The Secret To Happiness

Join Lou as he reflects on the lie of happiness and the trap many fall into. This talk will help you understand how to set goals and find fulfillment in the process. And that leads to disappointment as we think that happiness is the destination. Listen to Lou's encouragements to focus on accessing the present moment, and tapping into authentic creation.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to the Awakening to Purpose podcast.

My name is Lew Redmond,

Meditation artist,

Life coach,

And your soul friend on this wild journey.

Thanks so much for being here.

And today what we're going to be talking about is a trap that many fall into.

So easy to fall into this trap and how to get ourselves out.

And so to begin,

I want to share the script that most of us learned for a good life.

And that is happiness comes after.

Comes after you graduate,

Get married,

Buy a house,

Have kids,

Retire.

And then you arrive.

How has this plan worked for you?

Suffering is trying to get somewhere you will never find.

Future conditions us that happiness is somewhere down the yellow brick road.

Embedded in the US Constitution is the encouragement to pursue happiness.

Yet future happiness is an illusion.

Anytime your happiness depends on an outcome,

You set yourself up for disappointment.

We may know intellectually we don't arrive at happiness,

But putting it into practice is challenging.

The first step is resisting the conditioning of our modern society.

One that tells us to hit goals,

Meet quotas,

And get to the next thing.

These are all outcome focused.

Here's the trap.

When we focus on the outcome,

We fall into the trap of in order to.

We pick a major that pays well in order to make the most money.

We pick a job that looks good on a resume in order to get a better job later on.

We go to said job in order to pay the bills and save up for retirement.

We work out in order to look a certain way.

I see people in my field write a book not because they're passionate about the idea,

But in order to be more credible or charge more for their services.

I'm not judging them.

I'm grieving what could have been.

What if they focused on what was most alive in their heart?

What gift would the world have received?

There's nothing wrong with in order to,

But we're missing the point.

We're missing life.

All wise teachings tell us the presence of God is here in this moment.

As we let ourselves access the presence,

We open ourselves to more potent creativity.

Their book may be good,

But does it have the activation of spirit?

I am guilty of in order to thinking as much as anyone.

For example,

I have an intention to grow my podcast and grow my newsletter readership and sometimes I get caught up in thinking that getting more subscribers will give me something that I don't have.

So it's this tightrope that we must walk to both strive for growth and stay focused on the present.

What we give our attention to,

We energize.

When we do something in order to,

Our energy is split between the moment of creation and our hopes of what it will bring.

Split energy is like having an electric vehicle with the capacity of two batteries,

Yet only using one.

You may get to your destination,

But it requires more energy and you'll end up burning out faster.

What is the antidote to our in order to culture,

To this outcome goal driven society that most of us live in?

The antidote lies in another four syllable phrase,

For its own sake.

Doing something for its own sake brings us back to the joy of right now.

For its own sake puts the second car battery online and that energy gets channeled into this moment,

Opening up space to make subconscious connections and creative breakthroughs.

With more energy channeled,

The seed you are nurturing grows in potential.

You don't know when things will blossom.

The work is in focusing on the process.

Doing so will make you feel more fulfilled and when your gift blossoms,

Others will feel its energy.

As Charles Freelie writes in The Will to Do Nothing,

Authentic creation in whatever form it takes is fully complete in the act itself because it has arisen from the current and it is experienced as beautiful because it reminds the beholder of the current within them.

This quote,

I just want to say it again,

It's so important for what makes people break through in this world,

In this world of creativity,

Of sharing your gifts.

How do you break through?

Is you listen to exactly this line.

Authentic creation in whatever form it takes is fully complete in the act itself because it has arisen from the current and Charles uses the current for spirit and that God energy because it has arisen from the current and is experienced as beautiful because it reminds the beholder of the current within them.

To remind the beholder of the current within them.

This is a journey of remembering.

Charles points to why a song makes chills go up your spine.

There's a resonance of truth that's felt because it comes from a deeper place.

We put ourselves in the way of authentic creation anytime we do something for its own sake.

The act of doing something is the joy of doing something.

Ram Dass said,

Meditation changes your desires in the course of fulfilling them.

The same could be said when we do things for their own sake.

As you bring more presence to your work,

Your desires for the outcome disappears.

The process is fulfilling in itself.

I'm just going to let you back in on what I'm experiencing as I share this with you.

I'm just having fun.

It's about 7,

15 PM and I can feel this energy of just,

Man,

I'm really enjoying just speaking into this mic.

Who knows who's going to listen to it?

But you know what?

This is fun.

So you might ask,

Lou,

What about goals?

Listen,

I'm a life coach.

I'm all about setting goals and having a vision for where myself or a client is going.

But after we have some idea of where we're going,

I want us unattached to the outcome because when we fixate on a goal,

We might miss where life wants to take us.

In the process,

I help people see the power and the beauty that's already present.

And most find that that new energy is so life enhancing that the goal they want holds less weight.

They realize that the goal's purpose is to live more fully now.

I've said before that boundaries breed creativity.

Goals set the structure so we can relax and enjoy ourselves in.

Nothing makes me happier than waking up early,

Grabbing coffee at some bougie coffee shop,

And then hitting the road for a full day of cruising.

While driving,

I listen to music,

Podcasts,

Audiobooks,

All while taking in the expanse of the open road.

My destination only served as a boundary for me to enjoy the journey.

Don't give up destinations,

They're important,

But discern if you are doing it in order to get to the destination or for the sake of the ride.

Drudgery is not a creative energy.

Right now I've been learning to play the piano and admittedly at first there was an idea of me being at a party,

Playing music,

Singing with people.

