Are You Waiting For Your Life To Begin?

Have you had the experience of setting a target date or setting some target event and believing "everything will be great when I reach that time or event".? This is like living on a promise, it is waiting for life to begin and it can cause us to miss out on the joy of what we have around us in the here and now. Here is an opportunity to change that mindset.

Background music: "Soothing Memories" by Narek Mirzaei of Music of Wisdom. Photo by David Cashbaugh on Unsplash.

Transcript

Dear friends,

Have you ever come across the expression delayed life syndrome?

It sounds a little like an illness but in this meditation we are not talking about an illness but a tendency which like an illness can interfere with our lives.

In this meditation we are going to be looking at how how can we overcome this idea that things will be better if only such and such would be the case.

I'm sure you've often come across that thought.

But before we get into that let's bring ourselves to a place of relaxation.

So make sure you are sitting comfortably,

Feet firmly on the floor and your back in a reasonably upright position.

Not a rigid type of sitting but a relaxed alert type of posture.

If you wish you may close your eyes,

Whatever feels comfortable for you.

If you are keeping your eyes open it might help if you direct your gaze downward,

That will help you to avoid distraction.

This is your invitation to relax,

Your invitation to allow everything to just be.

Right now in this present moment there's nothing to do,

Nowhere to go except to be here,

To just be here.

So you might like to take in a deep breath and if there is anything troubling you,

Anything on your mind,

See if you can let go of that trouble as you breathe out fully.

Breathe out the trouble fully.

It helps if we can remind ourselves to breathe with a sense of awareness.

This helps to direct our attention to the present moment,

The fact that we are living right here in the now.

It helps us avoid daydreaming about the future or worrying pointlessly about the past.

And there are words that can be used to help us concentrate our focus on the now.

Breathing in,

I pay attention to the fact that I am breathing in.

And the same procedure as we breathe out.

Breathing out,

I deliberately notice that I am breathing out.

Breathing in,

I notice that I am breathing in.

Breathing out,

I notice that I am breathing out.

Let's see if we can concentrate our minds on our breathing for the next 60 seconds.

Now if your mind wanders,

Don't beat yourself up.

This happens.

Just notice that your mind has wandered and gently bring it back to an awareness of your breath.

Breathing in,

I am aware that I am breathing in.

Breathing out,

I am aware that I am breathing out.

This is where my life is happening right now.

I'm sure we have all had the experience of setting a target date in our minds or setting some target event and believing that everything will be great when we reach that time or that event.

It's like living on a promise.

Won't it be great when things settle down?

When I have more time?

When I am finished this course?

When I get this qualification?

When I secure this job?

And of course when we are in the job,

We begin to think of a brighter future down the line.

Won't everything be great when I retire?

When I'm finally free of these worries?

Have you ever found yourself living for some event?

What were your feelings when the event came to pass?

Or did it ever come to pass?

Let's have another one minute pause for reflection.

You may have come across some memories during that pause for reflection.

You know how we can tell ourselves,

When this happens I will really live.

When that happens,

I'll finally have time to rest,

Time to relax.

We imagine a future where everything will finally be alright.

I think this must be a fairly common experience.

We all have situations that we are looking forward to and that is no harm at all.

Especially if we feel things aren't going exactly as we would wish right now.

It makes the present more bearable if we have something to look forward to.

This is alright,

But only to a limited extent.

It does have the possibility of carrying us into a never ending circle of wanting,

Of looking forward.

A habit of ignoring all we have and daydreaming of all we wish for.

We can become obsessed with the thought that one day life will become much brighter than it feels today.

And therein lies the problem.

If our happiness is dependent on future events,

Future outcomes,

Then what about today?

Are we postponing our lives,

Looking forward,

Waiting for an imagined perfect day to dawn?

Instead of experiencing happiness just now,

We begin to see today as something to be endured,

A trouble to be gotten over.

And we find ourselves missing out on the joys of life surrounding us in the here and now.

I'm sure we will all remember the John Lennon line,

Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans.

Maybe that line is a prompt for another pause for reflection.

During this pause,

We might see if we can recall something that we remember with gratitude,

But it is something that landed while we were working on something else.

If ever we feel we are falling into the trap of fixing one of these dates or events as the be-all and the end-all of our lives,

Is there anything we can do to call ourselves back to reality?

We could ask ourselves,

Where and when do I believe my life will finally begin?

Or maybe,

What conditions am I waiting for before I allow myself to be fully comfortable with the present,

Fully grateful for what I have in the present?

These questions could prove to be an eye-opener.

They might encourage us to drag our happiness back from the future and allow us to enjoy it here and now in this present moment.

And of course we can work now to help to achieve our plans.

There's no need for us to drift blindly into an unplanned future.

But let us never forget that right now we have the present moment,

The now.

And the now,

When it appears,

As it always does in due course,

Is the moment in which everything happens.

