Welcome to this practice for self-love.
I'm so glad you're here.
In this practice today,
We're not trying to become someone new so we can find self-love.
We're practicing something much simpler.
Learning how to stay with the true self that you actually are.
And sometimes it's easiest to define what something isn't so we can understand what it is.
Self-love doesn't look like affirmations to cover up self-doubt,
Although that can maybe be a piece of it at times.
And self-love isn't false confidence as armor.
As far as what self-love is,
Let's try something on for size today.
What if self-love was the ability to remain present with yourself,
Especially when you feel tender?
How might that feel?
Just notice how you might imagine it,
And let's allow that to show us where to begin.
So if you haven't already,
Please find a comfortable position.
One that shows a sense of loving kindness toward yourself and your honest needs in this moment.
And you can close down your eyes or soften your gaze.
If it feels okay,
Placing one hand over your heart and one over your lower belly.
Taking a slow breath in through your nose,
And exhaling gently through your mouth.
Again,
Inhaling nice and easy into the belly.
And an unhurried exhale.
One more breath into the belly,
And maybe sigh it out this time,
Noticing the contact of your hands,
The warmth of them,
The weight of them.
Self-love begins with contact,
Because we cannot love what we are not willing to feel.
We cannot love what we are not willing to feel.
Allowing your breath to slow by just 5%.
And allowing your exhale to lengthen slightly.
And just beginning to notice what is here right now.
Not what you believe should be here,
Or what you might wish were here.
Just what is here,
Present within you right now.
Just noticing what rises to the surface,
And maybe even saying hello to it.
Often when we struggle with self-love,
It isn't because we don't know how to care.
It's because at some point,
Love became conditional.
Maybe love meant being easy,
Or being helpful,
Or being impressive,
Or being needed.
And then the nervous system learns,
If I perform well,
I stay connected.
So when you rest,
When you say no,
When you disappoint someone,
Your body may register that as danger.
Self-love is not just a mindset shift,
It's a nervous system shift.
It's teaching your body,
I am safe,
Even when I am not who they want me to be.
So allow your breath to land there.
Feeling into the truth of those words,
I am safe,
Even when I am not who they want me to be.
And gently bringing to mind a part of you that has felt self-critical lately,
Maybe the part that thinks you should be doing more,
Or doing better,
Or handling something differently.
Instead of pushing that voice away,
See if you can imagine sitting beside it.
Not to argue or correct it,
Just to sit beside.
How does that part seem as you tune into it?
Is it tired?
Scared?
Overwhelmed?
Lonely?
See if you can allow your breath to soften around it,
Creating some more space there.
And you might silently say,
I see you.
I understand you're trying to help.
You don't have to work so hard.
I am here.
I've got you.
How can I help?
I am listening.
And I care.
Breathing and listening with all of your senses.
Just noticing what arises.
Perhaps bringing a loving touch to the part of your body where this part is currently.
Noticing what may shift in your body,
Even if it's one percent.
And as you're ready,
Saying thank you to this part for working so hard,
And for sharing with you.
Self-love often feels subtle at first,
Like warmth returning to cold hands.
So let's stay here.
And if your mind wanders,
Gently return to the sensation of your hand on the part of you that needs it most.
Feeling your own presence as something steady.
Something that can hold this.
So just taking some time here to be with ourselves in this compassionate,
Caring way.
Perhaps breathing in compassion for this part of you that may be struggling.
Sending it directly to that place.
And exhaling anything standing in the way of your compassion towards this part.
Breathing in compassion.
Breathing out resistance.
Just a few more rounds of breath here.
Breathing in compassion towards yourself.
And breathing out any resistance.
And from here,
Let's widen the field just a little.
So imagine relating to yourself as someone precious.
Someone entrusted to your care.
If you were tending to yourself in that way,
How would your voice sound inside?
What would your pace feel like?
What would you gently guard?
Devotion is a steady returning.
A quiet choosing.
Again and again.
It lives in the small moments.
The pause before you override yourself.
The breath before you push past your limits.
The softening when you notice discomfort.
See if you can sense that steadiness in your body.
It might be a soft,
Subtle thing.
Where is the steadiness?
Let's tune in there.
Let's tune in to the station of inner steadiness.
Breathing into that space.
And you might let a few phrases move through you.
I am allowed to be human.
I am allowed to take up space.
I am allowed to rest.
I am allowed to grow and shift.
Feel free to find your own words.
The ones you really need right now.
And let them settle where they land.
Perhaps it's I am enough.
And notice what happens when you are accompanied by your own steady presence.
And I'll invite you to notice now.
Does your breathing feel different?
How does your chest feel?
Softer?
Lighter?
Is there more space somewhere?
Just noticing.
Self-love is not fireworks.
It is steadiness.
And steadiness builds trust.
Let's take one more slow inhale.
And a long grounding exhale.
And before we transition back,
I want to leave you with this.
Self-love is not something you earn.
It is something you practice.
And every time you pause instead of push.
Every time you stay instead of self-abandon.
Every time you speak to yourself with even 5% more kindness.
You are rewiring safety at all levels.
Thank you for showing up for yourself.
Whenever you're ready,
You can gently wiggle your fingers and toes.
Let your eyes open as you're ready.
And see if you can stay here with yourself as you go on about your day.
