What Are You Most Afraid Of?

In this session we begin with breathwork and a discussion around mind-body connection. We end with a contemplation of the question "What are you most afraid of?" Remember to share your thoughts and ask any questions in the classroom.

Transcript

Hello, And welcome to the session. I invite you to take a seat or lay down and get yourself comfortable. You can close down the eyes if you wish, And take a deep, Slow breath in through the nose and out through the mouth. And what I invite you to do is to continue taking deep and slow breaths in through the nose and out through the mouth, But just a little bit slower than you usually would. The mind and the body are intimately connected, And if your body is tense, And you're breathing fast, And your heartbeat is pumping away, That sends a signal to your brain, Those physical sensations send a signal to your brain that something's wrong, That you're stressed. But by slowing down the breath, We are able to send the signal to the brain that things are fine, That we're safe. You don't have to stress too much about a count, We'll get into that in some later sessions perhaps, But just take some slower, Deeper, Calmer breaths. You fill your belly first, Then your chest, And a little bit into your throat, And you hold it gently, And then you release in the reverse order, Throat, Chest, And then belly. And you just continue this process, Breathing slowly, And deeply, And calmly, Not to a place or a space that's overwhelming, But one that just is a little bit slower than your normal. And while you're doing that, If you have the capacity, Just gently release some of the tension in your body, Drop your shoulders, Unclench your jaw, Relax and release your belly. Once again, Just purposely using our body to calm our minds. The body impacts the mind, And the mind impacts the body. So a good way to reduce anxiety, Reduce fear, To promote calmness and clarity and control, Is to impact both, Slow calm breathing, Muscle relaxation, But then also working on the mind. We'll talk in later sessions about different aspects of meditation, But the basic summary is that if you're living in the present moment, If you're here and now, It's very hard to be anxious, Or depressed, Or sort of, You know, Worried, Because this moment, Most of the time, Is fine. As you're continuing those slow calm breaths, And as you're relaxing, I just want you to draw your attention to the sensations that your body is returning. Feel that breath, Feel your muscles in your body, Feel the floor underneath your feet, Or your socks and shoes. And perhaps, If words work for you, You could say to yourself, I am calm, I am at peace, I'm relaxed. Or whatever words work for you in that space. Or perhaps a visualization of your mind, And your body, Just falling into a state of bliss and relaxation, And just sort of, Putting that over your entirety. And in this way, Practicing mindful focus, Practicing positive affirmations or visualizations, Alongside muscle relaxation and breathing, We're implementing an approach that can operate on both the mind and the body. This can be done as a formal practice, But it can also be done as an intervention, If you notice yourself feeling tense. So I encourage you to hold on to that practice, Particularly as we go into this topic, We're going to be looking at fear. And in a moment, I'm going to ask you a question, And we're going to be delving into this space, But nonetheless, I want you to open your mind up to depth, To possibility, To potential. To approach the question with a supple mind, One that doesn't shy away from whatever arises, One that allows whatever is unfolding, To unfold. So in a moment I'm going to ask you a question twice, And then we're going to sit in contemplation of that question. And this is the question. What are you most afraid of? What are you most afraid of? So, Obviously this question, What are you most afraid of, Is unique to you. And you know, My fears will not be the same as your fears. So, Although I might touch upon and share my own, Really it's the act of contemplation and you know, Answering the question itself that provides the value here. What does it mean if we can truly understand our deepest fears? It means that we're getting closer to our values. It means we know what we have, And we know what we stand to lose. It's sort of like a reverse gratitude practice. What are you most afraid of? Well, If you're most afraid of getting sick, Getting injured, That points to something. Now no answers here are good or bad. Maybe you're most afraid of not being recognised. Maybe it's the health and happiness of a child. Maybe it's some existential global crisis. But what the contemplation of our fear does is that it allows us to really sort of see, Yeah, The mirror, The reverse image of our values. I'll talk in later sessions about, You know, Pursuing your values, Living your highest goals and this sort of stuff. But it also helps to know what we want to sort of move away from or what we don't want to have. What's at our core? What are we afraid of? Because if we