I want to talk to you about belonging.
The three dimensions of belonging to be specific.
And this is a topic I've been thinking about a lot lately.
I was recently in Melbourne.
This was a city I used to live in in 2019 to 2020.
And I had to leave during the pandemic when I lost my job and my visa in Australia.
And within two weeks,
I had to pack my bag and leave.
And I never really had closure because at that time,
The regulations were very strict,
So we weren't even allowed to say goodbye to friends.
We couldn't even go out.
For a last walk into the city to say goodbye.
Nothing like that.
So I felt like that chapter was always very open and didn't really have a closure.
And when I lived in Melbourne,
It was the first time that I really felt like,
Wow,
This really feels like home.
The place I was living in,
I loved it so much.
It's still one of my favorite places that I've ever lived in.
We lived on the 59th floor of a 94 floor building and had this amazing amazing view over the city with the mountains in the background and at night it looked like you were in a plane,
You know,
When you see all the little lights.
It was just beautiful.
And it was also the first apartment where my husband and I lived in together.
So it was always,
It's always going to be a special place for me.
And then recently I went back to Melbourne and saw that building again.
And it was always like a landmark for me.
When I would be walking around the city and was going to find my way home,
I would just look up and see the building there in the distance because it was so high.
And I was like,
OK,
Now I know how I can find my way home.
So I was looking again at that building and reminiscing of the life I used to live in there and the beautiful apartment that we used to have and how I changed since then.
How much has happened moving to the Netherlands,
Then moving back to Australia,
Also getting married in between and starting my business.
Lots of things happened in those six years since I left.
So I was just staring at that building and really thinking about that time.
And it was a bittersweet feeling.
It was almost this feeling of nostalgia.
And of missing a part of me that used to be there,
But also realizing,
Oh,
I'm not the same person anymore.
I've changed.
So it made me think about this topic of belonging.
And how it can sometimes feel like we attach that feeling of belonging to a place.
Or when you think about belonging,
You might think,
Oh,
It's about the people I surround myself with,
The community,
The friends,
My family,
All of those relationships.
But I like to say that belonging has three dimensions.
So that's what I want to dive into with you today.
You could see it as three circles around each other,
And the inner circle is the first dimension that is belonging within yourself.
Then the circle around it is belonging towards others.
And the outer circle is belonging to something greater than yourself.
So let's dive into all three of these circles and then bring them all together and see what resonates most with you today.
So the first circle,
Belonging to yourself,
I feel like that's really the foundation of everything.
It's finding that home within yourself.
And if you have been following my content and what I do in my coaching as well,
You know I talk a lot about this topic,
This home within yourself.
Because for me,
This is really the foundation of life.
It's really about creating this space within yourself where you just feel completely at ease,
Where you are your most authentic self,
Where you don't have to adjust or adapt or have doubts about if you're good enough,
If you're worthy,
What other people might think of you,
All of that external noise that can really hold us back,
It doesn't exist in this place of home.
This is like you're really,
You're cozy.
Place where you can just fully be yourself.
At least that's how I see it.
That's the place where.
.
.
You have unpacked all those layers that are on top of who you would really like to be in your fullest expression,
In your fullest potential.
That's where you find your courage,
Your resilience,
Your confidence,
Your full presence.
And that's where you really feel fully alive.
So that's how I see this inner circle of belonging fully to yourself.
To your highest expression of yourself.
Then the layer outside of that.
Is belonging to others.
So this is where you connect with others.
This is where you want to be part or feel like you're part of a community,
Your tribe.
If you would like to call it that.
The people you spend time with,
Your friends,
Your family,
Your life partner perhaps,
Perhaps children if you have them.
So all the people around you that impact your day-to-day,
But also people who perhaps inspire you or people you work with.
For example,
Someone like me as a coach who works with you or a therapist or some type of healer or whoever it might be that supports you in your daily life as well.
So that's what can give you a sense of belonging as well,
Feeling like you're part of this community,
This group of people,
And that you feel seen,
That you feel heard,
That you feel supported,
And that you feel accepted.
That's where that feeling of belonging comes from as well.
And then there's the outer layer.
Belonging to something greater than yourself.
So this could be all types of things.
You could think,
For example,
About nature.
I often experience this when I go to the ocean.
I love the ocean.
And when I look over the ocean or when I swim in the ocean,
I feel like I'm part of something so much bigger.
