Settle into stillness now.
Allow your body to rest,
However feels most comforting.
If you'd like,
Place one hand on your heart,
The other can just rest in your lap or hold your other hand as if to remind yourself,
I am here,
I am holding myself.
Take a slow breath and let it go.
Take another,
There's no rush,
No expectation,
Only this moment,
This sanctuary where you don't have to be anything other than how you are.
In your mind's eye,
Imagine you are walking into a woodland.
It is lush and green,
Soft moss beneath your feet,
The kind that cushions each step.
Tall trees stand like guardians,
Their branches swaying gently in the breeze.
The sunlight breaks through the canopy in scattered beams,
Dancing across the ground.
Butterflies drift lazily in the air,
Their wings catching the light.
This woodland is for you.
It is your sanctuary,
Where no one asks you to be stronger than you are,
Where no one asks you to move on,
And where no mask is needed.
Here you are free to simply be.
Take a seat on a log or a stone softened by moss.
Feel how the earth holds you up,
Steady beneath you.
Notice the air,
Cool,
Alive,
Filled with the scents of leaves,
Earth and flowers.
Let yourself exhale into the safety of this place.
In this woodland,
You do not have to hide from the truth of your grief.
The pain of losing a baby,
Whether through miscarriage at any stage,
Stillbirth or afterbirth,
Is a pain beyond words.
And grief is not just the moment of loss,
It lives on in ripples.
Every reminder can feel like a fresh wound,
And you may have heard words from others that cut deep.
It wasn't meant to be,
Just try again.
And I'm sorry that you've heard those words.
I heard them too.
Grief arrives during the loudness of the days and the quietness of the nights.
It arrives on due dates etched quietly into your heart.
On Christmas,
Easter,
Family gatherings,
It comes when you see other parents holding their babies,
And it comes when you see people who don't even seem to want theirs.
But here,
In this space of holding you,
We name the truth.
We do not run from grief,
We do not hide.
We sit with it.
We sit with it all.
And maybe the hardest part is sitting with the fear of grief.
The belief that if we let it in,
It will consume us.
But when you dare to sit with it,
When you let yourself feel what you've been so afraid of,
You begin to see the truth.
Grief is not here to destroy you.
Grief is the shape love takes when someone is missing.
It is love that has nowhere to go,
So it remains within you.
It does not ask to be erased.
It does not ask to be healed.
It asks to be carried,
Gently,
Kindly,
As part of you.
This is not about letting go.
It is about learning to live with both love and absence in the same heart.
To walk with both joy and sorrow,
Side by side.
Grief becomes a companion,
Sometimes heavy,
Sometimes quiet,
But always present because love never truly leaves.
And maybe the most important truth is that grief is not the enemy of joy.
You can cry and laugh in the very same breath,
You can ache and still feel moments of beauty.
You can miss your baby with all of you and still let the sun warm your face.
One does not cancel the other.
Grief doesn't erase joy and joy doesn't betray grief.
They simply live together in you because your heart is wide enough to hold them both.
So when grief rises,
When it knocks at your chest and you're afraid of its weight,
Remember this,
It is only love.
Love transformed and love is never something you need to run from.
So instead of running,
Take grief by the hand,
Let it walk with you.
And although it may feel heavy at times,
It may overwhelm you.
Know that that is not proof of weakness,
It is proof of love,
That love has met you.
And just as love for your baby has no ending,
Neither does grief.
Yet it is not something to fear,
For in time it changes,
Softens in sharp places,
But it remains a thread woven into the fabric of your life.
I have held hands with my grief for many years,
And she is now my friend.
She helps me see and feel like no one else ever could.
Each day she arrives in her many forms,
But now she lives within me as deep compassion and understanding,
And I never thought I would feel that.
Hold your hands out,
Palms up.
Let grief place her hands within yours.
Let grief become a part of you and your healing.
You never had to choose between moving on and feeling the pain you carry.
You can carry both together.
You can laugh and cry.
You can feel joy and sadness.
You can hold love for your baby and still live.
Now take a moment to look around.
Notice the butterflies landing gently on the flowers,
The roses blooming in the sunlight,
The teardrops that might have fallen from your eyes,
Glistening like dew on leaves.
Perhaps in these small things you can feel a presence.
Perhaps your baby lives in these moments,
In the butterfly that rests for just a second,
In the unfolding of a flower,
In the teardrop that holds so much love.
You don't have to believe it,
But if you want to,
You can let these reminders become sacred signs that love never leaves,
That the bond between you and your baby is eternal.
It is not easy to live after loss.
You may find it hard to be around others,
Hard to join celebrations,
Hard to walk through supermarkets filled with baby clothes,
Or hear announcements of new arrivals.
Every day life holds hurdles that others may not see,
And yet you are here,
Still waking,
Still breathing,
Still holding love in your heart.
That alone is extraordinary strength.
If tears rise,
Let them.
There is no wrong time to cry.
Whether your loss was today or 50 years ago,
The tears are allowed.
The tears are necessary.
Crying is not weakness.
Crying is not failure.
Each tear is a message.
Remember,
I will never forget.
Now take a moment to look around your woodland sanctuary.
The moss,
The trees,
The butterflies,
The flowers.
This place will always be here for you.
A place where you can come and grieve and cry.
And when you're ready to return,
Place both hands over your heart.
Feel its steady rhythm.
Feel your breath moving in and out.
And gently whisper to yourself,
I am allowed to grieve.
I am allowed to live.
I can hold both love and loss within me.
So take one last breath if you're ready.
And softly let this vision fade,
Bringing with you the truth that grief does not mean the end of love.
It means love continues as part of you forever.
