Asking For Help - August 07

Do you ever stop yourself from asking for help? In today's 5 Minutes In Nature Liz reflects on the vulnerability that people can feel when they ask for help. She realises that when she's on the receiving end of an authentic request for help, it can be so powerful and inspiring to read, but she also sees that it can take a lot to reach out to others.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to five minutes in nature with me Liz Scott. I'm down in the village at our little wildflower patch. It is a wildflower meadow, It's a bit grand calling it that because it's probably about a third of an acre, It's tiny, And it's where the cemetery used to be here in the village. We have been allowed to let nature find its way here and it's meant that the grass has grown long, Wildflowers have grown, There are different butterflies and birds and insects that you can see particularly during the heat of the day. It's in the evening at the moment so it's a little bit quieter. And at this time of year the grasses are tall, They're deeply yellow and there's a sort of a sense of summer straggliness about it. I love the seasons and I love the way that with spring there feels like there's this expectation of new growth and then it sort of comes through the lusciousness of April and May and then June is this hive of activity and then July and August well they just seem to be this scruffiness of plants that have grown too tall and that are starting to flop over and also because we've had so little rain everything is looking a little bit dry at the moment. I love coming down here it's so so great to be here. And today's reflection is about asking for help. I don't know how good you are at asking for help but there's a couple of things that have happened in my world recently that have just had me wanting to reflect on this for myself and I love reflecting out loud with you too because maybe it's something that's useful for you. How much do you ask for help? And there's been two instances I want to share with you. I'm part of a little group online of dog walkers or people that used to walk dogs and we are a group of women that just very occasionally might communicate with each other or ask each other to help with our dogs and that kind of thing. On this group, One of the women who I would see as someone very strong-minded, She's a former police officer, She's somebody that is a very rock solid leader, Sort of just seems to take everything in her stride. She wrote a message. It was just a factual message. It was a message explaining how she was looking after her husband who was poorly and was about to go through chemotherapy treatment. She herself was struggling with her health and she had an appointment at the hospital and she just wondered if anybody on this group would be able to take her to hospital because she's going to find it hard to manage. And in the message she also said, Look, I really find it hard asking for help and so I hope you're okay with me asking. And it's a wonderful group of women and people got back. Some were able to help her out directly. Others said, Look, I can't help you on this occasion, But I'd love to support you in any way we can. And I just felt this sense of people coming together to help, Wanting to help. But actually the thing that struck me the most was this sense of vulnerability that I sensed that she felt in asking for help. And it resonated with me. Of vulnerability. And I wonder, How much do I ask for help? Like, When do I actually ask for help? And the way in which she had asked for help was, I thought, Very beautiful. It was very factual. She just said, This is what's going on. Can anybody help me with this particular thing? She wasn't playing the victim. But I could also sense her authenticity, Her vulnerability, This kind of sense of showing a side of her that she didn't show to the world that often. And I felt deeply moved and connected with her as a result of that. And another story is a friend, Similar thing actually, In so much as she doesn't really ask for help. She asked if anyone could help pick her up from an airport. And she said, I went and had a cup of tea with her and she said, It was so hard sending that message. And she said, Within three minutes of sending it, Two people had offered to help her out. And she said, You know, It's just so, It was so hard for me to send that message. Vulnerable and yet the response I had was just amazing. And so that's what I'm here talking about today is that sense of asking for help in a vulnerable way, Not in a martyrish victim way, But in a way where you are being totally authentic and honest about how you are finding life. And reaching out for help. Do you ever do that? It's certainly something I'm reflecting on for myself. I'd love to know your reflections. And of course, Don't forget to join me again tomorrow for another five minutes in nature.

Reviews

I think I struggle with this
Recently I got into hot water for not asking for help and trying to do everything myself but historically - in my life - there has been no one to help so I have had to do it all by myself
But on reflection I can see it is a valuable thing to do.

Asking for help is hard for me…I never associated it with vulnerability. Interesting. Thanks Liz. 🙏🏻

None of us like to feel we are a burden nor show we aren't perhaps coping as well as we'd like and I think it's this that makes it hard to ask for help. Certainly I am very poor at asking for help until I'm almost broken, but I am learning there's no shame in asking for help and that sometimes when people have skills other than your own, they can be much better placed to help you, than you can help yourself.

Asking is not our first course of action, is it? A vulnerability we don’t jump right into often.
Thank you Liz.

Good morning Liz. Thoughts From My Deck about asking for help.

You may be able to tell me if I am good at asking for help. I have been organizing and recruiting in many capacities throughout my life. So in many cases I am looking for volunteers that would like to support the cause. In other instances asking people to support charitable events financially.

Most recently the past few years asking for support from teachers and guides for IAMday.

Thank you Liz for saying YES. ✌️❤️