Hello and welcome to this mindfulness meditation based around the idea of your inner critic.
Sometimes we refer to this as self-criticism or self-judgment.
We all of us have an inner critic.
Sometimes it can be very helpful to have that extra voice to give you another perspective on something that you're thinking or doing.
But self-criticism can become an ingrained practice that is negative and destructive to the extent that we're no longer even aware that we're doing it.
We are all of us a product of our upbringing and our environments and many of us carry very deeply negative feelings about ourselves and we have recurring negative thoughts about not being good enough or not being worthy.
And it is often with surprise that we recognize that we are being unkinder to ourselves than we are to others.
In this mindfulness meditation we're going to look at some of these issues.
We're going to address some of the causes and we're going to look at ways in which we can begin to view ourselves more positively.
Just as if you had a physical habit that was causing you injury,
You would seek to address both the habit and the symptoms of that habit.
So with our mental health we need to recognize that negative self-judgment and self-criticism causes us to suffer and that suffering is a symptom.
And both the symptom and the cause can be looked at.
I'll say at the outset of this practice,
Judging yourself about judging yourself is still judging yourself.
So we're going to be aware of this and when we recognize how judging we have been,
We're going to be curious about that rather than judging.
We need to recognize that most of the time we're doing the best we can and we're going to be compassionate with ourselves.
And that notion of self-compassion requires practice.
This meditation is going to help us to recognize when we're in negative self-judgment or self-criticism and it's going to help us to bring compassion to ourselves and to recognize our capabilities and to recognize that we are on the whole doing the best that we can.
And to be as kind to ourselves as we would be to somebody else who was in this position.
And I'm going to invite you to begin this practice today by taking three deep intentional breaths in through the nose and gently out through the mouth and repeating in through the nose and out through the mouth.
And one more time on your own.
If you feel comfortable now,
I'd invite you to allow your eyelids to gently close and focus on your posture,
On the place that you're sitting or lying and then allow your breathing to return to its natural rhythms.
Just watching it,
Not changing it,
Being aware of the breath moving into your body and of the breath leaving your body.
Where are you most aware of your breathing?
Perhaps it's at your nostrils or in the back of your throat.
Maybe it's in the expanding and contracting of your chest or maybe it's in your belly.
Wherever you feel your breathing,
It's happening now in the present moment.
What does it feel like to you now?
Is your breathing shallow,
Deep,
Fast,
Slow?
Do you feel your lungs inflating?
Focus on your breathing without judgment,
Just with curiosity.
What is it like to be me here now breathing?
What feelings,
What emotions or sensations come to you as you're curiously observing your breathing?
There's nothing that you need to change.
There's no right answer.
Everything that is happening to you and that you're feeling right now is okay.
And now intentionally deepen your breathing.
How does your body respond to this?
Deepen your breathing further.
Feel it in your belly or your stomach.
Again,
What is your body's reaction to this?
Is anything new arising in your mind?
What sort of thoughts does this evoke?
Again,
Just observe your thinking.
What is it that you're feeling?
Just observe your thinking,
Your feelings with curiosity.
Simply recognize that's a thought,
That's a feeling and allow it to pass.
As you sit or lie with these feelings and thoughts,
You might become aware of other ideas coming to your consciousness.
Maybe you're aware that there are thoughts that you can't stop having.
Maybe you're questioning whether you're doing this right.
You might also recognize emotions surfacing,
Perhaps frustration,
Perhaps boredom.
Perhaps boredom.
When we relax,
When we stop,
We invite space in where these things can surface.
We're allowing ourselves to hear what our body and mind are telling us.
On the other hand,
You might not be feeling anything at all and you might be questioning whether that's okay.
And if you're feeling nothing at all,
Simply bring your awareness to the fact that you're feeling nothing at all.
Whatever is going on with you,
Just bring your awareness to it.
Watch it and note whether any of this is self-judgment,
Blame,
Shaming,
Criticism.
Are you telling yourself any shoulds?
You should be better at this.
You should be feeling differently.
You should find this easy.
Are you encountering internal resistance to the practice?
Are you telling yourself that you shouldn't be resisting?
Are you keen to finish?
Get on with other things you want to be doing?
And are you judging yourself for having those feelings?
Whatever that voice is now telling you,
You're giving it some space.
You're allowing it to be heard.
And now that you've been listening to this voice,
Bring your attention to your body.
Notice if your body has a physical reaction to some of these thoughts.
Check in with your jaw,
Your neck,
Your shoulders,
Your throat,
Your stomach.
Are you feeling something there or are you aware of a lack of feeling?
Just watch with curiosity.
You are now allowing yourself to feel things that are normally plotted or drowned out by the everyday noise in our lives.
Maybe you're aware of larger emotions underlying what you're feeling.
Often,
Self-criticism stems from feelings of anxiety,
Possibly grief or anger,
Or even fear.
See if you can identify and label the emotions that you are feeling and perhaps where you're feeling them.
Do you feel it around your heart or in your stomach or somewhere else entirely in your body?
And you may come to notice that the feelings that you have arising from self-criticism are a form of suffering.
And we know that suffering is a normal part of the human condition.
They're simply part of who we are as living beings.
Try to recognize that and affirm that.
This is who I am.
This is how I function.
And maybe see if you can relax and let go of the thoughts that are in your head and be in your body and try to offer yourself some love and some compassion for the feelings that you are experiencing.
Place your right hand on your heart,
Your left hand on your stomach,
Or place one hand on top of the other and allow yourself to feel the compassion and care that comes from the touch of your hand.
Deepen your breath again and breathe that care and compassion into the parts of your body where you feel your emotions most strongly.
And as you do,
Quietly tell yourself,
This feeling I'm having is okay.
Allow it to be in your body and regard it with kindness and compassion.
Tell yourself,
It's not your fault.
You've been doing the best that you can.
It's okay.
Tell yourself,
I'm on your side.
Tell yourself,
Whatever feels right to you.
How would you comfort another person?
Say that to your suffering parts.
All of us are trying our best in life.
And that critical voice just causes suffering.
That critical voice has arisen from your upbringing,
From previous experiences.
It's simply there.
You didn't invite it and it's not your fault.
But bringing your deliberate attention to your self-talk is a way of changing that pattern.
Showing yourself care and compassion when you're struggling helps you to change the relationship you have with that critical voice.
And over time and with practice,
That critical voice can become a supportive and compassionate voice.
We are imperfect beings doing the best that we can.
We are worthy of success.
We are worthy of love.
We are worthy of being accepted for who we are.
Breathe gently into your entire body,
Visualizing a favorite color as you do so.
Imagining the compassion and the love you feel for yourself filling your body.
Gently become aware of the room around you.
Become aware of your weight on the floor or the chair.
Become aware of the sounds around you.
Become aware of the feelings,
The physical feelings in your body.
And when you're ready,
You can gently open your eyes.
And as you sit there or lie there in full awareness of this present moment,
Offer yourself some thanks,
Some gratitude for the compassion you've been able to show yourself today.
