Allowing Impatience To Rise And Fall - July 14

When impatience rears its head, rather than try to get rid of it or get angry at yourself, just allow the impatience to rise and fall. In today's 5 Minutes In Nature, Liz is reflecting on the challenge of caring for her mum and the unwelcome feelings that seem to rise.

Today is a realisation that all feelings are welcome and that being human is a messy business.

Transcript

Hello and welcome to five minutes in nature with me Liz Scott taking a stroll in the evening in Exeter. I've just put my mum to bed. She's my dear elderly mum and it's a very slow process getting her into the bed and getting her undressed but she's in bed and I've come out for a walk and this is my chance to take in deep breaths to recalibrate and to really feel back in touch with myself again. I'm just pausing actually because where my mum lives is on a hill and I can see out towards the ocean and I can actually see Exmouth. The River Ex runs off Exmoor, That's where it gets its name, And it runs all the way down through Exeter and that's where Exeter gets its name. And then it reaches the ocean at Exmouth and the mouth of the River Ex, Hence Exmouth, Is where it goes and is where the estuary is and it spills out into the ocean and I can see that now and although there are houses all around me and there are rooftops below me I kind of get a sense that people for thousands of years would have been able to stand at this spot and see pretty much the same view out towards the ocean and I rather like that link with history. And today's reflection is just an embracing of being human of it, The messy bits, The bits you wish you didn't have, The feelings that you wish you didn't have. It's just about saying it's all okay and I'm kind of saying it to myself as much as to you. When I arrive here in Exeter to look after mum and I arrived today, I come from a life where I mean I'm not really busy busy but I just get things done, I do the washing up, I get things done, I cooked some food, I packed my bag, I got in the car, I drove up to my my dear old mum here in Exeter. And so I go at one pace and I arrive here in Exeter. A mum who is quite vulnerable and elderly and very immobile is just so slow. It's like the pace of life shifts from slow to ultra ultra slow. And I noticed that with that I feel this unwelcome feeling of impatience. It's like patience is called for and yet I feel this sort of sense of like, I want things to go a little bit faster. So when I help her get changed for bed, Everything is so, So slow. When I help her get into bed itself, That is so, So slow. And I guess the recognition today is just to be okay with myself, Really, And to realize, And maybe you feel this too, Is like, I wish I didn't feel impatient. I wish I was super zen-like and calm and loving. But actually, Impatience is what I feel, And I'm okay with that. I don't show it with mum, I don't hurry her up, And I don't snap at her, But I just notice that the impatience rises within me, And that there's a bit of me wishes I didn't have that feeling, But I do. And I really get that if you're caring for someone, However much you love them, Whether it's a child, Whether it's a parent, Whether it's a sibling, Or maybe it's your partner, If you're caring for someone, You probably feel a whole range of emotions, Like just today I felt impatience, Love, We've laughed, I felt frustration, I felt sadness, All of these emotions are spinning around and at any one time they seem to land on me and they're all okay, They're all welcome. So today is just a reflection, And for me, I listen to my wisdom, And my wisdom says, Go for a walk. It's spot on, That wisdom of mine, Every single time. And as I come out for a walk, I take some deep breaths. I'm in the city, I'm not on my beloved Dartmoor, But this is good. I'm near trees, I'm standing right beside a very pretty fuchsia bush. I've got the views out towards the ocean. Life is good. And today is just a reminder that, Look, It's okay. Whatever emotions you feel, You feel. Don't put yourself down. Don't beat yourself up for having them. Just allow them to rise, Allow them to fall, And be with them. And listen to that inner wisdom. Listen to your intuitive wisdom. For me, It nudged me out to get some air to go for a walk. I don't know what your wisdom will nudge you to do, But listen into it. It gives you really good guidance. And for me, It's about trusting. That guidance. So let me know your reflections on being human and embracing it all and don't forget of course to join me again tomorrow for another five minutes in nature.

Reviews

I can completely relate to this Liz! When I would stay with my Dad on visits to the UK, as his health was declining, he became more and more difficult. Also like your Mum, very slow. To support myself so I could attempt to be loving and patient I would go for a long early morning walk whilst he was still asleep. It was very challenging being with him as he was not an easy man but I feel I did my best. When my emotions got too high I would allow myself to retreat (to the garden, bedroom, out shopping, meet a friend or family member etc.)

I think it’s all about balance and, as you say, embracing life’s messiness and doing what needs to be done but honoring your own needs so you can be there for your loved one.

Thank you 💗🙏☺️

Thank you dear Liz 🙏💓
It was so lovely for me to hear your experience and reflection with caring for your dear mum.
I could fully understand and know this flux of feelings, and the wish to not have those undesirable feelings which arise at times.
I am a mother of a teenage daughter who has profound disabilities from birth and she moves so very very slowly and with increasing reluctance. So I could really relate to what you shared!
Thank you for encouraging our inner gentle permission to notice and allow these feelings without berating ourselves for having them.
Showing the same love and compassion to our human selves that we have for our loved ones.
When feeling impatient or frustrated, allowing our wise self to understand and guide our self-care, which is ultimately universal care, as all life is One 💞

Love and blessings to you and your mum 🙏🥰

Thanks for your gentle reminders to allow all emotions without judgement. I lost my 92 year old mother yesterday and I have certainly experienced a range of emotions with her over the years and particularly during the last 7 as I have had increasing responsibility for her. After my father passed in 2019 my mom’s needs have grown as I slowly watched her disappear. She is happier now I am sure. And she continues to be my greatest teacher as all my emotions roll in and out with this next phase. I will try to listen to my inner wisdom and care for myself too. 💛🕊️💛

Good morning Liz and great to find you here in teacher updates.

My past few days have been similar with my mom and her dementia and a serious health issue for my partner. I can see that I am feeling somewhat overwhelmed but am able to just be with it. I know it will pass.

This morning I will get out on the lake paddle boarding. ✌️❤️😎