Let's drop into our practice today.
So go ahead and take any movements that are going to be supportive for you to drop into your body.
Maybe there's a stretch,
Maybe there's just some movement,
Some fidgets,
Some itches,
Or scratches I should say.
And then find a supportive posture.
And if you're on a chair,
Feel the feet firmly on the ground,
Flat.
If you're cross-legged,
Just get a sense of one shin over the other.
If you're laying down,
Just letting your body be heavy.
And wherever you are,
Feeling the shoulders above the hips,
Ears above the shoulders in one line.
Let's just begin with a couple cleansing breaths.
So full conscious breath in through the nose,
Filling up the belly,
The ribs,
The chest,
Holding the breath at the top.
Sip in one more sip of air.
Open mouth,
Sigh it out.
One more just like that.
Full breath into the nose,
Fill up the belly,
The ribs,
The chest,
Holding at the top.
One more sip of air.
Open mouth,
Long audible breath out.
And then letting your breath be natural,
Letting your body continue to relax,
Noticing any place you're holding tension,
Inviting a sense of release and softening,
Maybe starting at the forehead,
The muscles around the eyelids,
Jaw,
The cheek.
Letting your shoulders soften down your back.
Relaxing the navel.
See if you can let the awareness of your breath be in your body.
And so maybe you feel the breath at your navel,
Or maybe you feel it in your chest.
Start to notice that gentle rhythm as the body takes air in and expands.
And let's it go.
And invitation to bring a count to your breath if that helps you center.
Maybe it's just one,
Two,
One,
Two.
Maybe you say to yourself,
Breathing in,
I know I breathe in.
Breathing out,
I know I breathe out.
Starting to let go,
Relax each breath.
Maybe beginning to tap into your awareness.
Invite the awareness around what you can hear,
What else is going on around you in this moment.
And the awareness of the thoughts that are coming in and out.
And the moment that you're aware of them,
You're back in it.
And coming back to being aware of what's happening inside of your body.
Just noticing,
Just accounting for all the fidgets,
All the aches,
All the tension.
Bringing this spacious awareness to it.
And then conscious,
Full breath in together.
Letting it go.
So with this awareness,
Keep the awareness as we do this work on our conflict,
Our inner conflict.
So with that,
I invite you to bring that awareness.
Invite in something that stirs conflict within you.
Maybe it's a person,
Maybe it's some event or some experience.
And just notice what that starts to stir up.
And going to the place where you feel okay.
Maybe you don't pick 100 on a scale of 100.
Maybe it's like,
Oh,
Pick like a quarter of that.
So trusting in your own intuition and what you can work with right now.
And so as you bring in this person,
Just notice if there's the part of you that's judging or saying this is not like you or this person's bad or this situation is bad.
And again,
Feel how that shows up.
Feel this conflict arising inside of your body and your being.
And from that open,
Even loving awareness,
Welcome it.
Just welcome it into your experience.
Each breath slowing it down a little bit more.
And maybe you welcome it and stay there.
Maybe you go so far as to feel some of the gratitude that this person in many ways is a teacher,
Is helping you to go inwards.
Notice how that lands if you went there.
And then as you hold this person in your awareness,
Begin to speak to them.
Or just speak as if you were speaking out loud.
And you don't have to speak out loud.
You could,
But just kind of imagine that you were saying the things that are happening within you,
Like the things that you're judging.
You don't deserve this.
You're not doing it right.
You're a bad person.
Just start letting that conflict that's arising within you,
Start to get it out of you through whatever words or whatever expressions that takes.
And maybe there's an anger.
Maybe there's anger that you're connected with and you just let that anger express a little bit.
And maybe you have a pillow and you want to give the pillow a few shots of your anger.
Or maybe just keep speaking.
What are you judging?
What are you not letting be okay?
Imagine that you're sharing this outwards.
And it could be with the person,
But it doesn't have to be.
It could just be you're sharing it.
And stay connected to your body as you speak out,
Share these judgments.
Just let the awareness of that person go,
But hold the awareness of what all the things that you just said,
All the things that were stirred up within you.
And then come into your own experience,
Come back into your body.
And this might land and this might not.
This is the work.
But after you said all those things,
I invite you to gently repeat to yourself,
Just like me.
Just like me.
And maybe you even say a word or say a sentence and say,
Just like me,
You are a selfish person.
Just like me.
And some of you might be having serious resistance to this right now.
And that's perfect.
Welcome that.
Wherever you're at,
Can you just own,
Can you just open to the possibility that you contain multitudes in every positive and negative in this duality that we live in,
That you contain it all.
Can you just open to that?
And seeing even if you don't act on certain things,
Can you just own the darkness,
Own the whatever way that it's polarizing in yourself,
Can you own it and relax into it?
This doesn't mean you're a bad person.
This means you're human.
Breathing into the space,
Welcoming the wholeness of who you are,
Noticing what that does.
And then take a conscious breath in.
And letting all that go.
And staying in your body.
We're not going to do a full exploration of this,
But I wanted to just touch on it because I kind of discussed it in the talking portion of this outer conflict or speaking our truth,
Speaking our needs when it might not agree with someone else.
And so just notice if there's anywhere in your life where you feel like you're not letting yourself use your voice.
Maybe in fear of what others are going to think or feel or say,
Which is inherently a conflict.
Maybe you fear rejection,
Maybe you fear hurting someone.
So feel that energy,
Maybe notice,
Maybe it's in your throat,
Maybe it's somewhere else in your body,
Connect with it,
Connect with what you're holding back.
And see if you can notice the tendency of maybe avoidance or shutting down and just invite that spacious awareness and openness to your body.
And as you invite that relaxation and openness,
Also connect with your strength and your power.
Slow and strong.
And this could be the work right here is just feeling into the habit to close.
And seeing if you can open,
Seeing if you can find your center.
And if you'd like,
You could also,
If you feel ready,
Maybe you imagine that person and maybe you do start speaking this,
The unsaid.
And notice if you start closing down again as you do it,
Seeing if you can stay rooted,
Stay centered,
Stay slow,
Stay connected.
And this is a little bit of a retraining session to do that.
Anytime that you need,
You can come right back here.
Reconnect.
Trying to let your nervous system know that it's safe to speak your truth,
Safe to use your voice.
And I get there could be a lot attached to that,
So I'm not minimizing any of that,
But this is just touching a little bit on this work.
And then with a breath in and out,
Letting that go,
Just starting to come back into your body and maybe invite some movements and any way,
Any kind of takeaway or something that you want to root in from today's practice.
Give yourself a moment to do it now.
Maybe just honoring yourself for doing something that might have felt pretty difficult and welcoming whatever the experience is for you right now.
We're never trying to get anywhere with these practices.
We're just opening and practicing.
Some days,
As you know,
If you are a regular meditator every day,
So much every day can be so different.
And then whenever you feel complete,
You can open your eyes,
Come back into your day.
