to meaning and purpose,
A willingness to keep pushing ourselves at a healthy pace and of course acknowledgement and celebration along the way.
You are the author of your inner wilderness.
