What Is Underneath Your Jealously?

In this session we begin with a present state awareness mindfulness practice. We end with a contemplation of the question “What is underneath your jealously?” This track was taken from the course ‘Hunt Your Own Shadow’, available now via my profile on Insight Timer.

Transcript

Hello, And welcome to another session, I invite you to take a seat, Or lay down and get yourself comfortable. You can close down the eyes if you wish, And take a deep, Slow breath in through the nose and out through the mouth. As we enter this session, I just want you to draw your attention to what you can hear. Notice any sounds that are arising, Any birds, Any conversations, Perhaps sounds of traffic, Or electronic devices giving a small hum, Maybe sounds from your body, Just notice these sounds, And just watch as they arise of their own accord, Stick around for a little bit, And then fall away, Now turn your attention to the physical sensations in your body, Notice the feeling of the floor, Or your chair, The sensations of your clothes upon your skin, Feelings of warmth, Or coolness, Or wind, Notice the changing sensations at your hands and at your feet, Notice how these sensations also appear of their own accord, Stick around for a little bit, And then leave, And without changing its flow, Turn your attention towards the sensation of the breath, Wherever it's most apparent, Just notice how the breath arises from nothingness, It grows, It pauses, And then it falls away, Back into that nothingness, Just to come back again, And in the same way, Turn your attention towards your thoughts, Just notice how thoughts arise, They stick around for a little bit, And then they fall away, You are not responsible for them, You didn't choose for them to come or to go, It just happens, Now in a moment, I'm going to ask you a question twice, And for the next 10 minutes or so, I just want you to sit in open contemplation of this question, Allow the thoughts to arise without conflict, Without pressure, Without directing them in any way, Without judgment, We want to approach this question from a place of suppleness, Flexibility, And freedom, Drawing upon strength, And guidance, And wisdom, From wherever it is you draw your guidance from, Just approaching these questions with an openness, And an invitation to learn, And grow, And discover, And shine light upon our shadow, This is the question, What lies underneath your jealousy, What lies underneath your jealousy, So this question, What lies underneath your jealousy, Asks us to dig a little bit deeper, Into a strong emotion that we've all felt, And we're going to dig into jealousy specifically in this session, But I just want you to hold in mind the idea that you could dig similarly into any complex, Strong, Responsive emotion, Anger, Fear, Lust, Greed, Grief, Anything that grabs you, And holds on to you, And causes you to want to move and act without thought, If you notice this happening, Take a breath, And just turn the lens of attention inwards, And look a little bit deeper, And ask yourself, What lies underneath, So if we ask ourselves, What lies underneath jealousy, We're looking to investigate the cause of our jealousy, What is it that is causing these feelings to arise, What are these feelings, Where do the feelings of jealousy arise in the body, Might feel a little bit like restriction, Like tension, Pressure, Or a weight, Like a burning desire, A feeling of wrongness, An ego cut, Anger at the supposed incorrect state of the world, It's unfair, Why do they have that and I don't, Why don't they like me, I should have gotten this, It's unfair, These statements point us towards a deeper truth, It's a fear of missing out, A fear that it's not good enough, Fear that no matter how much we've done or accomplished, We haven't got it, We won't get it, Someone else has something that we don't have, It's almost as if the universe, That God, That nature, That people, That whatever external force is laughing at us and putting us down, What memories is this bringing up for you, Perhaps an instance in school, With a sibling or parent, Can you turn the attention of your awareness to the past and see the earliest instance of an unfair event happening, Where someone got something that you didn't get, Where you felt slighted, Jaded, Overlooked, Perhaps even abused, And just sit with that, Now I want you to imagine that you can go back and comfort that person, Give them the words that you wish someone had have spoken to you at the time, Hug that person, What would you say to them, What would you give them, Now yes your default or quick response might be to make it fair or give them the thing, But ultimately we're aware that inherently life isn't fair, People are born with privilege, Be it familiar wealth, Certain demographics, Health, Location, Genetics, Opportunity, Life isn't fair and it's not reasonable or even really helpful to try and rectify every wrong, If you could be the parent of that person that was jaded or slighted, That's feeling that tremendous jealousy for someone else or something else, What piece of wisdom would you offer that person and how would you deliver it with kindness and compassion so it would be accepted and understood and integrated, Take a slow calm breath in through the nose and out through the mouth and just gently sit and offer that guidance delivered with loving compassion to that version of your past self, Just listen to the response that they offer back, Just sit and accept what it needs to tell you and comfort that space and place and let it know that you've got its back, That although life isn't fair, That you're doing what you can to rectify the problems, To heal, To grow, To recover, To move on, To not only survive but thrive, Embody your full and total potential, Underneath our jealousies, Often a fear of missing out, But just as life isn't fair, Life is also finite, Both in terms of time and resources, No matter who you are and whatever privilege you've got, You only have a finite amount of time, We are finite beings with potentially infinite desires and unless we work on curtailing those desires, Those desires will forever cause us duress, Will forever cause us suffering, Will forever cause us feelings of jealousy and resentment and all of these other things, So one of the antidotes to jealousy is an acceptance that yeah, There are some things I won't get and that's okay, But conversely I've also got these other things, Perhaps if this session is resonating, Potentially a gratitude practice might be in order, Saying to yourself, Okay I'm grateful for the health that I have, That my family has, I'm grateful for the food that I have access to, I'm grateful for these things and these opportunities that I have access to, Because if we take a quick look around the world, We start to see that although we may want more and may need more, If you have the technology and the capacity to be listening to this, You have a lot to be grateful for, And that's not meant as a form of shame or blame or anything like that, Because once again, Everyone, No matter where they are, Inherently desires more, Inherently is jealous of other people who have more, Unless they work on it, It's a function of human nature, It's evolutionary, We evolved to always be pursuing more to survive, But a gratitude practice both that acknowledges and appreciates the good that we have and potentially turns that acknowledgement to the future, You know, Let's give thanks in advance for the wonderful things that are going to happen, This sort of practice helps us to just sit with a little bit of contentment, If jealousy or any other extreme emotionality grabs our attention, So I ask you to sit in contemplation once more on the question of what is underneath your jealousy, What is underneath your jealousy, So well done, This brings us to the end of the session, At the bottom of your screen you'll see the option to view the classroom or to ask a question, And before moving on, I invite you to take a moment to click through and share your insights, To read the answers from the other students and to hear my replies, This is an opportunity for deep learning, Further introspection and insight, So please don't miss out, I look forward to seeing you in the next session, Thank you. This track was taken from the course Hunt Your Own Shadow, It's out now and available through my Insight Timer profile, I invite you to check it out and I'll see you there.