Hi and welcome to a daily insight.
My name is Karen Roy and I'm a teacher on Insight Timer.
Today's insightful moment is created to help you understand the true power and beauty of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not condoning others perceived hurtful behaviors but instead forgiveness is something we can offer to free ourselves of the burden carried because of the hurt that we've endured.
We are often unable to let go or release the heaviness of hurt especially when we feel that we're the victim or a casualty in an unfortunate experience.
When we choose not to forgive we're choosing to carry the burden of resentment into every moment moving forward.
It may feel to you that you are entitled to retribution or that you're owed an apology at the very least but when we choose to stand rigid in our righteousness we are in fact causing great harm to our own body and being told by friends or loved ones that we should just let it go has the exact opposite effect.
You clutch your heart more tightly around the pain and you argue that you are entitled to your feelings.
You are therefore entitled to feel wrong and hurt.
Being told to simply move on may feel like your hurt is not worthy of notice,
Unimportant and that it has become inconvenient for others around you.
It would be wonderful to allow yourself to relax and see with greater clarity where change is needed in your life but when you're still holding tightly to pain whether rightly or wrongly it's impossible to truly relax.
Complete relaxation is impossible when you're holding on to grudges.
Of course it can seem impossible to even imagine forgiving those who have wronged you but without forgiving those who have wronged you you're unable to move forward.
Forgiveness is a necessary step in the progression of personal growth and achievement.
So let's begin by saying I'm ready to take the necessary steps toward becoming the best version of myself.
It may seem daunting to forgive people and to forgive the instances in your past which have hurt you but actually it's very easy when you truly understand the purpose of forgiveness.
Take a moment to imagine a situation where a minor mishap has occurred,
One which is truly inconsequential in the grand design of your life.
A glass is dropped and milk is spilled.
Perhaps it's a glass that was one of your favorites,
A family heirloom,
Irreplaceable not in money but in sentimental importance.
Now imagine a young child was holding the glass of milk.
Of course they didn't want to drop the glass,
They didn't want to spill the milk.
In fact they wanted just the opposite.
They wanted desperately to show you how capable they actually are,
That they were capable of carrying a full glass of milk to the table on their own.
Their tiny little hands couldn't quite grasp the cup fully and the glass fell spilling the milk breaking the glass on the floor.
This upsets you perhaps because milk is expensive and the cup was maybe given by someone long lost.
But is it reasonable to continue to carry a grudge against the child for something that was clearly an accident?
Of course not.
But you are entitled to be disappointed.
You are entitled to feel lost.
We feel that we have been intentionally hurt or that we are disadvantaged by someone else's lack of consideration or neglect.
It can feel so personal.
It can feel so very personal.
Now let's shift the mind to the sensations that you're feeling right now imagining that personal attack.
Take a deep breath in through the nose and sigh it out slowly through the mouth.
Let's do that a few more times just to soften up a little bit.
Breathing in your belly swells and rises.
Breathing out your belly falls and shrinks.
Breathing in the belly rises.
Breathing out the belly falls.
Notice how your body feels right now by simply drawing breath deep into the spaces which are tight allowing the breath to open the space.
Now notice any places that feel pleasant.
It could be as small as the tip of your nose or a much larger area.
Just feel these sensations of goodness and allow them to expand.
Perhaps these areas of good sensations can communicate with those places in your body that currently feel stuck.
They can expand just as sunlight can move into a space,
Lightening and warming up that space just as the sunlight does as the morning light enters into a room.
Observe how your body reacts when you allow pleasant feelings to communicate with the feelings that seem stuck and tight.
Perhaps imagine warm sunlight penetrating,
Reaching into sore achy muscles and bones,
Melting away pain and discomfort.
These good sensations,
They don't hold a grudge against the areas of the tightness or the not so good sensations.
They simply hold space and communicate with openness and love.
Allow for more pleasant feelings to enter into your body now through your breath.
Breathe in easily and consciously know that each in breath draws oxygen into your body.
