When You're Grieving Who You Used To Be | Selfgentle 30

This episode is part of the Two Minutes of Self-gentleness with Femke series. Growth has a grief in it that doesn't always get named. It is not mourning something bad, but feeling the tenderness of having left behind a version of yourself that kept you safe for a long time. This episode sits with that particular loss and offers gentleness toward the person you were, as well as the person you are becoming. If you would like to explore self-gentleness more deeply, you can find Femke's Self-gentleness courses on Insight Timer. You are also warmly invited to join Femke's Self-gentleness Hour, a free live session on Insight Timer every second Friday of the month.

Transcript

Welcome to two minutes of self gentleness with femke when you notice that you are growing as a person. You might experience some grief. Not because something bad happened. But there can be some grief of leaving behind a version of yourself that kept you safe. That version that you lived for a long time. Because you felt it was you. Maybe that was the role of the person who never asks for too much. Someone who holds everything together. Someone who believed that being needed is the same as being loved. And you can know that that version of you had to change. But you can still feel tender about that part of you. Because That part of you did. What they could. With what they had. Doing their best. Insights believes that We're not chosen. It were beliefs that were inherited, Absorbed, Built around yourself. You're not betraying that part of you by becoming a part of it. Something different. You're just completed. What once started. And that part of you that was there for you making sure that you could survive whatever was going on That part, Even when you leave it behind, Deserves your gentleness too. Now I will affirm this for you, So you can listen to my voice or even say the words after me. I can grieve who I was. Without wishing I hadn't changed. The version of me I've moved beyond deserves care too. Growth and loss can exist in the same moment. I honor where I came from while I move towards something that is more true for me. I'm allowed to feel tender about the person I used to be. I am the most important person to consistently deserve my own gentleness. Dear friend, You can come back to this, Anytime. I will be here, Waiting for you.

Reviews

Thank you 💜🙏

Oh…wow. Wow!
That was unexpectedly… magnificent.
I didn’t know that I needed to hear these very things, nor did I yet have the language to even comprehend of, or I daresay talk to…some of my ‘Former Selves’<plural>. I am beginning to understand that there are a good many of them, and I now regard them as a full army company of allies and supporters, for this journey we call life. How utterly wonderful.

The advice and affirmations are so deeply heartfelt and spot on, I felt myself moved to do separate sessions for each of my former selves—these mental image beings that Femke explains in this expert SelfGentleness®️ session—which is immediately one of my absolute favorites.

Thank goodness for this absolute goodness. 🙌🏼🙂‍↕️

A soothing voice with a soothing message🪷Thsnk you❣️