Sacred Eros 4

Why should an emotionally wounded woman continue being romantic and loving? How to continue receiving the feminine gift? In this lecture, we’ll aim to understand the process and become able to create a relationship that integrates sacred tantric eroticism.

Transcript

If you kiss and think of something else,

You do your move mechanically and you are not there.

You hinder the process of her giving the gift.

What happens is that the woman will get wounded.

And there are very few women that reach the age of 30 without being wounded.

Very,

Very few.

Because the guys,

Us men,

Poor men,

We don't get it.

We don't understand what's actually happening.

And therefore,

We are present and loving to press the buttons to get it started.

How do I start this thing to get the gift like last time?

Like the rat in the cage that presses and gets an orgasm.

Something there.

And we think,

Oh,

It's my pleasure that I get.

No,

It's not your pleasure.

It's something immense.

Something cosmic is happening.

Wake up.

So we try to do that and then when she starts the process,

We say,

Okay,

Now I can rest.

Minimum effort.

Being with my heart open,

Being intimate,

Being caring.

Half of that.

I had a long day at work.

Now just let me sit here and take it.

Give me,

Give me,

Give me.

And every time we do that,

The woman gets wounded.

And then after a while,

We look at her and she's not so interesting.

She didn't give me a gift for a while.

I should get another one.

Maybe a different hair color.

Different hair color.

Another one.

This one is something.

It's broken.

It's not working.

And in this very heartless way,

In an ignorant way,

Even guys who are very good and very kind,

They don't get it.

And the masculine tendency is to get lazy and not to stay with this,

What we call a transfigured state in which we see the divine and the feminine.

So this state of being truly romantic,

Truly intimate and having your heart open through the process,

That needs to follow through continuously while she's in the process.

And the idea is every time you start to flirt with a woman,

You give one kiss,

The process starts.

And if you are not present and responsible for the process and you are in,

Out,

In,

Out,

Heart open,

Heart closed,

There,

Attraction,

No attraction,

The woman will get wounded.

And if you are not willing to assume responsibility and you just want to snatch something,

Don't go there.

Don't smile to that woman.

Don't kiss her.

Don't do anything.

So if you understand this mechanism and you are at least a responsible human being with some common sense,

With some care,

You will just not enter.

If you are not willing to assume full responsibility on the process.

If you don't want to take the entirety of the woman in.

There is something with a masculine tendency that says,

Well,

I just want that part and that part.

The rest?

Oh,

I'm not yet so sure.

I want to think about that too.

I'm not so sure if I want the rest of you.

Why don't you spend the rest of the time with your friends?

Come to me,

Give the gift and please,

I'm a busy man.

It's like you want to jump in the water and you only want your knee,

Your elbow and your liver in the water.

It doesn't work.

If you don't want to jump in the water,

Don't jump in the water.

If you want to jump in the water,

All of you will get wet from all of the water.

That's that.

And if you don't have this willingness for a total engagement,

For a total commitment,

For a total embrace,

You will create pain for yourself and for her.

Now men in this way,

They get the partial gift.

If you are staying very present throughout the whole process of the woman giving the gift,

You are present,

Loving,

You are there.

Every kiss,

You are there.

Every embrace,

Every penetration,

You are a hundred percent there with your heart.

She gives you the full gift.

You are in ecstasy.

You are healed.

You become less selfish,

More heart open and eventually your whole baggage of suffering,

Of ignorance is reduced.

You grow spiritually very fast like that.

This is the receiving the full gift of the feminine,

Both for the man and for the woman.

If it is a half process in which the man starts nicely the process with some very sweet sentences or very sweet moves and he's very,

Very present in the first kissing and the first hand holding and so forth and then he loses it and everything becomes mechanic.

I touched you like this yesterday.

It was fine.

You gave me the gift and now you don't.

In such situations where the man loses his presence,

Loses his heart,

The woman would give him a half gift,

An incomplete gift,

Half baked,

Half cooked,

Not ready.

That gives the guy something that looks nice but is actually quite poisonous.

It gives the guy pride.

It gives the guy some kind of pain killer,

Some kind of momentary relaxation.

It relaxes some kind of agitation but in an ejaculatory way.

That's kind of all you get and that becomes addictive.

It makes the man weak and dependent and it reduces very much the virility,

The masculine strength of the guy if he's just taking that.

You can see men that womenize,

Womenize,

Womenize,

Womenize,

You feel the weakness in them.

There is such a wish for constant validation because inside is empty because they never get the full gift.

They only get the half gift because they never assume responsibility to create this environment.

This process or understanding this process fully as a man will allow you,

If you understand what we say here and you are up for it,

Will allow you to practice the state of presence of self-giving,

Of being without an agenda,

Long enough,

Loving enough so you can receive the gift every time and your woman can receive the gift.

You can create a true erotic relationship in which the best love making in your life will just be the beginning.

There is no move with the tongue or a move with the finger or a position.

All that is irrelevant,

Is completely secondary.

Everything is about this,

Is about the man creating this super loving,

Super present,

Agenda free ambience from the man's side and then allowing the woman to give her gift.

If in the process when the man is very loving and very kind and so forth,

The woman has to lie there and cry 10 times because she has so much wounds,

Then you are a man and you embrace her when she's crying for 10 times or 50 times.

But eventually her wounds will heal from such an environment and she will be able to give you the gift.

Then the best love making of your life will just be the beginning point and you will rise higher and higher and higher and it's not just that you get some pleasure.

You get so profoundly healed and so light and so happy and that happiness silences desires.

When you are erotically happy,

You don't need biscuits or chocolates or Netflix or any kind of agitation.

You are just living in a self-content bliss of your own existence.

You enter such a state of balance once you play the erotic game correctly and it's not so hard to do.

But it means to go against your instincts or not to say yes to your instincts because the masculine instinct will say,

I'm a rest now.

Stop being intimate.

Stop being open.

Close your heart a bit.

Just take some token.

Take some token and get out.

This is the big temptation that we have as men.

If you resist that temptation and you're just firm and you say,

I will stay open to my woman no matter what.

I will stay loving and intimate and fully show myself and fully see her throughout this entire interaction and then throughout the entire relationship because that's that.

It doesn't stop in the bedroom.

You have to be like that.

I will be an exemplary lover for her.

This is the best thing you can do in your life.

All the other things will fall into place if you please her.

Really,

Not the superficial side of her.

If you please the Shakti in her,

The divine mother in her,

If you please that,

The whole universe will be satisfied with you.

In the Tantric text,

There is a quote saying,

A man's greatest happiness or a lover's greatest happiness is the happiness of their lover.

If you make her happy,

It will actually make you more happy than anything else in the world.

This stands moment to moment.

If you kiss and you think about her happiness,

You will be the most happy.

If you kiss and you think,

I want a kiss like this,

I want a kiss like that,

And even if you get that kiss,

It will just be small happiness.

But if when you kiss,

You feel,

How does she want?

What does she want?

Let me feel her heart.

You fulfill that,

Then the fulfillment is far,

Far greater.

This is the essential key as men.

We assume full responsibility on what we are doing and on the process of giving the gift that we have started.

We assume full responsibility on that.

We stay loving and present throughout the entire process,

Maintaining intimacy and kindness,

And we let go completely of our agenda.

It doesn't matter.

When you are erotic,

You can stop at every moment.

Yeah,

Yeah,

Sure,

We stop.

There is no,

It's like writing on water.

It's completely done at any moment.

There is no inertia there because you are free from agenda.

This is the essential feminine gift.