Mindfulness For Your Wandering Mind

Many people struggle with meditation because their minds are so busy or they have challenges with focus. This video offers a perspective on how valuable a wandering mind is in the process and practice of mindfulness, along with attention training, self-compassion, and patience.

Transcript

Hi, I'm Joanie, And welcome to Mindfulness for Your Wandering Mind. I've worked with many people over the years who have said to me, Joni, I can't practice meditation or I can't practice mindfulness. My mind is just too busy. This is a common myth that I think can be perpetuated by teachers when they unintentionally say things like empty your mind or clear your mind of all thoughts. That's a really challenging ask for a householder. A householder is someone who is living in the world, Working, Having relationships. Having to pay bills and do all the life stuff that I think most of us are probably doing. If you're not a householder, Then you're a renunciate of some sort, A monk or a nun who dedicates most of their waking hours to the practice of mindfulness and meditation. And they certainly have the capacity to get to a different place than we can as householders. So step one is to not hold yourself to a standard that might be unattainable. If you don't have eight hours a day to practice meditation, That's okay. We can still get benefits from our practice. The number one benefit that you can get from a mindfulness and meditation practice when you have a busy mind is cultivating patience and compassion for yourself. Because in fact the process of getting distracted in meditation, Noticing that you're distracted and then returning your attention to whatever your focal point is, Is such a valuable process. When we go through that process, When we start our meditation, And let's say we're focusing on our breathing. We might feel one inhale and one exhale before our wandering mind wanders off to tell us a story about something that happened yesterday. And we might really dive into that story in our mind. The moment you recognize, Oh! My mind has wandered. I said that I was going to sit and focus on my breath and I'm thinking about yesterday. That moment is a moment of mindfulness and should be celebrated. NOT. Discouraged. Sometimes we beat ourselves up in that moment and we say, Oh, I shouldn't have gotten distracted. It is normal to have a busy mind. And again, If we didn't get those distractions, We wouldn't have the opportunity to have that moment of mindfulness. Oh, I've gotten distracted. Next, We can recognize that we have a choice. We can stay in that state of distraction or we can choose to redirect our attention. Back to our practice. So this looks something like this, This practice. You're focusing on your breathing. You feel and inhale and exhale. A thought pops up of a conversation you had with someone yesterday. You start to think about that conversation and relive it. Awareness arises and you say to yourself, My mind has wandered. That's a thought about the past. I'm gonna choose to let it go and refocus on my breath. I feel an inhale. I feel an exhale. My mind has wandered again. I'm thinking about tomorrow and the plans that I have. That's okay. I'll let that thought go. I'll refocus my attention back on my breath. This process might happen again and again and again in just a few minutes of practice. What we must cultivate inside is a calm sense of ease, Knowing that this is part of the path and this is part of the practice. And ultimately, What we are teaching our distracted brains is how to refocus. Every time our minds wander and we catch ourselves, We have a moment of empowerment, A moment of choice. Even if many minutes have passed. And we finally catch ourselves, We still have that moment of awareness, That moment of mindfulness, Which is so valuable. That is the moment that we can choose. We can continue to think about whatever it is that distracted us, Or we can come back to our practice. What we want to try to avoid. Is noticing the distraction, Having that moment of awareness, And then saying to yourself, Ugh, I'm distracted again. I'm never gonna get this right. I quit. We want to avoid that. I understand why that kind of sentiment would arise. Because it's really challenging when your mind is so busy. But remember, It's part of the process. When I first started practicing many years ago, A technique that I would use to get rid of those negative thoughts about myself that would arise. I would catch myself in distraction and I would say to myself, Oh, I'm distracted. And then I would get out some imaginary scissors and I would just go snip, Snip, Snip to cut off the rest of the thought. That was critical. I would use the scissors to snip that in my mind's eye and I would watch those words fall to the ground and then I could more easily refocus. In time, Refocusing became more natural and now I can very quickly refocus most of the time. So part of the process of managing your wandering mind when you're practicing mindfulness is to simply cultivate patience. Patience. Awareness. And then choice. You get to choose where you place your attention. It takes practice to get better at that the same way it takes practice in absolutely any skill that we learn. Let's try this out together now. But you can also try this with any insight timer recording or any practice that you do on your own. Take this idea that your mind wanders, You notice. You choose to let it go. You refocus. Without beating yourself up. You can apply that to any other practice. Today, I want to invite you to do this with just a simple breath awareness practice with me. So get comfortable. Whether you want to sit or lie down. You can close your eyes or you can just gaze downward. Let's take one deep breath together. Deep breath in. And exhale with a sigh. Now let your breath be natural. Where do you notice your breath the most? Can you feel the flow of air in and out at your nose? Do you notice it more at the throat? Perhaps you feel the movement of your chest. Your ribcage or your belly. There's no right or wrong place to focus. It's wherever you feel the strongest sensation that you connect to your natural breathing. And then take it one breath at a time. Fully feel and try to be present for the sensations of one inhale, And one exhale. That's it, Just one breath at a time. And if you start to notice chatter in your mind, That's OK. Catch the chatter. Catch the distraction. Celebrate that moment of awareness. That's a moment of mindfulness. And then choose to let it go and return to feel. One breath in. One breath out. One breath at a time. Let's bring this brief practice to a close and when you feel ready you can open your eyes. You did it! It's that simple and simple doesn't mean easy. That might have felt challenging for you and it might take some practice to cut out the negativity and the self-judgment that might be accompanying your wandering mind whenever you practice. Trust that that's part of the process. Getting distracted, Catching it, Returning your attention, You're strengthening neural connections in your brain that will help you to have greater focus and attention in time. So keep practicing and I hope to see you back here at Insight Timer.