For this meditation,
We're going to be focusing on how to work with the overwhelming and oftentimes devastating experience of craving and addictive patterns.
In particular,
We'll be using a mindfulness tool that I developed called Life,
Which will support a process of exploring and deepening awareness around these addictive patterns,
As well as increase our capacity to be with seemingly intolerable feelings,
Which are often at the root of these patterns.
The tool used in this guided meditation can also be used throughout the day and at times when you notice yourself struggling,
So feel free to come back to it as needed.
So we're going to begin with finding a comfortable position,
Either sitting on a chair or cushion or lying down.
And start by taking some slow,
Deep breaths,
Breathing in through the nose and down into the lower belly,
Until you fill the abdomen with breath.
Fully expanded.
And then slowly exhale,
Breathing out through the nose.
And continue this for a few breath cycles.
And as you breathe,
Notice if you have any physical tension in your body.
And if you found some tension,
Bring your awareness to it and slowly breathe into the tension,
Allowing the breath to penetrate into it and to create more space to soften the tension.
And then on the exhale,
Slowly release and allow the tension to relax.
Now notice if there's any emotional tension.
Maybe some emotions or feelings that you're carrying with you from your day.
And again,
Slowly breathe into that tension,
Imbuing it with the breath.
And then let it dissolve out as you exhale.
And now finally see if you can notice any mental tension,
Such as lingering thoughts or maybe mental activity that just feels stuck or repetitive.
And breathe into the mental tension.
And then let the tension ride slowly out with the breath.
And now I want you to imagine a recent scenario in which you are experiencing craving,
Such as craving for drugs or alcohol or even sugar,
Or a time that you acted compulsively on an addictive pattern such as binge eating,
Compulsive sex,
Or maybe checking out with your phone or through social media.
And you can pick whatever scenario feels right and alive for you,
A pattern that you want to work on right now.
You might also be experiencing that pattern that or that craving directly right now.
And in that case,
Use that.
And then using that recent scenario,
See if you can really call it to life by bringing the details to mind.
So to reimagine that situation.
So where were you?
Can you recall the details of the environment?
Who were you with?
Or were you alone?
And how did that also impact your emotional or mental state?
What time of day was it?
What sort of circumstances were going on in your life leading up to that moment,
Which may have influenced your impulse to act on the addictive pattern or which maybe triggered your craving?
We're really calling that experience to life to see if we can feel it on a somatic level to reestablish the intensity of that craving or that impulse.
And once you feel like that scenario is alive in your mind and body,
We're going to begin with the first step of life,
Which is to label.
The process of labeling allows us to become a witness or objective observer of our experience rather than to feel identified with it.
So with the experience you call to mind or the experience that maybe you're having right now in this moment,
You can simply label it as craving or perhaps desire to numb or desire to escape.
Desire to binge eat or smoke a cigarette.
Pick up that drink.
Whatever the experience is,
You can really choose any languaging you want,
But we want to keep it as simple and precise as possible so that we don't go into thinking about the experience.
We're simply labeling it in order to create a gap between the experience and ourselves.
So take a moment to find the words that work for you and feel most descriptive and relevant for the addictive pattern or craving that you're experiencing.
And once you found the words that you would like to use,
We're going to practice labeling our experience as it arises.
We may notice that our thinking mind comes in and we start thinking about our experience or wandering off in our thoughts.
And when you notice,
Just gently come back to labeling.
Once we've been able to label the experience,
We're going to move into the second step of life,
Which is to inquire.
So I want you to ask right now in a very direct and non-judgmental way,
What am I avoiding?
Repeat that question to yourself in your mind.
What am I avoiding?
And ask yourself,
What am I not wanting to feel right now?
And allow for whatever answer comes up and also trust the first words that come to mind.
What am I avoiding?
What am I not wanting to feel right now?
Maybe you're noticing that you're wanting to avoid feelings of overwhelm or loneliness or boredom.
Or maybe it's feelings of anxiety,
Terror,
Or even shame.
Whatever it is,
We're just going to identify the feeling that we're fighting against,
The feeling that we really don't want to feel right now.
And again,
There's no judgment.
There's no right or wrong.
Just noticing what's beneath this pattern.
What are we trying to get away from?
Now the third step,
Which I think is often the most difficult step,
Is to feel.
And by that I mean to really be with the physical sensations,
With the experiential intensity.
All of those seemingly intolerable feelings that you don't want to be feeling.
Whatever it is that you just identified through your inquiry,
We're going to feel that.
See if you can notice where that experience,
Those feelings or maybe even those beliefs,
That intensity,
Where is it living in your body?
So take a few moments to feel into it,
To locate it in the body,
To become familiar with what those sensations actually feel like.
So maybe you notice that it's tied to some sort of tension or constriction in the shoulders or neck.
Or maybe a physical collapse or pulling away or even bracing.
Or maybe it's just a lot of intense energy moving through your body in a way that feels overwhelming.
So just take a few moments to see if you can feel into it,
To be sort of curious and objectively notice what is the physical qualities of this experience.
Now the final step of life is to extend or expand.
So this means that we don't need to always feel every bit of our discomfort.
We don't need to force ourselves to stay with feelings that we don't quite know how to integrate or tolerate right now.
But what we can do is extend or expand our capacity to be with those feelings or sensations by slowly working our way up,
Slowly increasing our window of tolerance.
So maybe when I ask you to feel it,
Maybe you could just stay with it for a moment or even just an in-breath.
And that's okay.
But I wonder right now if you can stay with it for a full breath cycle.
See if you can stay with it.
And slowly inhaling in through the nose,
Filling the belly and slowly exhaling out again through the nose.
See if you can stay just for this breath,
For this moment.
Anything is possible for one breath.
And you may notice that you're having difficulty staying,
That your mind feels distracted or agitated,
Keeps wandering,
Or you feel really restless.
You want to get up and stop this meditation right now.
So see if you can tolerate staying a little longer,
But also if you need to take a pause,
You are more than welcome to take care of yourself.
We're not forcing ourselves to stay with anything,
We're just seeing if we can practice staying a little bit longer than we could before.
We can also return to the practice we did at the beginning of this meditation of noticing where we feel the tension or intensity and breathing into it,
Allowing the breath and the awareness combined to create more space and more softening around the tension,
And then slowly bringing it out with the breath.
So breathing into the intensity,
The tension or discomfort,
Imbuing it with our breath,
And on the exhale,
Allowing it to dissolve out.
See if we can do that for just three more breath cycles before we end.
Slowly breathing in to our lower belly,
Filling it with breath,
And then slowly exhaling.
And just one more breath cycle before we end.
This time really seeing if we can completely fill our belly with breath,
Fill our entire body as if we were a balloon about to pop.
And then hold it,
And now slowly exhale,
Squeezing out all of the breath as if that balloon were completely deflating.
And now finally just let go of the practice altogether.
When we are coming into contact with our craving or with our compulsion to act on an addictive pattern,
When we can tolerate the feelings tied to it,
When we can become a little more aware of what that addictive pattern is trying to prevent us from feeling,
Even protecting us from feeling,
Then we can start to be a little more free from it.
It doesn't mean we need to refrain or abstain from ever engaging in the behavior again,
But instead maybe we can have a gap between the impulse and the action.
And in that gap,
We can have a little more choice and a little more freedom for our lives.
If you would like more information on mindfulness and addiction or to read through the steps for life,
Check out my blog post titled,
Turning Toward Discomfort,
A Path Through Addiction.
