Sitting With Difficult Emotions Part 2 - Next Steps

In this talk, we discuss why it’s important for us to feel all of our feelings and how failing to do so can physically make us sick. We begin to understand that most deep feelings will pass in less than 20 minutes when we sit with them and observe them as the witness. Practical tips are offered to help reparent ourselves through difficult emotions.

Transcript

Let's talk a little bit about why it's essential that we actually feel our feelings. So first and foremost, Is when we don't, It makes us sick. And I am talking about actually physically sick. So this may mean auto immune diseases develop certain types of cancer in certain places in your body, Art issues, Stroke, We know that stress in and of itself can lead to medical issues. But a lot and hear me correctly, I'm not saying all, But a lot of the major illnesses that we deal with as society and as people is because the energy is getting stuck in us and we're not letting it flow out of us. And what does our body do when that happens? It keeps screaming louder and louder and louder because it's trying to get your attention. It's trying to tell you we need you to see us to hear us to experience us so we can flow out. So energy gets stuck. And we hold on to it because we aren't letting it go through us, Which is the natural process. For our bodies, The natural process is allowing the energy to move through us. If you sit with most emotions or feelings, I use of interchangeably, They're technically different, But for the sake of this, We're going to use both. If you sit with most feelings that arise, They will pass within 20 minutes. That's it. It's that simple. And I'm going to give you some tips on how to do that because there was a time when I would sit and try to let my feelings come up and arise. And I thought I was going to die, Right? Like, It's like, Oh gosh, It's so much pain. There's so much intensity. But when you sit with it and you learn to be with it a little bit at a time, I'm not saying go sit with your feelings for 20 minutes right now, A little bit at a time over time, As you sit with it, It releases and you get freedom, True freedom that allows you to have the peace you actually are looking for. And all of that is done within yourself. So I want to give you an example. If you've ever seen videos of animals being attacked, Like in the wild, For example, What do they do immediately after they survived the attack? If you watch these videos, And they're all over YouTube, The animal will stand up and it will shake viscerally shake from head to toe. Why? To let the energy move through them and release and we are animals, Humans are animals. That's what we're supposed to do. Stop, Let it move through us so that it can release because holding on to it doesn't help us. It leads to armoring in your shoulders and your back pain in your back. It may lead to pain in your legs or like a feeling that you need to run physically run. Because maybe that's the movement at some point in your life that you needed to complete. Maybe something happened and you needed to run away but you froze. Your body is asking for you to now run. That may look like feeling into that moment gently 1% at a time in your mind and then literally taking off running and work out close so that people don't think something's going on. Taking off running down your street or in the park or on a sidewalk. Just run, Tap into that feeling gently, Easily, Momentarily and then do what needs to be done in order for it to complete. So I want to talk about how we can get started with this and then I'm going to share a little bit about some of the things that I've done to help calm the little girl inside of me. Because that's what we're doing. We're basically reparenting the little kid inside of us that in some way or another didn't get what they needed and that's okay. We all have this experience in some way or another. The thing that's important to know when getting started is you can start slow. Even if it's only five minutes a day. All you have to do is stop, Sit down, Place your hand on your heart and ask yourself how you feel and then allow whatever comes up to be okay. So right now I may ask myself, All right, Get calm, Get quiet, Let my mind get quiet, Let my body get still. Stillness is so important in this practice. Take a couple centering breaths. Let me like, What do I feel right now? What do I feel right now? And a lot of things may come up. Maybe what comes up is you feel excited. Maybe you feel overwhelmed. Maybe you feel threatened or fearful. Maybe you feel anxious. Maybe you feel happy. Whatever you feel is okay. Just let it come up. Let it come up to be witnessed. That's all it needs is for you to witness it. And if you have trouble allowing that feeling to come up in a way that allows you to witness it without being sucked in by it, Then imagine taking that feeling and putting it in a ball in your hand. And you're looking at the feeling as an observer. So you're separate from it. And maybe at the beginning, You just start by saying, I see you pain. I just want you to know I see you. And as you do that, What you're going to notice is your body is going to release a little bit of energy. That may come out through a deep breath or a deep sigh. It may come out as a yawn. And again, All you have to do is just say I see you. Five minutes a day. Even that little bit can help calm your nervous system a little bit around whatever you're feeling. And then over time, You can add up to the point where you can see that feeling. You can understand it, You can send it love. You can thank it for the ways that it served you and probably help keep you alive. But for now, All you have to do is look at it. Separate from it. Name it. I see you, Anxiety. I see you. I see you and I feel where you're coming up in my body. I see you. And it's okay. You're allowed to be there. That can literally work miracles when it comes to helping people feel better. That can literally work miracles when it comes to helping that energy start to move through you. There's several things similar to this that I've done to help the little girl inside of me or when difficult emotions and feelings come up. And sometimes it really just depends upon where I am in the moment, Right? So something may come up and all I may need to do is go outside, Take my shoes off, Put my bare feet on the ground, Take some deep breaths, And just imagine the heaviness, Whatever I'm feeling being released into the earth below me, Where it can be held and recycled for good, For good of everyone in society. And at other times, It may literally look like getting in the rocking chair that I have in my chair that I have in my room, Wrapping up in a blanket and just crying and letting that be okay. Like, And if I can only handle that for five minutes, Maybe I set an alarm on my phone. I'm like, All right, I'm going to sit with this feeling for five minutes. And I just sit there and I'll let it be okay. And I rock. And then I take a deep breath. And I realized that some energy moved. I've watched calming nursery rhyme videos off of YouTube one night, Just to get the little girl inside of me to calm because I felt like she just needed rocked or soothed. You know, I've had clients basically start painting, Like they just felt like the little girl inside of them wanted to paint or wanted to color. Sometimes it's dance, Like, I just want to dance. It doesn't have to be a professional dance, You just shake. Allow your body to move. Whatever it is, May you provide that gentleness to yourself and provide that safe space to start allowing those difficult emotions to start to move through you to allowing them to be so that they can move through you. So it's all about reparenting the little one inside of you who needs to be reminded that she or he is safe and loved and can feel what they need to be feeling at the same time. What they feel is okay. How they feel is okay. It is all okay. And as you make space for that, You'll be amazed to see over time, How doing that allows you to move through stagnant energy that's been there for a very long time.