Yet if I were to pursue piano like this,

I'd be working in order to.

It would make practicing a slog.

Luckily,

I've been enjoying learning scales,

Seeing my brain and fingers sync up,

Things I couldn't do the day before and I can do two days later.

It's really this fulfilling process I've been very much enjoying.

Life is too short to miss out on the full scope of our creative flow.

Quick way to think about things.

In order to is about taking advantage.

There's an opportunity,

You see a potential outcome and you take advantage of said outcome.

In doing this,

You feel strain and scarcity.

For its own sake is about becoming advantaged.

When you do things for their own sake,

You move from what David Hawkins calls force into power.

You access a new paradigm of energy that not only fills you internally,

But has a greater ripple out into the world.

In doing this,

You feel ease and abundance.

So where do you go from here?

Change as many in order to's to for its own sakes.

It's okay to do things in order to,

But try to watch the places where it takes over and you completely lose sight of the moment.

Instead of making dinner in order to feed your family,

Try having the goal to feed your family and make dinner for its own sake.

Feel the primalness of this act and the ancient art of mixing salt,

Fat,

Acid and heat.

I know,

I'm romanticizing.

It's okay.

Make something just to make something.

We are all creative.

Create for the practice and the learning.

Back in the day,

Wherever that day was,

Back in the day,

Everyone played music.

It wasn't like,

Oh,

You're good at music or you're not good at music.

It was just like,

This was the thing you do.

It didn't matter if you were good.

It's not about being good.

It's about tapping in to the creativity.

There was less judgment.

We have so much judgment around our creative acts that we put out.

That's what I did with recording when I originally,

I grew a lot on a meditation app,

Insight Timer.

You might be listening to this on there right now.

What I did with meditation is,

I wasn't recording in order to get anywhere.

For a long time,

There was nowhere to go.

There was no money even to make.

If I was recording in order to,

I wouldn't be where I'm at now.

I was just enjoying getting a chance to share and that was fulfilling in itself.

When thinking of what to do next with your life,

This is a big,

Big question.

It's a radical question.

Ask what would I do if I knew it would fail?

You heard that right.

What would I do if I knew it would fail?

I love this question because it gets to the heart of doing things for its own sake.

It's worth doing even if it doesn't work out.

I'm recording this right now.

I have no idea how many people are going to listen to it,

But again,

It's worth doing.

What's ironic is that because you are more present and enjoying the process when you do things for their own sake,

It actually has more chance to succeed.

I hope this share was helpful.

Let me know how this landed for you by leaving a comment.

I am so appreciative of you and getting a chance to share in this space.

If you like this and you're on Insight Timer,

Please come to follow my circle.

It's where I share a lot of new content on there.

It's a way to stay up to date.

You can check out all.

I think I have six courses that you can check out and we'll never get a chance to share with you more in this space.

Thanks so much and namaste.

Reviews

Yes Lou! This tesonated so much!
Thank you for this beautiful message.
It is so profoud 🙏🏼

Good timing to hear this! I just came out of a 'retirement planning' workshop and it left me thoroughly depressed. So the idea of living life "for its own sake" rather than "in order to..." is just what I needed to hear. Thank you!

Fantastic! Thank you. I’ve long attempted to let go of outcomes, but the idea of doing things “just because” is a wonderful next step.

Letting go of outcomes has helped me be ok when things turn out differently. Often different is actually better.

Some things are harder to do that with than others tho!

A great perspective on balancing the drive for future goals with doing things just for the sake of the present moment. It is challenging to manage but magic only really happens when we're fully present to witness it. Great reminder to not fall into the belief that we have to wait for happiness.

That was so interesting to listen to, very helpful and also fun to implement, just the right timing ☺️

So true. Great advice and delivery. Thank you. ☺️🙏

Great perspective to be heard in a much needed time. Thank you

Thanks for putting life’s every day journeys in perspective!

Always great to get new content from Lou. Really enjoying his podcast. His first episode was a long format interview and little surprise that he is great at that too. In this one he navigates the apparent paradox of the need to set goals if one is or should be happy in the present. I’m Lou fan and student of his coaching, a reader of the LousLetter and listener of his podcast and mediations.

Always appreciate your talks — very thoughtful and they land. 🙏🏻

That was beautiful. I love when you said “when we fixate on a goal, we miss where life wants to take us.”

I attempt to set my goals according to how happy I am feeling just thinking about them. My time and effort will go into the goal that excites me and fills me with the most happiness today.

Just what I needed to be reminded of today. Thank you 🙏

Have been contemplating on this balance for awhile. Kudos for recognizing the need and appreciate your insight.

Hi Lou; such a great talk. I’m also learning piano and never put any “in order to” on it. I just want to try something new and it’s opened me up so much! Thanks for the affirmation of that point of view. 🙏🏻🌺

I loved the spontaneity of this piece. Thanks for being real and inspired to share your knowledge. Loved it!!

This talk was very relevant for where I am at currently in my life and the things that I am thinking about. Questions around how to bring play into work feel essential but also like a privilege.

Thank you. I admire your zest for life! And agree that abundance is found in the presence🙏🏻

Very interesting & inspiring talk 🙏🏻thanks Lou, it makes so much sense & has motivated me to put this into practice 🙌

I loved your lecture. You have put a different spin on doing things not just to achieve something but actually just having fun doing it. You made me look differently at something to do. Thank you for this. I will listen to your explanation often so that I am reminded of it again and again.
Thank you 🙏🏻 Namaste 🙏🏻❤️