Finding True Love After 40: Episode 1

Welcome to the very first episode of Stop Chasing Unavailable Guys! If you’re a single woman over 40 looking for Mr. Right but often find yourself dating the wrong guys, you’re in the right place! Join me your host, Truly Eleanor, as I share my journey from struggling with relationships to finding the love of my life. In this inaugural episode, I open up about my own “Shero’s love journey,” discussing my decades of dating mishaps and how I finally broke the cycle. With 15 years of coaching women and a wealth of personal experience, I am here to guide you through practical tips and inspiration to go after the love you deserve.

Transcript

Welcome to the Stop Chasing Unavailable Guys podcast,

Where I teach single women over 40 the fastest path to find Mr.

Right,

So you can stop wasting time on emotionally unavailable guys.

I'm your host,

Truly Eleanor,

And I'm here to give you the tools to find the love you desire.

After years of coaching women worldwide and breaking my own patterns to find Mr.

Right in my 40s,

I know love is closer than you think.

Let's get started.

Welcome,

I'm so glad you're here.

I'm Truly Eleanor,

And guess what?

This is season one,

Episode one.

And if you're a single woman who is dating and you're over 40 and you're looking for love,

You want to find Mr.

Right,

But somehow you keep veering off the track and finding these unavailable guys,

Then you're going to learn a lot from this podcast.

And first of all,

I just want to tell you that I personally went through this for decades of being in the wrong kinds of relationships and chasing after love,

Around in circles,

And I was able to break that pattern and meet the love of my life in my 40s.

So not only am I a love coach,

I'm also personally walking with you through this.

I have been through this,

I call it my Shiro's love journey,

And I'm going to share a lot of my personal experience,

But also my professional experience of working with women and coaching them all around the world for the last 15 years,

And specifically around love coaching since 2018.

So let's dive in.

That's my little bit of inspiration that if you've been feeling really bummed out about dating,

That you're going to get the inspiration you need and the practical tips from this podcast.

The other thing I want to really talk about is the things you've been doing haven't been working.

So telling yourself,

Like,

Oh,

I'm just not going to,

You know,

Fall for the unavailable guy next time,

Or using sheer willpower,

Or saying,

Now I know my pattern,

And I'm just not going to do it anymore.

It's not going to work.

And I know because I've spun around in circles,

Telling myself the same thing.

So I really don't want you to waste any more time on this.

I don't want you to end up this holiday at a dinner party,

And you're the only single person,

And everyone is kind of either giving you really bad advice or giving you that look of pity that I absolutely used to hate.

I don't want you to go through that.

I want you to just say,

Okay,

Look,

I have this pattern,

And I'm kind of stuck,

And I need to create new patterns and behaviors and learn about what I've been doing so I can do something different.

So I want you to really grasp onto that and really embrace that,

Because that's where things are going to change for you.

My mission is to help women stop wasting all that time and,

You know,

Think,

Oh,

This is it.

This is the guy.

And a year later,

It's like,

Oh,

My God,

This is the exact same guy in a different body,

And now you're a year older,

And it's like,

Ugh,

I don't want you to go through that.

And if you haven't gone through that as much as maybe I have over years and years,

But you just feel like,

You know,

I've gone over 40,

And I don't really have the time to play around with this anymore.

I don't have time to date like I'm in my 20s or 30s anymore,

Then,

You know,

Stick with me,

And you're going to learn a lot of things.

The first tip I'll give you in season one,

Episode one,

Is to let go of the idea that you're just going to say,

I won't do this anymore.

And I say that with all the love in my heart,

Because I know I did the same thing.

I was like,

Well,

I'm just not going to do that anymore.

And then there I was until I was 44.

So there you go.

You do not want to do that.

The other question that might be coming up for you is,

Why should I listen to this person?

What does she know?

Well,

I am a love coach.

I am trained in holistic nutrition.

And the funny side note is that I started off as a nutritionist,

I should say holistic nutritionist in 2008.

And I was coaching women,

And I was really excited to talk to them about,

You know,

Their health and holistic healing and all this type of stuff.

And the funny thing is,

They kept asking me,

Well,

What about my love life?

How come my love life sucks?

And I would be like,

Okay,

I guess we can talk about that for a little bit.

I can help you through that.

