This is a guided exercise for changing your relationship with anticipatory anxiety.
When our brain doesn't know what's happening next or when there's something big on the horizon,
It does love to create stories in order to try to best understand what's going to happen so that we can be prepared.
As always,
As we do this exercise,
I'll invite you to welcome in that soothing,
Havening touch,
Palm against palm,
As though you're washing your hands under warm water,
Crossing your arms across your chest,
Fingertips on your shoulders and moving them gently down your arms,
Or fingertips across your brow and circling around your eyes.
The shift caused by the soothing,
Havening touch will deepen the experience that you're going to be witnessing during this exercise.
To begin,
Let's start with a gentle breath in.
I'll count and feel free to breathe along to your own breath counts.
Breathing in to a count of 4,
3,
2,
1,
And out to a count of 6,
5,
4,
3,
2,
1,
Beautiful.
Now at any point in time,
It is inevitable that there is something that is going to be happening that we are not sure what the outcome could be like.
Anything as simple from a commute home,
Will there be traffic,
To something as major as giving a major presentation or having a complicated conversation with a loved one.
All of these situations could spur a little bit of anticipatory anxiety because when our system doesn't know what's going to happen,
And especially if we've had difficult experiences tied to whatever is upcoming but have happened in the past,
Our little friend Amy the Amygdala loves to get involved.
So for this example,
Let's imagine a simple scenario.
Invite you to imagine our particularly traffic filled commute home,
Maybe rain on a day where you had big plans and you're going to have to change or stop those plans.
Something that could pop up and disrupt what you expected regarding something that is usually simple.
And as you invite your mind to notice this new experience of something that's usually just fine being changed by unknown variables in the world around you,
Invite your attention now to turn inwards.
When your brain is expecting or even creating a new narrative around something that hasn't happened yet,
It can go in one of two directions.
The narrative may cause feelings of uncertainty,
Stress,
Or worry,
Or it may result in experiences of curiosity and excitement.
I prompted you with a slightly less than preferable imaginal journey.
As you notice that imaginal journey with that slightly less than preferable experience,
I'll invite you now to shift your framework into one of curiosity and interest.
When uncertainty looms,
Our Amygdala really does struggle and with intentional intention we can change the narrative.
What if questions,
The planting of the seeds for creating possibilities,
Create a new electrochemical change that the Amygdala does participate in and also harnesses our brain's natural desire to like to answer questions so we can use this to create an intentional shift in a moment of anticipatory anxiety?
What feeling state would you prefer to have in a moment where you're feeling anxious or uncertain?
And if you're not quite sure,
Go back to that experience of the very heavy traffic unexpectedly showing up on the way home,
Maybe derailing your plans because now you're late,
Or rain on an unexpected day causing a complete change in what you planned on doing that day.
What feeling state for you would change the feeling of anxiety and create space or even shift your system into a different framework?
I know for me,
Getting curious about opportunities is always very helpful.
What if there was an unexpected opportunity that shows up in any moment?
What if I could find a way to manage the situation differently?
As somebody who hates to run late,
That's a particularly tricky one for my own Amygdala.
What if I can harness the space within the rain to create a new fun adventure?
Try on a few what ifs of your own,
Inviting your mind to gently start to explore how you can change the narrative of worry into an experience of curiosity,
Opportunity,
Even joy about exploring the unknown.
Our friend Amy the Amygdala loves to keep us safe and on her own,
She will guide us towards worry or rumination or fear.
Yet when we partner with her,
We can guide her towards another critical thing that she helps us do,
Which is thrive,
To explore the world from a state of openness and safety.
As you're exploring your what ifs,
If you find one to be particularly supportive or correct in this moment for how you'd prefer to feel,
Then invite your mind to repeat that what if inquiry.
You can even strengthen your brain's internal search engine for the what ifs by changing the intonations,
What if,
What if,
What if,
And encouraging your mind to explore it even more deeply.
Our brain and our body responds so much to the sensory data of the world around us,
And we can harness that opportunity through the power of the havening,
Touch,
And intentional attention to build the brain we want to live with.
The next time you notice anticipatory anxiety or uncertainty starting to guide your journey to take your brain and go in a direction that Amy the Amygdala's fearful stories are buried in,
I invite you to welcome in this havening touch and begin a what if exploration of how you can intentionally shift the narrative and build a new way forward.
You truly do hold the power for healing in your hands.
