She believed her mind.
Melanie secretly thought that she wasn't a very nice person.
She gauged this because of the judgements that her mind would make about other people,
Friends,
Family members,
And particularly random people in the street.
She attributed these judgements as a reflection of who she was as a person.
Even though it was her mind that gave her these thoughts,
Her mind continued to tell her that she was a judgemental and non-likable person.
Because of this,
Melanie kept her thoughts a secret.
One time when Melanie was out having drinks with her friends,
She heard the term non-judgmental being made in a passing conversation.
She'd heard this before and it sounded great.
In being non-judgmental,
She could finally have some peace from her judging mind.
But this seemed a million miles away to her because these thoughts never seemed to stop.
She therefore struggled with this concept of being non-judgmental because she could never turn her judgements off.
How do I stop my mind from thinking,
Thought her mind that was thinking.
Melanie decided to download this very app within your hands and began learning a little about the human mind.
She realised that most of her judgements were automatic,
They just appeared.
And they had originally come from outside of her.
These thoughts had simply been programmed into her from the experiences that she'd picked up along the way.
These judgements that haunted her had been programmed into her from films and shows she'd seen on TV,
Things she'd read in magazines and the people that she'd met in her life.
Melanie tucked into the read section within this app.
She found that it wasn't too hard to read,
All the concepts had been broken down simply.
She loved the way that it was written.
She soon learned how her judgements came from associations to things that she had experienced,
Such as things people had said,
Certain things people wore,
Certain ways people acted and so on.
She learned that it was normal to have unhelpful judgements about someone she hadn't even met before.
She recognised that this is a defence mechanism to size people up and to put them in either one or two camps.
The They're Like Me camp or the They're Not Like Me camp.
She now knows that our brains have evolved this way to either separate us off from others or to connect us to others.
She knows that our brains have a negative bias when sifting through experiences in life.
This is because years ago the people around us were even more of a threat.
She now doesn't take her judgements so seriously.
They're just caveman thoughts.
She notices them if and when they arise.
She says to herself,
That's what my mind's saying,
I am not my thoughts.
And she gently reconnects with what's going on around her.
And sometimes,
Just sometimes,
She connects with the odd person that her mind has judged.
She does this out of curiosity.
Then from time to time she actually gets to disconfirm what her mind initially said about this particular person.
Over time the judgements she experiences don't occur as much as they used to.
Why is this?
Because she opened up to them.
She noticed them as just normal thoughts.
She made space for them,
Allowing them to be there when they came up.
And when they did,
She didn't take them so seriously.
She gave them less energy in doing so.
Giving her judgements energy,
Or wishing that she didn't have them,
Was only making them stronger.
Over time she has therefore come to know that her judgements are just a part of a normal human experience.
Even though not many people in her life talk about this stuff.
By seeing her judgements for what they are,
That is,
Just thoughts,
Not a representation of who she is as a person,
She doesn't buy into them.
They lose their impact.
She now recognizes these familiar thinking patterns as they play out.
As a result,
She feels more free.
She has choice over her thoughts,
Instead of being controlled by them.
At times she even laughs at her mind,
Because it's just doing its job.
And laughing at her mind from time to time helps her move forward in leaps and bounds.
She is now excited about this potential for growth and change that she's embarking on.
It's simple.
Just notice my thoughts that are not helpful and recognize that they are my mind and not who I am,
She says to herself.
In the moment of noticing,
Of observing,
She feels empowered because she knows that she is changing herself and in doing so,
Making a small but significant change to humanity.
Now she treats herself differently.
There's less of a furrow on her face.
She's no longer caught up as much in her thoughts.
And she's committing to practicing the mindfulness triangle every morning because that is one of the best ways to help her as she goes about her day.