I mentioned the line,

Life is what happens to you when you're busy making other plans.

And there are some other songs that come to mind when we think of this habit of living for the future.

One song that comes to mind for me is Somewhere Over the Rainbow.

Do you remember the hopeful words,

Someday I'll wake up where the clouds are far behind me,

Where troubles melt like lemon drops,

That's where you'll find me?

It's one of these much-loved forever songs.

And I'm sure many of us will remember the lines from the song,

If I Were a Rich Man,

From Fiddler on the Roof.

There were so many things that Tevye was looking forward to.

He wouldn't have to work hard,

He would have a big tall house with rooms by the dozen.

And remember the wonderful idea of the one long staircase just going up,

And one even longer coming down.

And not forgetting all the chicks and turkeys and geese and ducks in the yard.

Tevye felt that if he was a rich man,

He would have the time to sit in the synagogue and pray.

So many things,

If only he was a wealthy man.

And sitting in the synagogue to pray reminds me that if I'm ever feeling out of sorts,

You know the feeling you have a cold or a flu or there's something up,

You might imagine it would be easier to sit down and pray and meditate at those times,

Times when you can't get out and about.

You might think that with more time on your hands,

You would have time for these things.

But my own experience is that in those times,

It's not easy to settle down to pray.

I read somewhere that we must do these things,

Meditation,

Prayer,

Whatever it is we want to do,

Things that might be good,

We must do these things while we have the energy and the strength to do them.

Let's not wait for the day when we are lacking the energy or the strength.

So this meditation is to encourage us to be more present.

Yes,

Of course,

It's a good thing to have plans.

But our concentration must be on life in the here and now.

Feeling a sense of gratitude,

Encouraging in ourselves a sense of gratitude for what we have sitting right in front of us.

The magic attached to our existence right here and right now.

And let's not tie our happiness to some future event or some future date.

Remember the old saying,

If not now,

When?

We might pause and ask ourselves,

What am I missing in my life today?

Because I'm looking forward so much to tomorrow.

A closing thought.

This is the day that love has made.

Let us rejoice and be grateful.

Namaste.

Reviews

We only have the present and lately, especially here in the US things feel unstable. Our time here is not infinite so I look for the “glimmer” moments in each day; there are many if we allow ourselves to find them. Thanks Tony 🙏🏻

Thank you for this reminder that now is all we have..and that is a blessing indeed.

Thank you Tony for this reminder to live in the present moment and not wait for everything to be "just right." Namaste 🙏

Thank you Tony. Such wise thoughts that made me feel gratitude for what I have today 🌸

Thank you so much for this beautiful meditation, dear Tony 💚 🙏 You have no idea how much I needed to hear this! Thank you!

Thank you Tony! I needed this reminder today- yesterday I got turned down for a large raise and only got a small one- I needed to remember gratitude 🙏🏼 and that everything is perfect and exactly how it is supposed to be in this moment 🥰

What a beautiful message. Truly a wonderful reminder to pause and be present. To see what is in the here and now instead of everything yet to come. Thank you for this kind reminder.

Beautiful reminder…I especially love the lyrical references 🌈! I so appreciate your meaningful perspective and the calming words of encouragement. 🙏🏻

Brilliant! Just the meditation I’d been waiting for, my dear Irishman. Thanks very much.

How wonderful! What great reminders to live for today rather than the past and the future. The quotes from well-known songs were perfect. Thank you, Tony, for another great lesson.

Life is what happens when we're making other plans.. I retired and BAM, the Pandemic. Thank you for this thoughtful meditation, Tony. 🩵🙏

I couldn’t help but think of all the plans my husband and I had made once he retired. The big adventure we had our heart set on and just enjoying being with each other in our last stage of life. It was all in arms reach but sadly cancer stole our dreams. I wish we had done so many of the things we looked forward to while he was still here. I don’t make plans anymore I just take life each day as it comes. I deeply felt the words you spoke, thank you

Tony, listening to your voice makes me feel like all’s right with the world again. Oh-so-calming.

Thank you Tony for another wonderful talk full of wise words, kind thoughts and comforting strategies to help us to enjoy this moment. All the very best to you 🙏

Such great reminders. Balance in life is so important. After you have lived awhile it is easier to look back and see these things. There is another saying I have offered to some younger folks….Don’t wish your life away. Really enjoyed the session. 🌺

Tony this was really touching and such a beautiful reminder to live and be thankful for the present moment. 🙏🏻💕

Thank you for such a great message myself being in my 80s I have been practicing that more living in the now because I know that my days are numbered

Thank you Tony for this beautiful reminder that all we have is now !

Beautiful meditation. Very inspiring and uplifting message to live in the present moment and appreciate each day. Thank you!🙏 ☀️

This is what I needed to hear today. Perfect, Divine timing. 🙏 Thank you.