I spent a lot of my life worrying.
And I've realized that underneath so much of my worrying is one simple thing.
I want to know what's going to happen.
I want to know that things will be okay.
I want to know that I've made the right decision.
And I want to know that nothing bad is around the corner.
And when I don't know.
My mind tries to fill in the blanks.
What if this happens?
What if that goes wrong?
And what if I can't cope?
There's actually some interesting science behind this.
Our brains are constantly trying to predict what might happen next.
From an evolutionary perspective,
This is useful.
If the brain detects uncertainty or potential danger.
It can switch into a state of increased alertness.
Looking for threats and trying to work out what we should do.
And for some of us,
Including me.
That can become worry.
We think through every possible outcome.
Hoping that if we analyze something enough.
Will eventually feel certain.
But here's the interesting part.
Worry can give us a temporary feeling of control.
Without actually giving us certainty.
And the more we try to eliminate uncertainty.
The more important certainty you can start to feel.
Psychologists sometimes call this intolerance of uncertainty.
Finding the unknown so uncomfortable.
That we feel compelled to think,
Predict.
Check or seek reassurance.
I've definitely recognised that in myself.
And I'm learning that the answer isn't necessarily to think harder.
Because life doesn't offer us gammon teas.
No amount of analysing tomorrow can tell us exactly what tomorrow will bring.
So I'm practicing something much simpler.
I don't know.
I don't know what's going to happen.
I don't know how everything will work out.
And I don't need to know right now.
Because I've survived things I thought I couldn't.
I found my way through situations I couldn't have predicted.
And perhaps that's where real confidence comes from.
Not from knowing that nothing difficult will happen.
But from knowing that I can meet difficulty if it does.
So if you're a worrier too.
Maybe you don't need to stop worrying overnight.
Perhaps just notice when your mind is desperately seeking for certainty.
And instead of asking.
What if something goes wrong?
Try asking.
If something does happen.
Can I trust myself to deal with it then?
Because sometimes.
.
.
Peace doesn't come from finally knowing that everything will be okay.
It comes from realising that you don't need a guarantee anymore.
You can let the future remain unknown.
And still be here.
Stop breathing.
Still living.
And still moving forward.
Thank you.
