The Pressure To Be Better | Selfgentle 08

This episode is part of the Two Minutes of Selfgentleness with Femke series.

There can be a subtle pressure to improve, optimize, and become a better version of yourself.

In these two minutes, we gently question the idea that you must fix yourself in order to deserve kindness.

Selfgentleness allows growth without self-rejection.

This short reflection and affirmation practice supports you in softening performance pressure and relating to yourself with steadiness.

If you want to explore selfgentleness more deeply, you can start with my course Start Living Selfgentle Today here on Insight Timer.

You are also welcome to join Femke’s Selfgentleness Hour every second Friday of the month.

You can come back to this anytime.

Transcript

Welcome to two minutes of self-gentleness with Femke. Perhaps you recognize that feeling of pressure that you sometimes feel to improve, To optimize yourself, To become a better version of who you are right now. And yes, Growth is beautiful, But continuing to try to improve yourself can also mean that you keep rejecting who you are right now. If you are always trying to become better, You may never really allow yourself to simply be, Be who you are, Right now, Warts and all. I've been there. For a long time in my past, I tried to improve myself. And it looks ambitious on the outside, But inside, It can feel restless, As if you will never get where you want to be. This is where self-gentleness begins. I don't need to improve myself in order to be worthy. I can grow without rejecting myself. I'm always deserving gentleness. Nothing has gone wrong. I can allow myself to be who I am. Sit with this for a moment and just know, You can come back to this anytime.

Reviews

Lovely!
This, I needed to hear. Or, rather, have gently reinforced. This life message seems to keep re-presenting itself to me, continuously. That’s how things work, I suppose; we keep getting greeted by the same lesson, until we ultimately absorb and integrate its meaning for us.
Thank you, good doctor. Your work is ever nourishing and instructive, and I’m delighted to have discovered you here on I.T.
(P.S. My favorite track of yours to put on when I’m feeling poorly, physically, is your soothing, gentle healing track [I can’t recall its precise title]. It’s always brought me some comfort, and lessened the feeling of being ill at ease. 🙏🏼)

This was really good for my hurting heart. Thank you!

Thank you for this. The idea that we need to be fixed is so pervasive. I have had the need to be better message confused with always wanting to feel better. A faster route to the second idea is self gentleness. I can allow the first one to fade a bit.