This never-ending space of blue,
The deep blue,
And feeling so mesmerized by it.
And especially when I go scuba diving,
That's one of my favorite things to do.
I really feel this sense of awe that I'm like,
Wow,
I'm part of this.
I'm not separate from it.
This is life.
I am part of this life.
And it's such a special feeling.
Perhaps you've had this feeling as well when you were traveling and,
For example,
You see this beautiful massive waterfall or you're standing on the top of a mountain and you look around and you're like,
Wow,
This feeling of awe and feel like,
Whoa,
I'm actually such a small part of this immense planet that I'm on.
So that could be one way to feel like you belong to something greater than yourself.
You could also see it in a more spiritual way.
You could say like,
OK,
Think about the universe or source or God,
However you want to call it,
Or perhaps more in a religious way,
Whatever resonates with you.
And it's really about connecting to something beyond you to feel like,
Oh,
I'm not just this individual walking around on this planet.
I'm actually part of something bigger.
And then what really happens is that often we focus on one of those things.
Most people focus mostly on the circle of belonging towards the people around us.
Then there are people who are also focusing on belonging to something greater than yourself,
Whether it's intentional or whether it just happens.
And then there's the part that is maybe less known,
This home within yourself,
Where you really go on this journey of inner exploration.
So this is where I believe belonging really happens.
When you can find this home within yourself and really feel it,
When you feel connected to the people around you,
And when you feel like you're part of something bigger than yourself,
When you can integrate all of these three dimensions in your life,
That's when I believe your life can really feel whole.
So I want to invite you on this reflection and measure how all of these three dimensions are for you in your life right now.
If you would give them a rating from 0 to 10,
And 10 is that you feel completely connected with it,
How would you rate them?
How would you rate this inner circle of home,
Belonging towards yourself,
Home within yourself?
And how would you rate the second circle of belonging to others,
Belonging to this community,
To people?
And then how would you rate the outer circle of belonging to something greater than yourself?
And do you feel when you're doing these ratings that one.
.
.
Category one dimension is more present in your life right now?
Do you feel there's a good balance between the three of them?
Or do you feel like you have been giving one of them more priority than another one?
And there's no right or wrong with this.
It's just really an exploration you can do,
An inner discovery to feel like what this sense of belonging means to you.
And if you have been feeling that you're lacking this sense of belonging,
This can be a great way to reflect on where it might be missing in your life.
Perhaps you have been feeling lonely and you can discover,
Okay,
Where is this loneliness coming from?
Is it because.
.
.
I lack a social life or I'm not feeling so connected with the people I have in my life.
Or is it perhaps because I still have a lot of fears and doubts and I feel like I'm not fully showing up as myself.
I feel like I'm holding myself back and feeling small.
So in a sense there's a bit of disconnect and I feel like I'm not fully living my life how I want to live it.
Then there might be some work to do in that inner circle of home within.
Or perhaps you feel like,
Hmm,
I don't really feel connected to something bigger than myself.
I never go out in nature or I never have experiences that really make me feel like I'm in awe.
Or perhaps you have been looking for more of a.
.
.
A practice to connect with,
For example,
Your higher self or the universe.
And you're like,
Maybe I should explore this and start journaling or meditating to connect with that part of me.
So it could be all different things,
But it's really interesting to explore what this means to you and to see what shows up.
And just to wrap this up,
I think belonging is not a destination.
It's an inner practice that we can do and that is ongoing.
It's a journey in itself.
So there won't be a moment that you feel like,
Oh,
OK,
Now this is it.
I found it.
And then it will stay that way.
It's in continuous evolution,
Like we're always doing all the time.
We're moving from one chapter to the next chapter.
So it's very interesting to keep on re-evaluating this and to understand that it's not a destination to reach,
But that it's really this ongoing journey and that it's a practice that you can implement in your life.
So how do you do this specifically?
In the coming days,
Just Do something that fits into these three dimensions.
So for example,
Perhaps you want to go on a walk and see how that inspires you to feel more connected to your surroundings.
Or perhaps you want to call a friend and have a really good conversation and feel connected to that person.
Or perhaps you just want to sit with yourself?
In a beautiful meditation or do some journaling or have a moment of just sipping a tea in silence and see what shows up to find that home within yourself.
So this is my invitation to take one step and see what shows up.
And thank you so much for listening and I will see you in the next one.