And I would listen to them and help them through that.

But I didn't really feel confident at the time,

Because I was,

Like I said,

Struggling myself in my personal life.

And I didn't really feel like the expert in that.

So I would kind of bring the conversation back to,

Well,

Let's talk about,

You know,

Your,

Your health,

Your physical health,

Your mental health,

Your spiritual health,

All of those things.

And inevitably,

The conversation would come back to love.

And so I found it kind of funny,

But I didn't do much about it until 10 years later.

So fast forward 10 years,

I finally break my pattern.

And I had worked really hard on overcoming my limiting beliefs and my patterns.

And don't worry,

We're going to break all of this down in season one,

Exactly what I did,

And my framework.

But fast forward to 2018,

I meet my husband,

And I'm like,

Oh,

My God,

He is the love of my life.

I actually did it,

I broke this pattern.

And so everything fell into place at that point.

And I felt like I really could focus on love.

And so 2018,

I really dialed down on that,

And continued coaching women with this very specific focus on finding love and specifically around the women who,

As I said,

Had felt like they had gone through their 20s and 30s,

Kind of like a hot mess like I was.

And now it's like,

Okay,

This isn't funny anymore.

And I really want to figure this out.

And so that's what I did.

And here I am.

And of course,

My own success story is not the only one that I have,

Thankfully,

To tell you about.

I do have clients who have found the love of their life who have married and found someone that they truly love and that they feel that dedicated,

Loving relationship with in their 40s as well.

And so I feel like this is a repeatable,

Pattern breaking kind of technique that I have and a lot of experience.

So nothing that I'm going to tell you is going to be from a book or from someone saying,

Hey,

Don't do that anymore,

Or do this or do that.

I'm not going to be that person.

So you're not going to waste your time listening to someone tell you something that they haven't personally gone through,

And they don't understand.

Like I understand the emotional and mental fortitude and courage that it takes to follow my guidance.

I understand what I'm asking you to do,

And I know what it takes.

So that's the good news and the bad news that sometimes it can be difficult.

Sometimes it can be a little scary to face things and to look at things differently.

But the good news is that I've been through it and I've walked clients through it as well.

And so it's not,

You're not the guinea pig.

It's not like someone's going to jump out of the cake and be like,

We're going to do it this way and not knowing anything about it.

So I just wanted to give you that background and that framework for you to really trust that you can listen to this podcast and get some really valuable advice,

Knowing that I've been there,

That a lot of women I've worked with have also been through this and you're part of that community.

So welcome,

Welcome to the community.

So what to expect for season one,

I'm going to go into my story.

I'm going to talk about what was my enough is enough moment.

Where did I really say,

Okay,

That's it,

I've had it.

And where things actually started to change and how did I do that?

I'm going to go into that very specifically in one of the episodes.

So it's going to be my story,

My Shiro's journey.

We're going to talk about what is a pinch me love.

So what does that actually look like?

A lot of women I've worked with have said,

I don't even know what healthy love looks like.

Maybe you've had the experience in childhood where you haven't seen a healthy role model with your caregivers or your parents.

You haven't been lucky enough to have that.

And so you don't really know what it looks like.

You only really know the broken patterns.

You only know the dysfunctional kind of patterns and what they look like.

And you really need a strong framework to lean into.

So we're going to look at that and it's called pinch me love.

That's what I call it.

We're going to look at the limiting beliefs that are keeping you single.

The number one thing that I think is the biggest limiting belief that women over 40 are,

You know,

It's keeping them single.

We're going to talk about that.

I'm going to talk about the worst dating advice for women over 40.

Like,

Oh my God,

Everything out there is just a hot mess.

Like the internet is just a crazy,

It's like the wild west.

So we really want to know what is going to be the bad advice.

So you know,

Okay,

That's really not going to work for me.

And of course,

We're going to talk about what you can do and the fastest path to finding Mr.

Right.

That is my whole deal.

That is my jam.

I love,

You know,

Saving you time,

Saving you heartache,

Telling you,

Okay,

This,

You're going to go down the wrong path and you're going to waste months and years.

So go in this direction,

Give this a try instead and give you that fast track because you know,

Like I said,

We're in our forties,

We're like,

I'm 50,

I don't have time for all this stuff.

I don't have time to be wasting on things.

