I am my truth.
I am not angry.
I'm afraid.
I am not hurt.
I am afraid.
I am not righteous.
I am afraid.
I am not ego.
I am afraid.
I am afraid because I want to be loved.
I am frightened because I want to be loved.
I do not speak my truth for fear of not being loved.
In this affirmational meditation,
We are going to focus on your right to be you,
To bridge and marry yourself towards the truth of your love and actualizing your fears to get to that point.
Now,
Many of us will feel that I have every right to be angry.
They hurt me.
They denied me.
They lied to me.
They cheated.
And that is okay to recognize that you may feel that you're unloved because you were hurt.
You were denied.
You were abandoned.
You were abused.
And that is okay to acknowledge that as your truth as well.
And so when we are in a state of limbo,
We are caught between the actualization of who I am and what I have experienced.
They are not the same.
And yet we tend to marry them,
Blend them in a coherence of sameness.
I can be denied of love and yet be lovable.
I can be lied to and yet be trustworthy or trusting.
I can be hurt and yet feel fine.
I can be unheard and yet express myself for who I am and be heard.
And when we do not marry the two,
When we cannot,
And yet we cannot separate the two at the same time,
Let me explain this in a moment,
We feel as if we are in limbo.
Right?
And when we are in limbo,
It's because I cannot be one without the other.
I cannot be loving and be unloved.
I cannot be lied to and be trusting.
I cannot be angry and hurt and yet feel happy and content.
I can't have those two,
But you can.
And as long as you swing from one to the other,
You are stuck in limbo.
And what happens when we succumb to limbo,
We become frozen,
Numb,
Detached,
Evasive,
Aloof.
And we can stay there a really long time.
In fact,
We can stay there lifetimes.
And so I invite you to enter into the polarity,
The duality,
And the consciousness that you can have both.
You can be both angry and frustrated and loving and kind and understanding and compassionate.
You can say,
I don't like this,
And at the same time understand that there is a utopian place of likeness,
Of agreement,
Of compassion.
You can say,
You can feel,
Okay,
You can feel I'm hurt,
I'm angry,
I'm frustrated,
And yet have compassion for the person on the other side who is frustrating you,
Hurting you,
Or creating fear.
You can have both,
But you have to actualize both.
You have to actualize both.
And in most cases,
This is confusing for the other person.
They're like,
Wait,
What?
Why are you loving me and saying you're hurt at the same time?
This is manipulative.
This is two faced.
This does not have to be true,
But you have to be true to yourself.
So instead of saying that,
We have a tendency to say,
Oh,
I understand how you feel,
But you really hurt my feelings.
That sounds like,
But it's not.
So in adversity,
You're allowed to say,
You know what?
What you just did pisses me off.
I'm angry.
I'm hurt.
However,
I would like you to state your case because I think you have something to say.
However,
The tragedy and yet the challenge around this is that the other person has to comply.
They have to say,
I hear you.
I hear that you're hurt.
And yes,
I do have something to say,
And I want to say this.
That is not always the case.
It's almost to the time we just avoid that conversation whatsoever.
But I'm asking you to step out of the limbo and state your case.
Not with hurtful words.
You don't be angry without being hurtful or,
You know,
Righteous.
You could say,
You said this to me and that hurts me.
You don't have to validate it.
You don't have to actualize it by saying word for word what they said and how that hurt you.
You say hurts.
It hurts.
And often they may not comply.
But you are planting a seed,
A seed on two levels,
Their level of understanding you and a level of you understanding yourself.
Because most often than not,
You will move forward and look back at your response and go,
Oh,
Maybe I should have said it differently.
I'm feeling different now that I've expressed it.
And then you're allowed to continue that conversation.
So,
Hey,
You know what?
I said something a few weeks ago and I would like to continue this conversation because ultimately we are from a place of love.
And you always have to remember that.
I'm doing this because I love myself.
I'm doing this because I love you.
I'm doing this because I come from a place of love.
And therefore you're no longer in limbo,
Are you?
You're coming from a place of love.
If they are not coming from a place of love,
Then we have to wait.
We have to learn non-attachment and compassion,
Which is what we're all here to learn.
Something to ponder.
Namaste.
