For Parents: Mindfulness (Our Inner World First)

Hey parents,

My name's Reuben and there's no rule book,

Is there?

There's no rule book for how to bring up kids.

Anyway,

I just wanted to talk to you very briefly about some science in terms of mindfulness.

So obviously there's mindfulness of the external world,

Right?

We hear a lot about that,

There's loads of books on that,

But this is about mindfulness of our inner world.

This is where we can really make big shifts in who we want to be and how we might want to show up when times are tough,

For instance,

Right?

So your inner state,

Your inner world is so important.

It's actually contagious to your little one.

So when you are reactive,

Their nervous system will mirror exactly that,

Right?

You're reactive and their nervous system's going to fire up in a way where they go into protection mode.

This is not a parenting failure.

We all do it.

We all do it.

We,

Myself included.

And then my mind comes in and gives me a hard time about it,

Right?

But this really is about recognizing that we do screw up,

But by having a resolve afterwards when your little one is more regulated and you are more regulated when you're having a moment where you can connect and having that resolve where you say,

Hey,

Look,

I said this and I'm sorry that I said that.

Is there any,

What did you feel at the time?

What are you feeling now as I'm speaking to you now?

Are you comfortable or are you a bit uncomfortable?

And just getting to know and just having that resolve and seeing them,

Meeting them where they're at is so powerful.

In fact,

Kids need to see us lose it so that we can then resolve it because that gives them information about what life is like and what life will be like for them in their adult,

In their adulthood,

Right?

So yeah.

Anyway,

I hope that this helps you.

By you having a mindfulness practice,

It will lower your reactivity.

It will help improve your thinking right under pressure.

And the most powerful part of this is that having a mindfulness practice interrupts the stress passing from generation to generation.

So generational trauma.

The more you take care of your inner world,

The more you recognize your tendency to react,

You are actually by not reacting when you can,

In the moments that you can,

In the moments where you can regulate and having a formal practice,

Like what I mean is a mindfulness practice,

You know,

Maybe a daily one.

And this is hugely impactful,

Hugely impactful.

And it means that your kids are going to have less of what you experienced in terms of reactivity with your parents.

So it's an incredible thing to do.

You've got this.

Just recognize there's no rule book.

We all slip up.

We all make mistakes.

It's hard.

But you being here,

Drawing on these resources here on Insight Timer,

Having a practice is doing more than we can even really fathom.

It really is.

Anyway,

I hope this video has been helpful.

You take care.