The Deficient Lover

This meditation is for the part of you that’s felt disconnected from love-whether it’s love for yourself, for others, or for life itself. The deficient lover energy often shows up as a closed heart, isolation, self-judgment, or the feeling that love just isn’t available. Together, we’ll gently explore where that pattern lives, meet it with compassion, and begin the process of reintegrating it back into the heart. You don’t need to fix yourself-you just need to be willing to feel, to acknowledge, and to start loving the parts of you you’ve pushed away. Let’s sit, breathe, and begin to open the heart—one honest breath at a time.

Transcript

Welcome to the deficient lover energy. And this energy is probably the energy that creates the most pain for ourselves as individuals and collectively as a whole for humanity. Probably all the great dictators of history suffered from deficient lover energy. Many criminals do. People who give up on life and experience a lot of depression. On the very extreme end of the deficient lover, We find a kind of darkness in humanity when there isn't enough love. And so we all have seen that. Maybe we've experienced it ourselves, And maybe we have some of that as well to a lesser degree. But the deficient lover, When it isn't properly looked at and healed and understood, Can really cause some chaos and damage in our lives. Now, I don't want to alarm you. It's okay if you have some deficient lover energy. We almost all do in varying degrees. And we're here to look at it, To heal it, And to shift into being a balanced, Fulfilled lover. And I don't mean just lover in an intimate way. I mean lover as in our heart is showing up fully and authentically in the world and is able to give and receive love. So the deficient lover often has a hard time giving and or receiving love. The deficient lover might have a closed heart, Might experience selfishness, Might be very judgmental towards themselves or others, Might lack self-worth or validation, Might have a hard time trusting people. And that could turn into also trying to control others, Believing that everyone is out to get you or to use you, And not really being able to fully experience the incredible sense of love that we have the capacity for as human beings. And that often comes from being hurt or not getting enough love as a child. So in this meditation, I know that was a lot. We're going to start to look at it. And if you need to do this meditation more than once to look at different pieces, You're more than free to come back to it again and again and even skip this part. So go ahead, Close your eyes. Let's get nice and comfortable, As comfortable as we can get with deficient lover energy. And with all deficiencies and excesses, You can imagine a deficiency is kind of a shrinking of our energy, A hardening and avoiding, A trying to escape energy. And the excesses can be inflating, Getting bigger on the best, Trying to avoid by overriding, Being excessive in some way. So as you close your eyes and take a deep breath, I'd like you to get a sense if there's a place in your life, And just choose one for right now. Let it almost just rise to the surface where perhaps you've been experiencing this deficient lover energy. If you've kept your heart closed in a relationship, Or you've been selfish or avoiding, If there's a lack of self-worth, I'd like you to just take a moment here as your body begins to relax, As you settle in, As you drop your shoulders away from your ears and release any tension out of your body. I'd like you to just notice if there's a certain kind or type of deficiency in your lover energy that you've noticed. There's a pattern. One of the really profound ways we can come back into our lover is by being honest. The heart loves honesty. So see if there's a certain energy that arises. You can look at it with your mind's eye. Have that awareness, This, Ah, Yes, That's the part of my life where I have a hard time fully showing up with my heart, Where I back away, I hide, I avoid. All I'd like you to do right now is acknowledge that. That's the first and perhaps most important step, Is acknowledging it. And you can acknowledge it by seeing it in your mind's eye and also by feeling it with your heart. It's okay to actually let yourself just feel any of the discomfort or pain or avoidance. Anywhere you've had a hard time giving or receiving love, Even when something hurts, There's an almost underlying joy of facing the truth of it after we've been avoiding it. There's a certain kind of freedom in facing the truth. And being willing to accept the challenge of healing and growing. And I'd like you to just ask yourself, Around this topic, From zero to 100, How much of this energy have you been avoiding or unwilling to face? So 100%, You've been totally avoiding it, Running from it, Hiding, Blaming others, Making up stories. Zero, You haven't been avoiding it at all. So zero to 100, How much have you been avoiding some of this deficiency in your heart? And as you get a sense of that number, Can you make a commitment sitting here in meditation that part of your growth here will be not avoiding any of these deficient energies? And recognize that this is a very important part of your growth. To acknowledge these places in yourself. And to take it a step further, Let's show these energies what compassion looks like. Part of the lover energy is really expressing compassion. Can you express some compassion towards yourself? So imagine if you flashlight of your heart, Just put a light on whatever this energy is. And as a light touches this energy, There's this warm compassion towards it that comes from your heart. And part of compassion is acceptance. Can you let any judgment around this topic begin to melt off? Any judgment that says I should have solved it sooner or I'm not as far along as I should be or I'm not good enough because I have this. As you shine the light of your heart onto this energy, Can you show it compassion and acceptance? As you do that, Can you actually draw this energy back into your heart and reintegrate it into who you are? So if there's part of yourself you didn't like and you kind of pushed it away, Created some kind of division in who you are, Can you allow yourself to recognize that this is part of you? Bring it back in so it can heal in your heart. For example, If there's pain around not receiving enough love, Instead of pushing that away, Can you bring it closer and give it love? If there's a feeling of I'm not good enough, Instead of pushing it away, Can you draw it closer and give it love? Notice that you don't have to solve anything or figure anything out. You're just bringing it in and experiencing a sense of self-acceptance. What does that feel like to you? To truly accept this part of who you are in your experience of life, Even if there's some pain, And just integrate it. Make sure you're still breathing, Your body's relaxed, And feel that lover energy start to come back into balance as you bring the pieces that maybe you've rejected in yourself or you felt others rejected in you back into who you are. Embracing any sensitivity, Embracing what you truly care about, Who you really are, Without having to apologize or make excuses. To be in the lover energy is to be full, To be authentic, To live with an open heart. So open that heart as you feel comfortable with it. Take your time. Go ahead and take a deep breath in, An easy, Soft sigh out. And when you're ready, You can stretch, Open your eyes. Thank you for sitting with me. In such a deep meditation, And I'll see you in the other lover meditations. Wish you the best.

Reviews

Thank you so much for this series, they've been so helpful 🙏💖

It’s great you ask us to accept, a xx small step first. Thank you 🙏 xx

This is just what I needed. I will definitely be returning to this meditation.
Thank you for sharing. 🙏🏻

Thank you so much 🙏

thanks, David . If possible, please use a lower tone be on your meditations 🔔 namaste 🙏