know those deepest things that can help point us towards our truth, Because some people sometimes find it hard to know where they're heading. And at least in my experience, Knowing what I didn't want to experience again was the first steps that it took to help me to find what I wanted to be experiencing. I was running away before I started running towards. You don't want to stay running away, But you still want to know what you want to avoid. It's a level of self-awareness here. What are you afraid of? What are you most afraid of? This question, This concept, This sort of turning inwards on fear can be quite confronting. You know, There's that old Winston Churchill quote during World War II of, The thing we have to fear is fear itself, Something like that. Which is kind of funny because, You know, There was legitimate reason to fear. But he's speaking to a deeper truth here. There's a concept, I'll talk about this in other sessions, Of two arrows. Life shoots you with the first arrow and you feel pain. But it's the second arrow that we shoot ourselves with that gives us the most pain. We cripple ourselves with our fear of being afraid, With our extra judgments, With our, You know, Internal narratives that we put upon the world. That we put upon what might happen and, You know, In terms of injury, It's like the injury hurts us. But our fear about it continuing hurts us more. Are we afraid of someone leaving us? Perhaps. But it's that fear that can cripple us because it may stop us from acting or living our life when nothing we can do in that moment can actually impact the person leaving us, As an example. What are you afraid of most? That's really digging deep and it also points to the past. A lot of shadow work is inner child work, Is, You know, A variety of different therapies. It's all, You know, It's all window dressing for the same. It's all like a, Uh, Different words to describe the same techniques and processes. Call it shadow work, Call it inner child work, Call it a different modality of therapy. It's all the same, In a sense. But what it all points to is a pointing to memories from the past. I invite you, If you are willing, To just contemplate for the next few moments where that fear came from. What are you most afraid of? Whatever answer arises, I invite you for the next minute to just sit and sort of contemplate back, You know, Where did this first arise? Maybe a early adulthood memory pops up. If that's the earliest memory, Great. But if you can go back further to teenagerhood or childhood, Push it all the way back to early childhood, As far as possible. Whatever the earliest memory of this fear being evoked in you comes. And just sit with that memory for a little bit. Sit with that part of you for a little bit. And just offer that part of you comfort, Love, And a listening ear. So let's just sit in that space and see if we can find the origins of what we're most afraid of. So, Perhaps you've found the origin, Or at least the closest origin point that you have access to in terms of that fear. This is an activity you can come back to at any time. But what I hope to suggest that you can do with this is, If you discover this point, This earliest memory of fear, From your adult, Grown-up, Knowledgeable, Wise, And safe position, Offer that part of you love, Connection, A voice. Offer it guidance. Be the parent you needed in that moment. And invite that part of you to relax, To let go. Maybe that part of you is sitting somewhere physically in you. If you notice that, Tap into that part of your body, Maybe lay a loving hand upon that part of your body, And invite it to let go and release, And integrate. Because, Perhaps, That will get you a step closer to healing. This isn't to say that the fear will just drop away. But perhaps you can approach the challenges that that fear arises, That that fear evokes, From a wiser, Deeper, More detached, And more just whole perspective. So I invite you to sit in this space for another minute, Just asking yourself, What are you most afraid of? And casting our minds back, And offering love, Connection, And a voice to the part of ourselves that arises, The earliest part of ourselves. And just welcoming that part of ourselves to speak, And offering it a place of love and connection, To perhaps start integrating and reintegrating that part of ourselves back into ourselves. So I ask you to contemplate, What are you most afraid of? What are you most afraid of? So, Well done. This brings us to the end of the session. At the bottom of your screen, You'll see the option to view the classroom, Or to ask a question. And before moving on, I invite you to take a moment to click through and share your insights, To read the answers from the other students, And to hear my replies. This is an opportunity for deep learning, Further introspection, And insight. So please don't miss out. I look forward to seeing you in the next session. Thank you. This track was taken from the course Hunt Your Own Shadow. It's out now, And available through my InsightTimer profile. I invite you to check it out, And I'll see you there.