On Failure And Resilience

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” —Samuel Beckett
Failure and disappointment are real. We can fail in many ways. We cannot avoid it by not having goals or not trying because not trying in of itself is a failure. So, if either path leads to failure, let’s return to Beckett’s words. As we get better at watching our own patterns of thinking, we can identify expectations that don’t match reality. We can shatter expectations and create from a place that’s more complex than success/failure. And this is when we can trust ourselves. This is when we open up new worlds and find a strange beauty in failure.

Transcript

The award-winning Irish playwright Samuel Beckett said, Ever tried, Ever failed, No matter, Try again, Fail again, Fail better. Again, Ever tried, Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better. I remember when I was about seven years old, I think newly seven years old, In fact. And I was walking home from my friend's house who lived just down the street and I saw in the middle of the sidewalk a gift, A tiny little blue robin's egg specked with little brown flakes. And I immediately saw the future. In my child mind, I could see myself as the mother to a bird. I would nurture the egg. I would wait for the day that it cracked open and a little beak would shine through and then I would see a tiny little baby bird and I would nurture that baby bird until it was ready to fly up toward the sky. That was my vision. I could see it clearly. I picked up the robin's egg with so much gentle attention and just cradled it in my palm, Cupping my other palm over top. And I began to walk a little bit faster, Trying to get home a little bit quicker. And I realized that my hands were a little bit cold, So I put the egg in my jean skirt pocket and I held the pocket open so that it was loose and the egg was a little warm. And as I got closer to my house, I began to get even more excited and I started to run. And as I ran, I started to imagine the little nest that I would create with the sheet on my bed and that silky pillowcase that my mom had. I'm sure she would let me borrow it. And I started to think about where I would situate this in my room and how I would put it in the light so that the little bird was warm. And then I looked down and I realized that my pocket had gotten flattened as I ran. Ran and I saw a yellow liquid in my pocket and I felt down and I felt the cracked shell and everything about my world just fell apart in that moment. I was so sad. I felt embarrassed. I felt regretful. I did not know as a child what I did not know. And I cried and I cried and I cried because I felt I had failed. Now, Quite a few years have passed, And if I were to go back in time and see that little girl with her grand intentions, I would do nothing but offer her love, Compassion, And support. And with a gentle smile, I would remind her And she did the best she could with the knowledge she had. She would better understand the nature of things, The fact that if a robin's egg is left in the middle of the sidewalk, It was probably abandoned. I would hug her and console her and say, Sweetheart. This is just a moment in time. You offer the world love, Continue to do so. And think about what it is that you've learned. Because I'm assuming that if you came to this recording, You clicked play, There is probably something in your life that you are concerned about either failing in the future or where you felt like you have failed. Maybe you failed a person, Failed a test. Maybe you failed to meet your own expectations, Whatever it is. I want you to think about whatever it is that brought you to listen to this today. That makes you interested in this topic at all. As you reflect on this, I just invite you to think about. What it might be like to encounter a future version of yourself that's even wiser, That knows the things that you don't yet know, Who could come back and say, You know what? What you're going through right now, What you perceive as failure. Is simply information. And you are perfect exactly how you are. You're doing the best that you can do with the knowledge that you have, The energy that you have. So taking this moment here, Right now, And using it as a springboard to do the best you can in the next moment, That, My friend, Is all that you can do. And it is more than enough. Sitting with this idea of compassion and whatever your story of failure is currently or has been in the past. I invite you to take a little silent meditation of your own. That's it with the idea of failure. Sit with the idea of a wiser version of yourself coming back. From the future to let you know. That this is part of the information that you are here to gather. And that you can move forward with this information. In the best way possible. We can try. We can fail. And no matter, We can try again. We can fail again. We have the opportunity to fail even better. And that's what makes this life so incredibly exciting.