When we know ourself as awareness,
We naturally act in ways that contribute to and benefit the whole.
Relationships are not me in the midst of friends,
Family members or a partner,
But rather I-awareness expressed through everyone currently gathered together.
When we identify with the separate body-mind,
Often we think what is best for me,
How do I benefit from this,
What do I receive when I am here with this person or with these people.
But when we see that the body-mind is not who we are and that there is a shared being,
A shared awareness that is always there when two or more people meet,
Then we can speak and act from this higher perspective.
In this recording,
I will speak specifically about romantic relationships.
At the beginning of such a relationship,
When there is a strong connection,
It is natural to think on behalf of the shared being.
But over time,
As the relationship evolves,
The separate self begins to return again in both people.
While at first the similarities are obvious,
Over time it is the differences that also become clear.
The relationships that last are those in which both partners are committed to each other and to processing all that is being triggered in their individual separate selves.
So you,
As part of this partnership,
Have two things to do.
The first one,
When your partner is feeling unheard,
Unseen,
Different,
Try not to resist this,
But rather to understand it.
Be there,
Support the healing process,
Let the thoughts and emotions unfold,
Let them say what they have to say.
A good metaphor for what is happening in those cases is that you are lying in bed together and your partner is pulling the cover towards them.
Do not start pulling in your direction,
Instead go closer to your partner so that it still covers both of you.
The second thing to do is that when you are resisting what is happening,
Mentally or emotionally or both,
Sit with these feelings,
Do not project them on your partner straight away.
Try to see with clarity first and then express what needs to be expressed.
Let your partner support you through your healing journey.
So instead of going back to your separate self,
To what you are used to,
To your conditioning,
Start thinking as though you and your partner share one mind,
One heart,
One gut,
One root.
And from this shared being,
Find what to say,
How to act,
What to offer,
What to suggest.
Romantic partnerships offer the opportunity for the deepest healing because being close to someone for many years means that they are a beautiful and perfect reflection of you.
So when you look at them,
You are looking at a part of you that is maybe not being seen clearly,
That is there to be integrated,
To be realigned with the whole.
And when you both successfully complete this process of seeing as one being,
Then you will experience the love that you felt at first in a more balanced,
Grounded and lasting way.
Thank you for listening.
