Responding With Compassion - April 02

Rather than reacting with anger to the hateful voices that dominate corners of the internet, Liz found herself responding with curiosity. In this 5 Minutes In Nature, she reflects on what might be missing in our communities that leads young men toward influencers who trade in fear and misogyny.

What would it take, she wonders, for them to feel seen, valued, and able to contribute with kindness instead?

Transcript

Hello and welcome to Five Minutes in Nature with me Liz Scott in Exeter. I'm just above the river, The River Wrecks that is, Climbed up a very steep hill and I've paused so I'm a little bit out of breath and I am on my way into Exeter to have a cup of coffee. It's very early morning. What I've noticed is I've walked along the river. You see I walk along the river at the same time pretty much when I come up to see my mum. It's the same time every time I go for a walk in the morning and I've seen it now go from the depths of darkness at winter time to now where the sun is already risen by the time I get walking and what that means is that there are many more people out walking and running and cycling. It's really joyful to see people out on this beautiful day, This beautiful spring day enjoying the sunshine. And today's reflection is one of something that I watched on the television and I'm kind of going to be trying to express myself with you. I've not fully thought through or come to an idea of what it is I want to say but it was a program that was examining what's called the Manosphere. The Manosphere and you might have heard of these influences that have very derogatory horrible views about women and and they are they spout them out and they have a following often of young very young men who are looking for role models and the lifestyle that these influences have is one where they're very muscular, They've got a lot of money, They seem to be surrounded by beautiful young women and I kind of saw it on the tv and I thought I don't know if I really want to watch that. Sometimes I find these things a little bit disturbing, They unsettle me but something had me watch it and my biggest surprise was at the end of seeing it I realised that these I'll call them men boys because they're not really they're not really men they're kind of lost it seems to me in this this world between being a boy and a man of wanting to show off to get to be liked. I just had a feeling that these these men boys these influences were really lost deeply lost and I felt a sense of compassion for them that surprised me because I had expected all my feminist triggers to be flipped and for me to kind of get a little bit on my high horse about it all but I didn't I realised they were lost and not only were they lost but they were trapped because they lived in a world where they had to keep producing content it meant they had a camera on them most of the time they were constantly looking for ways to increase viewers and clicks and I mean I don't really understand that world but what they were doing is the way they did it was well the more shocking they could be the more clicks they would get and the interviewer talked to them not just when they were performing for their channels but but also spoke to them when they were off air as it were and and when they were off air they dropped the persona that hard man persona and that was when I really saw them being lost and I don't really have a conclusion here other than to feel sadness that there are people in our world that feel so lost and they feel so lost that the only way that they feel they have or any contribution they have is to attack is to attack and be mean and hurtful and spread hateful thoughts and speech that makes me sad makes me sad so like I say I don't have a conclusion here more of a question and I guess the question is this is what is missing in our world and in our society that has young men feel they need to behave that way like what what is it that we are letting them down with what is our what are our communities missing that has these bright young men feel that that is their only way forward in life and I'd be so curious about your reflections and I really want to keep them I say positive but resourceful I don't want this to be about men and women and right and wrong I just want to understand I think what it is that has gone wrong and what we might do to support bringing men like this back into the fold of a community so they can have a positive contribution I look forward to hearing your reflections and don't forget I'll be back again tomorrow for another five minutes in nature

Reviews

That is sad Liz. It’s like they are lost and drawn into a cult-like life where they feel empowered. But we know that deep down they are weak. I’m not sure what the answer is but I watched an older British gentleman being interviewed, possibly a Veteran, and he was asked if he still loved his country. His answer was in the positive but he lamented times of the past where he felt people supported and helped each other more, connected more and he wasn’t happy with the changes. Thank you for the thought provoking 😊🙏

I have managed to mostly keep my head in the sand about these sorts of behaviors, so I am uninformed. But disturbed and sad to hear your description …🥹

Young boys and girls many of whom grow up on video games and social media.

So many of these channels and videos strip away the humanity of our world.

Sending you peace and love to all those out there listening to Liz's positive commentary. ✌️❤️😌

Personally I think community is lacking in many places. At one time there would be youth clubs and community run activities where everyone would go and join in. Everyone would learn from and integrate with their peers and the elders would demonstrate what was expected. Whilst some places still have theses types of events, many do not and so with the advent of social media, that's where society goes to find its community instead. Without direction from one's neighbours, elders or whomever would have contributed locally, now people look for communities they think they want, without realising they're being drawn in to less than acceptable ways of being. There's no one physically there to tell them their comments, actions and thoughts are unreasonable.

True leadership begins when we find the courage to show our vulnerability In that open, human part of ourselves, we discover that we all seek the same things: love, acceptance, and connection.”