My Buddhist teacher and mentor Rob Priest,
Who's also a psychotherapist,
Writes in his book Chinresi Our parents' capacity to offer compassionate presence and love to us as an infant and from the moment of conception through birth and into our early years of life can determine how we develop our sense of self.
For many of us this early experience was not ideal as we may have lacked the safe compassionate environment we needed.
As children our sensitivity to the undercurrents and emotional dynamics of the environment in which we grow up can have a considerable impact upon us.
As a consequence we will often interject in an environment that is not kind and compassionate but harsh anxious and critical.
Many of us from our very young childhood have kept an unconscious lack of self-value,
Feelings that we are not good enough or even that we are not lovable.
To cultivate heartfelt self-acceptance and love we often need to begin to heal these areas of our psychological nature that may be obstructing the natural expression of these feelings.
The idea of our inner child can be a good place to start when considering the process of healing and can be a valuable way of understanding ourselves more deeply.
Sometimes it's not easy or comfortable to get in touch with your inner child.
It can put us in touch with painful feelings or memories but if we can heal and restore this relationship it can be very soothing.
It's important to hold this process for yourself with kindness and sensitivity.
We'll do a meditation practice called Tonglen which is a very gentle process that allows us to touch into and heal our inner child.
Although it is very gentle it may bring up strong feelings for you and if it does it's important to allow these feelings to be as they are and to move through with a quality of kindness and compassion.
So before we begin the meditation find yourself somewhere comfortable to sit.
It's beneficial to sit with your back straight and tall but don't be too rigid.
Allow a sense of movement in your body.
As you start to settle bring your awareness in to become aware of your breath.
Get aware of your breath within your body.
You could notice the air coming in and out of your nostrils or your throat.
I quite like to be aware of the feelings and sensations of my lungs,
Ribs and abdomen rising and falling with each in-breath and each out-breath.
Just kind of allow yourself to rest and be present in your body.
Inquisitive of feelings and sensations within your body as you breathe.
Now move your awareness slightly to become aware of your out-breath as a resting and settling breath and as you follow each out-breath down allow it to guide you into a deeper and quieter relaxation with each out-breath.
Become aware of the ground of your being.
Notice the weight of your legs and your body on the ground.
Notice the feelings and sensations of the ground or the cushion or the chair pushing up from below you.
Notice the feeling of the ground really supporting you and holding you as you relax.
And notice if you're really allowing yourself to trust that sense of ground and allow your whole body to deeply relax into it.
And allow your whole body to deeply relax into it.
Whenever you become distracted,
Don't worry about it.
There's no need to judge yourself.
There's no need to push thoughts away.
When you notice it,
See if you can just let go of the thought.
Allow it to float away to wherever it wants to go and then gently bring your awareness back to your breath and allow yourself to settle and relax into feelings and sensations in your body as you breathe.
Quiet,
Present awareness.
As you relax,
You notice this small,
Warm,
Radiant sphere of light in your heart.
And it can be whatever color you want it to be.
A color that feels really soothing and comforting for you.
The sphere of light holds in it potent feelings of love and security.
And the sphere of light radiates out,
Filling your whole body with feelings of love,
Compassion and safety.
Warm like the sun.
And instead of visualizing it,
See if you can really feel these feelings in your body.
Seated in the space in front of you,
Arises your child self.
It could be your child self that you specifically want to work with or one that spontaneously arises.
Or if you want to,
It can be your younger self from another time.
Spend some time tuning into and reflecting upon the nature of your younger self's suffering.
You could maybe become aware of the circumstances that could have caused the child to suffer.
And you could also be aware of the circumstances that could have caused the child to suffer.
You could maybe become aware of the circumstances that could have caused the child's suffering.
Try not to become too caught in the story that arises.
Instead,
Notice the feelings it brings.
Allow those feelings to be there and let them be free to move through.
Now you can reflect upon how you would like to take away the suffering,
Confusion and pain of your child self in front of you.
As you breathe in,
Imagine that you breathe in the suffering of the child you in front,
In the form of smoke.
And let the smoke come down into your heart where it touches the warm loving sphere of light.
And the smoke is instantly transformed into a light of compassion and love.
As you continue to do this,
Let it have the effect of melting and softening your heart and opening your connection to the child before you.
Have the sense that your child self begins to be released from its suffering.
Now gently bring this in-breath to an end and just rest there.
And consider in what way you'd like the child to be endowed with sense of happiness,
Self-worth and joy.
As you breathe out,
That light of love and kindness gently goes out from your heart,
Opening your heart to a feeling of warmth and care.
Opening your heart to a feeling of warmth and care.
Feel your heart gradually open and soften towards your inner child.
Have the sense that this child begins to feel lighter,
Nourished and satisfied by the light of love that you have emanated.
You can spend some time with this process of the in-breath and then the out-breath,
Allowing yourself to deepen into the experience.
Finally,
Rest with the feelings that remain from this meditation and let them expand from your heart and spread through your body.
Stay with this for as long as you can,
So that you can really relax into the feeling,
Allowing yourself to digest what has arisen.
The child in front gets smaller and smaller and then comes into your heart where it can rest,
Safe and loved.
And rest in the moment of the in-breath.
Where it can rest,
Safe and loved.
And rest with this for a while.
As we bring this meditation to a close,
Allow yourself to be nourished by the love and compassion shared between you and your inner child.
As I mentioned before,
Sometimes connecting to our inner child can bring painful feelings or memories.
But if you can stay with these feelings and allow them to be as they are and move through,
It gradually allows them to be freed and transformed into feelings of self-acceptance,
Self-love and self-value.
This meditation is from my course called Deep Healing,
Self-Acceptance and Self-Love.
So if you enjoyed it and would like to explore deeper feelings of self-acceptance and love,
You're welcome to have a look at the course.
Thank you.
