10 Minutes On What Other People Think

We can often find ourselves troubled by the opinions of others. We can be unduly influenced by praise or blame. These opinions of others have to be taken with a grain of salt. Our happiness cannot depend upon the fleeting and superficial opinions of people who do not know us at all. This meditation may help us to find a balance as we work our way through life trying to do our best. Background music:"Eternal dreams" by Narek Mirzaei of Music of Wisdom

Transcript

Dear friends,

Let's take this opportunity to bring ourselves into the present moment,

Making sure we are in a comfortable position.

Breathing is not meant to be an endurance test.

You can close your eyes if you wish,

Whatever seems comfortable.

We can use the breath as a way of bringing ourselves into the present moment.

The breath is always with us.

And as you breathe in,

Notice that you are breathing in.

Sometimes we don't notice this at all.

We breathe in the life-giving air without as much as a thought.

So as you breathe in,

You might consider words such as,

I am aware that I am breathing in.

And the same as you breathe out.

As I breathe out,

I am aware that I am breathing out.

Let's give ourselves one minute to come into this present moment.

And as we pay attention to our breath,

Allow ourselves to take a break from the busyness of everyday life.

Welcome back.

This is a meditation on the theme,

What other people think.

What other people think is something that can trouble us.

We receive a few words of praise and we lose the run of ourselves.

It puts us temporarily on top of the world.

We receive some words of criticism and we fall to pieces.

Why is our happiness dependent upon what other people think of us?

What other people say to us?

Receiving praise doesn't turn us into someone good.

The praise may be undeserved.

And what is the motivation of the person who issues the praise?

Hearing words of blame doesn't turn us into a bad person.

We may have done nothing wrong.

It may be an ill-considered judgement.

And in any event,

How can the person making the judgement have any idea of the effort that we have made?

Now this is not to say that we do not take other people's opinions into account at all.

A well-deserved word of praise can be encouraging and welcome.

If we have worked hard,

A word of praise is an encouragement to us to continue the good work and to work harder still.

A timely word of criticism can be helpful as well.

It might just catch us at the right time and turn us back onto the correct track.

We all make mistakes.

A word of criticism at the right time,

A word of advice as to how we should have done better.

This can help us to improve and to try harder.

We can find we owe a deep gratitude to someone who has kept us on the right track.

Let's have another pause for reflection.

One minute,

60 seconds.

One minute,

60 seconds.

Welcome back.

But it is important to remember that we each have an intrinsic value.

That value does not depend upon the opinions of other people.

Our intrinsic value arises by reason of our individual existence.

It does not depend upon the opinion of someone else.

It does not even depend upon our own opinion of ourselves.

With the words of Desiderata,

That well-known poem by Max Ehrman,

No less than the trees and the stars,

You have a right to be here.

So let's have a little more confidence in our own inherent goodness.

As was mentioned years ago in a sermon which I heard in a nearby church,

We are not bad people trying to be good.

We are good people trying to be better.

So the message for today,

Take on board the opinion of other people,

But take it with a grain of salt.

Pay more attention if the same opinion is offered by a number of people.

That could indicate that they've stumbled upon something that we need to watch.

But don't forget the grain of salt.

A group of people operating independently can still come to the wrong view.

And remember your own inherent goodness.

Despite your faults,

And we all have faults,

You can truthfully say that you are a good person trying to be better.

Don't let yourself be discouraged by criticism.

And take praise too with a grain of salt.

Any success we have owes a lot to other people,

And probably quite a bit to good fortune as well.

None of us enjoys an existence independent of the help and support of others.

We are all part of one interdependent web.

Think of a flower.

It would have no existence but for the support of earth,

Water,

Sunshine,

And a host of other circumstances which we cannot even begin to imagine.

It's the same with us.

So let us operate independently of those two imposters,

Raise and blame,

And go on to do the best we can in the circumstances we come across each day.

It will all add up to a good life.

All we need to do is our best.

And remember,

Not too much looking over the shoulder.

No one out there is in a position to judge.

No one out there is in possession of all the facts.

The closing quote today comes from Mozart,

Wolfgang and Medeus Mozart.

I pay no attention whatever to anybody's praise or blame.

I simply follow my own feelings.

Now that did no harm at all to Mozart.

Maybe we should follow his example.

And so to end this meditation,

The Divine in me bows to the Divine in you.

You are good people.

The Divine resides in you as you continue the journey.

Namaste.

Reviews

Helpful as always, Tony. Thank you. 🙏 Jane in Maryland

This was my first time listening to this particular meditation by Tony. Today I received both words of anger from a dear friend for trying to offer words of wisdom, and praise from two people for my efforts on behalf of our community. The meditation was helpful to me as I tried to mentally reconcile both extremes. Thanks Tony!

Always kind and honest words of encouragement - thank you for all that you do for us, Tony 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Thank you for your compassionate words of wisdom. 🙏🏼🕊️🌈☀️🌸

Your words always bring me peace and joy! Thank you

Loved the music, his accent and the time he gave for space and contemplation! Thank you!

Dear Tony
Thank you for the gifts in your guidance. I have tried hard all my life. When I was a girl in parochial school, I prayed, Please, God, make me a good person. The wrong way round. My prayer might of been, Thank you, God, that I am a good person. Not perfect, not without fault, but worthy of love and respect. And not because of my achievements and the esteem of others. I am good and I can do better. There is hope in that knowledge.

The best 10 minutes spent on Insight Timer in months! THANK YOU 🙏

Dear Tony, you give the most down-to-earth meditation guidance I have ever heard. This feels like a friend is guiding me, it warms my heart. Thank you! 😊

Thank you for this; it’s given me another perspective.

Thank you 🙏! This fell on me at a time when I was allowing cruel words of a family member to effect me. This meditation brought me back into focus of my own self worth. Thank you 🙏 again!

Tony, beautiful work on that one! It is an enlightening flow from praise and blame, to our inherent goodness, to inter being—what a sweet, sweet look at being human!
Thank you and Namaste!
Donna

Thank you for these words of wisdom and inspiration. 🙏

Excellent. Thank you so much. Your words really help me. Blessed be you. Namaste 🙏🏽

Tony I loved your quote
we are all good people striving to do better. Thank you🙏

Oh my goodness, just what I needed today! Thank you..❤️🙏🏽

Beautiful message! Always so mindful… I just enjoy your meditations so much! Hope life is treating you well, Tony. God bless you!

Lovely and so encouraging🙏🏼
Thank you dear Tony.

Thank you! A balanced view urging us to take a balanced view of criticism and praise. Just what I needed today. 😊

Great discussion to start the day, helps me to remain centered and balanced.