The Me Who Made It Through (Giving Yourself Credit)

So there's something about the experiences.

That we've gone through.

That were difficult.

The tough times,

The adversity,

Right?

And there is something about.

The Human Condition.

The way the brain is wired.

That it's not the default mode of the brain.

To actually Give us the credit.

For some of the qualities that we've actually shown,

The personal qualities that we've shown when we've gone through a tough time.

So it's not the default mode of the mind for that.

It doesn't mean we can't do it.

It means that.

We need to intentionally do it.

And that's why we have practices,

Right?

Just like on here.

For a whole range of things,

Intention setting,

Gratitude,

Self-compassion,

Self-kindness.

It's not the default mode of the mind for any of those things.

We have to intentionally do it.

So one thing I want to say to you is that You have been through tough times.

And yes,

The mind would probably prefer to compare to other people who have been through worse.

They've got it worse.

These people have got it worse.

Those people have got it worse.

Right?

That's just classic minding.

That's what the mind does,

Right?

What's it like?

To recognise that you too have been through tough times.

And You made it.

You got to the other side.

You had the capacity to get through this.

Whatever it was.

You got through it.

You pulled through.

What's it like to just gently recognise that?

It can be difficult,

Like I said,

Because it's not the default mode of the mind to do that.

But this would have been something that occurred in your life that at the time seemed out of your control.

And despite this,

You took one foot in front of the other.

Right?

Just like wading through a swamp to get to the other side.

What did you need to make it?

To the other side.

What did it take to do this?

There may have been times when.

.

.

You reached for your spirituality,

If you will.

If you're a spiritual person or There may have been times when you listened to your heart.

And there may have been other or there would have been other times right where you had to make space for.

Difficult thoughts and feelings that contradicted what your heart felt.

Said.

And then you could just feel caught up in a sense of confusion,

Right?

And maybe you stopped wading through the swamp.

Maybe you stopped to get the well-deserved rest that your body needed.

And as a result of that,

You got that rest,

But maybe,

Maybe you stopped because you just gave up.

You gave up,

And then your mind gives you the narrative,

Oh,

You just gave up.

Of course you weren't there for yourself.

Of course you didn't show any qualities.

You gave up and somebody else had to help you that day.

It's really hard being human.

And when we're going through tough times.

As if it's not bad enough to go through tough times,

The mind comes in and gives us judgments and evaluations that are really unhelpful like that,

Right?

So maybe you stop waiting for a while.

And sometimes it would have seemed like a tug of war between Moving forward just a little bit and then backwards again.

Forwards and then backwards.

And even though.

.

.

Even though you struggled at those times and it seemed foggy or confusing in your mind,

Every now and again there would have been little moments of clarity.

Where you helped yourself pull through.

Because despite what the mind thinks.

May give you credit for because you were there for you.

You were there for you.

And sometimes in the midst of that storm.

In those little moments,

You know,

Those little.

Moments,

Little glimmers,

That would have been there would have been times when you experienced.

Micro moments of meaningful connection.

Like,

My cat was here just a few moments ago and it's gone.

Typical Kim Chi.

Little moments,

Little moments like that,

Right?

For those people that are cat people.

Where you just have a moment and you're like,

I'm so grateful for this.

So grateful for kimchi and rub.

Put my face up to her face and she.

.

.

Unfortunately moves away and I'm like,

Oh,

You're such a cat.

Please.

See there?

No.

These are important,

These little glimmers,

We can call them glimmers,

Right?

They're important for recognizing,

Hey,

I'm really going through a tough time,

What are the little glimmers?

That I can gently hold on to that keep me.

Taking one foot in front of the other.

Little glimmers of meaningful connection.

But anyway.

Let's come back to this very simple message.

Cause deep down.

.

.

Your experience of what you've been through will tell you that in any periods of darkness that you've experienced,

You have had the capacity to wade through the swamp to get to the other side.

Yes,

There were times when you gave up.

Yes,

Let's just recognize that because I get it as soon as soon as something like that's mentioned the mind will go.

Oh,

Yeah,

But no because you gave up so Right.

Recognize that we disconnect so that we can reconnect again.

It's one of my favorite sayings in my live events.

Right.

When we can open up to the difficult.

We give ourselves permission to be okay with not being okay.

To be okay with not being okay.

And then it gets easier to experience those little glimmers.

It can be very powerful to ask ourselves,

Can I be okay with not being okay?

Today,

Can I be okay with not being okay?

Because if the answer is yes,

Then you're right.

You've lightened the load a little bit.

So.

.

.

Yeah i just wanted to give you that recognizing that you know what you pulled through.

You made it,

You got to the other side,

You had the capacity to get through this,

Even though your mind won't necessarily give you credit,

Some of the qualities that you've shown.

Whatever they might be,

Strings.

Compassion,

Kindness,

Connection.

Perseverance,

Resilience,

Whatever words kind of sit with you.

You made it.

You got to the other side.

Give yourself.

That credit.

Yeah,

Give yourself that credit.

Give yourself that credit,

You deserve it.

I hope these words are helpful for you.

And Hold yourself lightly.

Take care.