Hi,
This is Meg Granaldi of Body-Centered Inquiry.
What's offered here is a body-centered contemplation based on practicing compassion and action by Joan Halifax Roshi.
I've taken the liberty to create some variations on this teaching.
We'll explore this through a teaching called the GRACE process,
G-R-A-C-E,
Which is an acronym,
That provides a straightforward practice on how to stay connected to yourself and others in day-to-day situations.
It's one thing to spend hours meditating on a cushion.
It's another to know how to be skillful in our daily lives,
To be able to integrate.
As someone who has had a formal meditation practice for three decades,
I can say without the capacity to engage the day-to-day from the insights gently gathered on the cushion,
The long hours of sitting would be of little use.
Contemplative practices themselves are bridges between times of formal practice and the daily round.
In fact,
Contemplation can offer you a way to rest your mind as you go about your life.
Contemplation reveals that you have a choice about where you place your mind.
How you engage your body reveals where you've placed your mind.
Your habits of mind are revealed in your movements and expressions in the world.
GRACE is an acronym,
As I've said,
And I'll offer reflection on what each of the letters in the word GRACE represent.
For deepening into the work and teachings of Joan Halifax Roshi,
Please check out her latest book,
Standing at the Edge,
Finding Freedom Where Fear and Courage Meet.
This contemplation can be done sitting,
Lying down,
Or walking.
Have a paper and pen handy if you want to take notes.
I'd ask that if you choose to take notes that you do so by hand.
It's been discovered that writing by hand accesses a part of the brain that's similar to meditation.
Whether you are walking,
Sitting,
Or lying down,
Begin by noticing the quality of your mind right now.
Is it speedy or slow,
Distracted,
Foggy,
Clear?
How would you describe it?
And then scan through your body in a simple way,
Is there tension,
Holding,
Openness,
Spaciousness?
And how is your breathing?
Shallow,
Deep,
Quick,
Light,
Or slow?
Let's make a note of what's happening for you right now.
There's nothing to do about it.
However you are is fine.
It's the awareness of these rising and falling states of body-mind that count.
In the acronym GRACE,
G is for gather attention.
I'd also say G is for ground yourself.
Breathing in,
You gather your attention.
Breathing out,
You allow your attention to drop into a place in your body.
When you access the structural and dynamic support of your body,
You can stay present and respond from a place of connection to yourself.
You've got a much better chance of responding to what's actually happening from a place of presence.
Presence depends upon a steadiness in listening deeply to your body and respecting it as a source of wisdom.
R is for recall intention.
We recall that our intention is to be of service to others and our world.
As Roshi Jones says here,
Quote,
Our motivation keeps us on track,
Morally grounded,
And connected to our highest values,
End quote.
Another way of stating this is asking yourself,
What is your motivation?
A is for attune to self and other,
Attunement.
First we tune into our own physical,
Emotional,
And psychological experience,
And then to the experience of others.
This is the practice of empathy.
We first touch into our own experience and then open to the experience of another in a wholehearted way.
If you are having a strong reaction to the person with whom you're interacting,
It makes it difficult to perceive how they are or who they are or even how you are.
Here again Roshi Jones speaks wisely,
Quote,
If we are aware of reactivity and reflect on the sources of the person's suffering,
We might be able to reframe the situation in a non-judgmental and insightful way.
This process of attunement and reappraisal primes the neural networks associated with empathy and supports a compassionate response,
End quote.
Notice here she's not saying that empathy and compassion are the same thing.
They are not the same thing.
But empathy is required for compassion.
The art and science of such reframing takes self-knowledge and practice.
It's not something most of us know how to do spontaneously.
It's also important to note that while you can see another's suffering deeply,
It doesn't mean that in your empathy and compassion you give someone permission to harm you in any way.
You are not responsible for another person's bad behavior.
Sometimes the most skillful thing to do is simply remove yourself from the situation.
It's important to respect your boundaries and not get blinded by idealism in an effort to be open or spiritual.
Accepting our humanity is a spiritual act.
See is for consider what will serve.
More often than not we have our own ideas of what will serve without truly seeing who or what is right in front of us.
It is easy here to be operating from ideology or fantasy rather than the reality of the present moment.
You don't have to analyze,
But rather become aware and assess.
Based on empathy,
Based on what you know of the situation,
The person,
The conditions,
Your own limits,
What is truly useful?
This kind of attention requires the previous three qualities of gathering attention,
Recalling intention,
Attuning to yourself and others.
It offers you an opportunity to be truly generous toward yourself and the other,
And you can become less attached to the outcome in the situation.
E is for engage and end.
Then I quote from Roshi John,
Quote,
The first phase of the E in grace is to ethically engage and act if appropriate,
End quote.
Reflecting upon the other four qualities,
Gathering attention,
Recalling intention,
Attunement to self and other,
Considering what will serve,
How do you engage?
And then at some point you end your engagement with that particular action so you can move on to the next moment.
E is for end as well.
This is a key teaching here.
We can do all the other steps but then forget to let go,
To end it.
An example of this is a friend who while she had put her will in order,
She was worried about what will happen between certain family members after her death.
Ending the engagement is important.
We all have to let go in the end,
So why not use our day to day experiences to practice how we end our engagements.
As you may have noticed,
This practice can be as much about developing compassion for the world as it is about compassion for ourselves and the limits of this life.
When we can appreciate the limits of ourselves and others,
We can then open to what's possible.
The teaching from Gandhi about be the change we want to see in the world is no small aspiration.
I'll review the steps of grace briefly here.
G,
Gather attention,
Ground into the stability of your body,
Trusted as a resource.
R,
Recall intention,
What is your motivation?
A,
Attune to self and other,
The roots of compassion lie in our ability to be empathetic.
Compassionate action arises out of our capacity for both empathy and healthy boundaries.
C,
Consider what will serve,
What is most helpful in this moment?
E,
Engage and end,
Letting go,
Moving on,
Allow yourself to meet the next moment with a fresh mind and renewed attention.
In closing,
Accept the fact that conflict is a part of life.
It can be a gateway to healing and repair.
We live in times where we have to up our game,
Our self-awareness and our self-acceptance.
We all experience difficulties and relationships that test us.
But with so much information coming at us all the time about self-improvement,
It's easy to compare ourselves and chronically come up short.
Then we end up managing our self,
Rather than embracing all of who we are.
Grace arises when we accept our self.
Contemplation and action always begins with self-compassion.
Notice the quality of your mind,
Of your presence.
Compare it to however it was at the beginning of this contemplation.
Consider experimenting with this contemplation as you go about your day.
Be well.
