Hi,
My name is Karen and this is an Insight Moment.
What to do when the one you love no longer loves you.
When the one you love doesn't love you anymore.
It's okay to be sad.
And to grieve the future that you imagined and hoped for.
It's okay to question what part you played in the relationship.
It's okay to feel hurt that they couldn't see your inner beauty.
But it's not okay to try to be something that you're not.
It's not okay to turn yourself inside out to be something that you think they want.
And it's not okay to let them believe that you are something that you're not.
You deserve to be happy.
And they deserve to be every bit as happy as you.
And no amount of pleading or begging or changing of your outward person,
Losing weight,
Behaving this way or that,
Tricks or games you play will ever make them yours.
And so you have to let them go.
They were never yours in the first place.
You cannot belong to someone and they cannot belong to you.
You are not a thing,
A belonging.
You are beautiful.
You are complete.
You are enough.
And you cannot convince someone of your worth or explain to them so that they will ever understand that in your heart you believe you are the one that completes them.
They are complete.
They do not need you to complete them.
You cannot convince them to stay any more than you can push on a rope.
And life is too short to hold space for someone that doesn't want to hold space for you.
I'm not saying it's not going to hurt.
Love demands a strong heart,
A courageous heart.
And it can be hard to be brave when you believe that you have been hurt by someone you loved and trusted.
But they didn't love you.
Do you see that?
They didn't love you.
Maybe they did.
Or maybe they never did.
But that doesn't matter now.
Because all that matters right now is that there is no space there for you anymore.
To breathe.
To grow.
To shine.
Maybe you think that you can change them,
Make them into something that they're not.
But love doesn't do that.
Love holds space for us,
Celebrates us,
Allows us to discover who we truly are.
Love encourages us to stand strong and tall,
All on our own.
And love allows you to follow your dreams.
Love understands that following your dream may take you away from them.
But it knows that to hold you back would be cruel and wrong.
And in the end,
You would resent being held back.
Being stunted from your own growth into your true self.
Love doesn't wear a collar.
You can put a collar on a dog.
And maybe in your heart you think it's staying there because it loves you.
It stays there because you hold it there.
Take the collar off the dog.
Tell the dog to run.
To run free.
Tell that dog to be the best dog ever.
And you know what?
That dog is going to light up.
That dog is going to light up like fireworks on New Year's Eve.
I don't know if you've ever seen a dog smile.
But that smile will light you up too.
And that's what love does.
Even if it meant that you would never see that shaggy,
Raggedy,
Crazy,
Beautiful dog again,
Your heart would smile.
Because that is what love is.
It is selfless.
So you can be sad that the one you love no longer loves you.
But you have to let them go.
And letting them go,
You're not empty.
You're simply making space.
Space to rediscover yourself.
To recognize all the beauty that is in you.
To see the courage that you have grown.
The wisdom and empathy.
This is a time to offer endless self-compassion.
Read the book that you haven't read because you were too busy trying to build something on bad foundation.
Take up a cooking class.
Go out to movies with friends.
Become who you were meant to be.
You are complete.
Revisit that person.
See the value in that person because you are exquisite.
When the one you love doesn't love you anymore.
It is okay to be sad and to grieve the future that you imagined and hoped for.
It's okay to question the part you played in the relationship.
And it's okay to feel hurt because they didn't see your inner beauty.
But it's time now that you look internally to see your own inner beauty.
To not try to be something that you're not.
To no longer turn yourself inside out but to become who you are.
You deserve to be happy.
I'm not saying it's not going to hurt.
But you know what?
When you begin to really love yourself and become who you truly are,
You're going to light up.
You're going to light up like fireworks on New Year's Eve.
And that smile that comes right from your heart,
There's nothing that will ever be able to take the shine off that.
Because that is what love is.
So you can be sad for a little bit longer that the one you love no longer loves you.
But you have to let them go.
Because the one you truly love needs to be you.