So I don't want you to waste your time either with experimenting and guinea pigging yourself.

We don't want to be doing that.

So I'm going to talk about my specific,

What I call let love in technique,

Which is based on my 15 years of experience coaching women based on my own personal journey to find love and actually even decades before that,

My own personal development journey to find my true self.

So it's all based on that.

And it's very simple to follow.

I wouldn't say easy.

I also don't sugar coat things.

So I'm not going to be like,

Oh,

This is so easy.

Just go ahead and do that or just don't do that anymore.

I'm not going to give you that kind of attitude where I think that something's going to be easy because like I said,

I understand what it takes.

I also know it's possible.

You're going to get a lot of inspirational energy from me.

You're going to get a lot of,

You know,

It's okay.

This is possible.

This can happen for you too.

Love is closer than you think.

You're going to hear that a lot.

That's my favorite phrase.

Love is closer than you think.

And just feel into that right now.

You know,

It's not a million miles away.

It's not going to be impossible.

Don't listen to the naysayers.

Don't listen to the tombstay people saying like,

Oh,

You know,

Dating over 40 is like being hit by lightning twice.

And no,

It's not.

It is not like that at all.

There is a path you can follow.

And then finally,

We're going to talk about during the season,

Also a way that you can work with me and actually get guidance from my program called Pinch Me Love.

So there is a course that is available for you.

And if you want to really hear all about that,

I'm going to do an episode on that specifically as well.

So that's kind of an outline,

A framework.

And I just wanted to really invite you into the space,

Get you excited,

Help you find a community and a place where you can go where someone's not going to be telling you to focus on the guy,

To get into your feminine energy,

To figure out and learn all of these complicated.

I've seen this all over the place and I just find it flabbergasting.

All of these complicated text messages or,

You know,

A wording to learn,

It's almost like a new language in order to keep a guy interested or to make yourself irresistible.

All of these things I find just really counterintuitive.

I am all about getting you to connect into your heart,

Getting you to feel into your own intuition,

To trust your intuition,

To trust what you are feeling,

To find out,

To do a deep dive into your own needs.

What are your needs?

What are your desires?

The women that I work with have mostly,

Including myself,

Been raised to always focus on the other person.

And maybe you have a highly developed sense of your intuition,

But you've been taught to use that to tune into other people.

And I'm going to teach you a new way,

Which is to really dial into yourself and to get more connected into your true self and what that means and to live your life and to go after and find a love that is going to be an expression of what you truly desire,

Not a focus of how can I make this guy happy?

What can I say to this guy?

How can I make sure that he stays?

And how come he is running away and I'm going to run after him?

The other thing you'll probably hear me say a lot is like,

Mr.

Wright does not run.

Okay?

So we've got two phrases you're going to hear a lot.

Love is closer than you think.

And Mr.

Wright does not run.

You can write those down and make those your bumper stickers because we're going to really use those a lot.

It's my favorite for a reason,

Because I want you to have the inspiration to know that this is possible for you and to also stop chasing after someone who is running away.

As soon as we start running after someone,

They run away.

In other words,

The faster you chase,

The faster they'll run.

And I want you to just completely unlearn that pattern because it's just going to lead you down the wrong path and months and years are going to go by and you're going to realize or wake up at the next birthday,

The next holiday dinner and be like,

Wow,

I'm exactly where I was like a year ago or two years ago.

And I don't want that for you.

That is why my mission is to help you to break that pattern so you can find the fastest path to Mr.

Wright.

And what I'm really saying in a bigger sense is you're going to find the fastest path to yourself,

Your true authentic self,

And be able to have a love where you can express and be yourself and be loved for who you truly are.

And that is my life's mission,

My life's purpose.

I almost just want to cry when I say that because it is so deeply moving for me.

And I hope that you connected with me in that way and that we can walk this journey together .

And so I hope that you will come with me to listen to the next episode where I'm going to be talking about my story and go more in depth around,

You know,

What I did,

What was my enough is enough moment,

Like what really nailed it for me where I said,

I'm never going to ever go through this again.

And then the steps that I took and how I did meet my husband and then continue on for a season one with me,

Um,

To stop chasing unavailable guys.

So thank you so much for listening.

I'm so happy to have you here.

And remember,

Love is closer than you think.