It feeds and nourishes your entire body and allow an exhale to shift you into a more relaxed state.
Breathing in,
Sending goodness throughout your entire body.
Exhaling,
Softening,
Easing,
Releasing.
Breathing in even to the places that are tight and hurting,
Allowing them to open and soften.
Exhaling into tranquility.
Inhale supportive sensations and exhale into relaxation.
Inhale deeply the force of good and exhale into ease.
Continue to breathe in this goodness and exhale relaxing for a few more cycles of breath.
Simply breathing.
You found a way to communicate to the areas of tension in your body.
Communicating with the areas of tension,
Changing their energy,
Their frequency and their very structure.
Then converting them into a relaxed state.
Let's continue.
You're doing so well.
With our newfound relaxed state,
Let's shift this into a place of forgiveness.
This is a very important opportunity.
It will aid you in progressing toward personal achievement in all aspects of your life.
To begin,
Visualize that you're in a beautiful garden on a mild day with fluffy clouds rolling across the sky and the sun periodically peeking through the canopy of trees and leaves above you.
The dappled sun touching your skin,
Nourishing all the plants in the garden.
As you admire the beauty here,
The brilliant color of leaves,
The sound of birds singing,
The scent of rich earth and abundance all around you,
You notice throughout the garden the sweet fragrance.
It is welcoming.
Looking down you see a small footpath.
It is both inviting and mysterious.
Follow this path and as you turn and curve around this path,
Moving through this garden,
You inhale the fresh,
Crisp air.
There is a gentle breeze.
You feel very calm and relaxed.
Calm and relaxed.
As you round a corner,
You notice in the distance a small bench made of wood and as you near you see that there is a person sitting on the bench.
The person that perhaps has caused you pain,
Whether inadvertently or purposefully.
Seeing them,
You notice a tightening in your chest.
Even thinking about them,
Remembering them,
Draws stories and experiences of hurt close to your surface.
And even though you've tried to move beyond this constant ache inside you,
You can't seem to get past it.
This is the person you most need to forgive.
You need to forgive this person most because you need to be free from this pain.
This person has been waiting for you,
Sitting here because this is a very important encounter.
Knowing that you are safe here,
That you can no longer be hurt by this person,
You sit down beside them.
There are some things that you need to say to this person.
With courage,
Look them directly in their eyes and say,
You hurt me and I have suffered for too long because of this burden.
This burden that I've carried in the form of a grudge toward you.
I forgive you.
I forgive you not because I condone what you did,
But to allow myself to move away from the pain.
I forgive you.
I forgive you and I forgive myself.
I forgive myself for choosing to carry this hurt,
This pain,
This burden for so long.
I forgive you and you will not enter my thoughts any longer.
I forgive you because forgiveness opens up all aspects of my life.
You notice the darkness that was once in their eyes begin to lighten and for a while they don't say a word.
Then the silence is broken.
They say simply to you,
I will leave you alone now and you will not be tormented by thoughts of me anymore.
They get up from this beautiful wooden bench and walk into the nearby wooded forest.
You watch as their figure grows smaller and smaller as they move into the distance until finally you no longer can see them.
Never once did they turn and look back your way.
Well done.
This was a very important meeting today in this beautiful garden and as you breathe in new fresh air you might feel so much lighter than you did before.
Such a huge weight has been lifted from your heart.
That person is no longer sitting within your secret garden.
That pain is no longer sitting within your secret garden.
The pain and they have moved on and so have you.
Begin to bring your focus back to your breath now.
Breathing in and breathing out.
Belly expanding with each in-breath.
Belly shrinking with each out-breath.
Feel the breath expanding into your whole body.
Your whole body breathing.
And now hold the sensation of forgiveness and breath in the body,
Vast and open.
Open yourself to all the sensations in your body right now in spacious awareness and carry that sense of expansiveness,
Generous,
Loving compassion to whatever experiences arrive in the next moments of your day.
