Learning To Forgive Myself

We can carry around a lot of blame, self-judgment, and criticism like we are covered in many wounds. We may speak to ourselves without kindness. In this practice we open our hearts to allow whatever we feel, noticing that we so often make ourselves wrong. We feel a judgment and the absence of judgment and give ourselves the freedom just to let it go. You can claim that power. My respect to Matt Kahn for inspiration. Photo by Max Felner on Unsplash

Transcript

All right let's find ourselves somewhere comfortable. If we can plant our feet let's do that otherwise our legs are heavy and stable still and comfortable. Let's let our spine expand a little bit, Grow a little bit taller so we've plenty of room for our breath an hour and turn the organs. We'll let the chest fill and then when we're ready to exhale next we're going to soften into our seat a little bit. Relax our shoulders, The muscles in our face, Our neck and so we find somewhere our body can be comfortable and still for a little while. And we'll take a few deeper breaths as we take our attention inwards. And mind with our breath and our body as best we can. Let's relax our body a little more. So we're having a wave of relaxation to flow from our crown over our temples and our forehead muscles around our eyes and our scalp. Flowing down each little muscles softening and relaxing. Jaw releasing our ears, Our neck. Let's see if we can balance it on the top of our spine so it's all in neutral. Shoulders away from the ears. Relaxation flowing down and folding our body. Our arms coming to rest. Chest and our upper back falling into a neutral comfortable place. Muscles releasing. Lower back somewhere it can be at ease. Barely soft, Relaxed. Hips, Pelvis, Pelvic floor releasing, Softening into the space beneath us to our chair or the floor. Our legs and knees somewhere they can be at ease in neutral. Ankles, Feet in each little toe, Softer. If there's physical discomfort it's difficult, It's difficult to relax. Let's see if we can allow that discomfort to be there and see if we can separate the raw data, Pain signals from our interpretation of them. Noticing that we interpret and we can blow things up. Worry they'll get worse in the future. If that's a pain can it be just pain? Yes that's there. We'll use the same approach with our emotions and with our thoughts. Let's find our breath once again. Now the body's a little more comfortable and still and relaxed. Follow the breath with our mind as best we can. Natural comfortable breath. As the chest moves we're going to imagine that massaging, Awakening our heart space. Imagine that any way you want. The breath stimulating the heart chakra. Dusting it off. Dusting it off. When we breathe out let's imagine a cleansing, Clearing all the dust and cobwebs leaving any way we like. Unlocking, Opening. Breathing in, Energizing, Enlarging, Awakening. Breathing in, Energizing, Enlarging. And we do this so we can be honest with ourselves, With compassion. Our love and our compassion for ourselves is big enough to hold whatever, To hold whatever. So I invite you to bring to mind, To recall a time when we've judged ourselves. Maybe that's now, Maybe it's in the past. Time we felt in a way that we didn't like, Wanted it gone, Didn't want to look at, Didn't want to be and we'll use that to practice on. So it doesn't matter too much the example, Whatever pops into the mind because in an ideal situation we'll do this real time. So today's a practice. So feeling that difficulty, Honestly, Courageously. Can we allow that to be because our tendency is to make it wrong? Can it be okay to feel that way? Feel that feeling, That uncomfortable feeling, As if for the first time not the many times we may have felt it in the past, The baggage that goes with it, The history. Are we able to leave that in the past and feel it afresh? This is how I feel. Our heart, Can we sit in the space of our heart and observe the feeling? Maybe we put an armchair in our loving centre, With this huge loving heart. And tell ourselves it's okay to feel whatever we feel. If it's difficult to do that, We can work with that. It's okay for it to be difficult. It's okay that it's difficult to hold that feeling because it's not perhaps a normal way of doing things. But if we can get a sense of doing that, How does it feel? We can be the loving parent, Higher self, When it tells us it's okay, You're doing fine. This feeling is difficult and you're doing great. It's okay for it to be here for a little while. And we'll pass like the weather. We don't make it wrong. We don't push it away. We make space. This is how emptiness, Unhappiness feels or whatever it is for you. Yes we criticized ourselves. Oh yes we didn't want, We hid, We treated someone badly, Yes yes yes. Uncomfortable, Yes it's uncomfortable. But if we can surround that with love, Compassion. We're not saying what happened is okay, We're saying we are okay. We can still be a good person. We can still make good choices. Bravely owning that part of our self. Yes I did that. Sometimes I make mistakes, Yes. And we can bring logic to bear if that helps. On that day, Maybe today, Maybe a past day, I did my best. If I'd had a better way of dealing with it I would have used it. It's just another way of saying it's okay. I am still okay. I'm still a good person and I can still make the choices that I would like to make even if I made poor ones in the past. Holding it all in your heart. Let's feel allowing ourselves to be imperfect. And allowing it over and over again. It may not be our natural way of being so we may have to remind ourselves over and over. It's okay. I forgive myself. When I forgive myself. When I forgive myself. Give yourself the freedom. Try offering yourself the freedom to let it go. That is a freedom and each time we remember to offer ourselves this freedom it's like we're healing a little wound. Imagine all those bruises from hurts we still have one by one. They're disappearing. Moment by moment. Healing. Healing another little source of pain. Resting for a moment with the breath and the heart. With freedom. Generosity for ourselves. I forgive myself. I forgive myself. I forgive myself. I let it go. I let it go. I let it go. When we speak to ourselves harshly, Judge ourselves, Criticize ourselves, Maybe you can look at it from the perspective of the wounds of our collective past. Humanities, Hurts, Wounds but also our desire to be better because that's powerful that at root those criticisms come from a place of wanting to do better. So let's see if we can release the harshness and go straight to the better. Because when we can speak to ourselves with kindness, Sweetly, It's bringing a little more kindness and sweetness into the whole world. You may start with me. You might start with me. A few more breaths. Kind, Sweet breaths. A few more breaths. And we'll start to return to our waking state. Taking one or two kind, Sweet breaths, Allowing them to energize our body. Bring movement slowly into the body, There's no hurry. Having a little stretch, Whatever feels right for you. And slowly returning to the external world, Hopefully with more love for ourselves and the rest of the world. Thank you for practicing with me.