A warm welcome to day five of this seven day compassion challenge.
I hope you are getting a sense that far from soft and easy,
Real compassion involves a level of groundedness and resilience.
To be able to hold our own vulnerabilities and the challenges of others in our hearts without feeling knocked about or overwhelmed.
Is indeed a practice that requires courage and a regulated nervous system.
Today's practice is an invitation to extend compassion to others,
Including those we often compare ourselves to.
So in your own time and in your own way,
Closing down your eyes and settling in.
And enjoying three deep and compassionate breaths.
Each breath softening your body.
Whispering to your nervous system that it's okay to relax.
And now thinking of someone you often compare yourself to.
Perhaps it's a friend whose marriage is strong.
Colleague who is receiving more recognition.
A friend who has more holidays than you.
Trust whoever emerges and over the next few rounds of breath.
Picturing the clothes they wear,
The things they say and do.
Without judgment or criticism.
Recall all the stories you create in relation to this person.
And offer yourself a smile as you do.
Now imagining that this person is sitting next to you.
Side by side.
Sensing into both your beating hearts.
Looking up at the sky above you both.
And imagining that all the comparisons.
All the stories you make about this person in relationship to you.
Are like clouds moving across the sky.
You don't need to get rid of them.
You don't need to go to war with them.
But here in this moment,
You can create a sense of spaciousness between you and all these stories.
And as you create this space.
As you connect with both your beating hearts.
You can see that the sky is smiling at you both.
This sense of warmth and possibility shines down on the two of you.
It helps you see that within both of your hearts is a deep desire to be seen.
Heard,
Recognized and loved.
You and you repeat silently in your mind,
I let go of all the stories.
And instead I acknowledge you.
And in this moment as you sit side by side.
It feels easy to remind yourself that this person simply by being human,
Will experience both joy and sorrow in their lives.
They will go through periods of self-doubt.
Insecurity.
Disappointment,
Regret and grief.
They will also experience times of great happiness and success.
You Repeating silently in your mind.
May you face your challenges with an open heart.
May you enjoy the good times.
I wish you well.
Noticing any feeling of expansion or relaxation within your body,
Mind or heart.
You Taking a nice deep breath.
In your own time,
Transitioning to the writing element of our practice together today.
Beginning by thinking of someone who you often compare yourself to.
Maybe these comparisons are really obvious as you say things to yourself like,
I wish I was more like they are.
Or maybe the comparisons are more subtle.
And even snaky.
As you say things to yourself like.
.
.
Yeah,
But life is easier for them.
Or they always land on their feet.
And now here in this moment,
Can you open to the possibility that these comparisons have more to do with you than the other person?
And that within the comparison is a nugget of wisdom for you.
For example,
If you are comparing yourself to someone in the context of their relationships,
Perhaps they are still married or they get on well with their adult children.
What can this reveal to you about your own deep needs?
Spend a few minutes now writing about these comparisons and the yearning that sits underneath.
Trust yourself here.
Great work.
Now from this place of greater awareness,
Spend some time brainstorming about how you could meet this need in healthy and creative ways.
Now let's identify someone else that you compare yourself to.
But this time see if you can reflect upon your relationship with this person from the lens of shared humanity.
The idea that you will both have joys and challenges in your lives.
The possibility that you both yearn to feel seen and heard.
How could you let this person know how you feel but from a position of love and respect for you both?
Well done.
It takes real courage to identify and soften our habits of comparison.
But when we do,
We are more able to forge deeper connections with family,
Friends,
Colleagues and even strangers.
See you tomorrow.
