Metta And Gratitude Practice (Feb 15, 2023)

30 Minute Guided Mindfulness, Metta and Gratitude Practice. This practice references Open Awareness Practice. If you are unfamiliar with Open Awareness practice, feel free to listen to my dedicated recording on the topic.

Transcript

Welcome everyone. I'm Michael Morphis and really glad to be here with you today for our mindfulness meditation, Loving kindness, And gratitude practice. Let's just jump right into a open awareness sit. Position yourself in a way where you are striking a very nice balance between being clear, Sharp, Alert, Awake, And yet still pretty relaxed. So depending on your state of being right now, So if you were super anxious, Kind of jumping out of your skin, You could probably lie down. We just want to make sure that we're not going to get, We're not going to sleep, We're not going to fall asleep or start drifting. So whatever position is classically sitting is the place to go, But it doesn't have to be that. And then even more technically, And it's really any position, But lying down, Sitting, Standing, Or pacing, Or what the Buddha mentions in the ancient texts, But it's certainly any position that works for you. So again, Welcome. It's really, Really great to be here with you. And eyes can be opened or closed. I've been doing this thing more and more, Kind of making my breath more conscious and in making my breathing more conscious, It represents this whole shift for me where I'm reminding myself with conscious breathing, Oh, I'm looking to be aware, I'm looking to use mindfulness in order to help me be in tune with what I'm actually doing and saying and experiencing. It reminds me of my intention to keep moving in a direction that's strongly influenced by the Metta, By the loving kindness practice, By gratitude practice. And so the breath, A conscious breath becomes a symbol and a reminder to reconnect to all those things that are important to me. So, And if that's useful for you, By all means, Feel free to use that or if there's something else that, But the nice thing about the breath is that we're always breathing, Right? And we can't go without it. It's always here, No matter what's going on. We can always, It's always here for us. And as soon as we remember to kind of link it to that intention and to that state of being, It could be very helpful. So, We'll do a little, The Samatha practice, The calming peace generating practice where we get really curious, We investigate what the mind is knowing, And then we deliberately see how skillfully we can remain disentangled. So, If the mind is knowing sounds or sights or thoughts or emotions or tastes, We acknowledge whatever it is that the mind is knowing. And then we deliberately decide to, Instead of getting really caught up into thought about it, Say, Okay, And then make ourselves available to notice whatever comes up next. And in the beginning, It can be a very curious process where we start thinking about the fact that we're not thinking about stuff that we would usually think about. So, Thinking and emotions, I think, Really make up a huge chunk of our mental activity, But responding to what are coming in through what we call the five sense doorways also generates a lot of reactivity. So, In as relaxed a way as you can figure out how to be with whatever it is, Meaning that we can use the prefrontal cortex, The part of the mind that can make executive decisions to decide, I'm going to notice what the mind is knowing and not get too wrapped up into it. And we don't want to force it or strain in any way to make that happen, But it is a skill. And like any skill, There has to be intention and repetition and getting more and more familiar with what that feels like. So, Practice that. Acknowledge what the mind is knowing and practice not getting wrapped up into it. It can be so liberating to, While you're awake, Just not have to go into, Oh, Is this a good thought? Is this a bad thought? Is this a useful thought? Is this a crap thought? It doesn't matter. What the mind is knowing doesn't really matter as much as you knowing that the mind is knowing something. That's what we're really refining here, Is getting more familiar with the part of the mind that is simply able to watch and pay attention without getting entangled. That is nirvana. That is what's been called emptiness, The deathless, The unconditioned, Shanyata, Right? It's anorexia in the Greek mysticism, Zen, The flow. These are all words that represent having a relationship to what the mind is knowing, But having a way of not being mangled by it, Not getting enslaved by it. And while we want to be as relaxed about this as we can be, Find joy, Playfulness, Happiness in the practice, Let's make no mistake that the destructive and unhealthy habit patterns have a life of their own. And they are looking to perpetuate themselves, Just like a virus, Right? We don't even know what viruses are. They can't decide if they're alive or not, But they are self-replicating. They evolve from one form to another. And when they interact with a human or other animal species, It can really screw us up. Not all of them, But some of them can certainly really mess us up. Same with habit patterns and thought patterns. They evolve, They perpetuate, They almost have a life of their own. And so the skill of noticing and letting go is an extremely potent tool in our life toolbox to first notice if and when we are caught up into the type of reactivity that is not good for us, Good for other, Or good for both. And then kind of opens up the doors to possibilities of once we know what's going on to find healthier ways to behave, To react, To respond. And so this fundamental skill, Noticing and letting be, Noticing and letting go, Being more conscious, Being conscious that we are conscious, This is huge. It seems almost like inane to simply be noticing what the mind is knowing, But we are cultivating this skill set that is so important if we're going to have a fighting chance to liberate ourselves from the toxic magnetism of so many of these thought patterns and habit patterns. That's why people, They get sucked back in. We make progress and we backslide. We start a healthy habit. It doesn't stick. It takes a lot of repetition. It takes a lot of familiarity to change the habit patterns. They are changeable. We know now because of, I mean, There's a lot of anecdotal testimonies about people doing the work and making progress, But now we can see through the fMRIs and the brain scans and the neuroscience, We've learned about neuroplasticity, The way that we can work and really literally change the mapping of the brain and the nervous system. But it takes work and it takes patience. And that's why you need to relax and find joy in the process because otherwise it becomes another tedious slog and just so burdensome. So humor, We laugh at ourselves. So we fell back into that not so helpful habit pattern or the ridiculous thing that I do or that reaction that never seems to really help. And here I am again in a wise way. The wise part of the mind is the part of the mind that is super smart, Very, Very down to earth, Simple, And yet clear about what's going on and interested in finding out a way to make things better. What is the mind knowing? Can you have a simple, Clear perception of it without getting entangled? Is it a sound, A thought, An emotion, A sensation, A smell, A taste, Something that you're seeing? I've mentioned this before, But one of my favorite definitions of mindfulness is remembering to pay attention to our present moment's experience in this very special way. Remembering because it's so easy to forget. We're meditating. We have this healthy desire to do the work, Notice what the mind is knowing, Let it go, Et cetera. And then the next thing we know, We're thinking about lunch or what happened 20 years ago or what we're going to do next summer. This is super normal. It's completely the most normal thing to happen. And yet it's indicative of a lack of a certain degree of continuity and consistency in our ability to keep the mind in the moment consciously. And it's no reason to beat ourselves up. But as soon as we notice that that's happened, We're back in the practice. And that's really good. As soon as you remember, You're making another connection, Another connection in the brain like, Ah, Okay, This is a gap that occurred. And the intention is to keep closing those gaps between being on autopilot versus being aware and connected to our experience right here. And the reality is that while the brain was designed to plan for the future, And that's really good to be able to do that, And also to recall the past as stepping stones to hopefully not make the same mistakes we made before and to maybe remember some good times as well without clinging if possible. Right now, It's all happening right now in this moment. This is it. This is our big chance to flourish and to fuel or flourish and to feed ourselves the healthy diet of thoughts, Emotions, And deeds that will continue to pave the way to type of existence that we find to be healthy and desirable. So maintaining this quality of mindful awareness, Meaning that we are trying to remember to pay attention to our present moment's experience in this very specific way into the metta practice, Into the loving kindness and Brahmalvahara practice. So as I've been mentioning, We are seeing how much we can move from the intellectual to the lived to the emotional to the physical manifestation of these words that we're saying. Because again, It's fine to think about stuff. It's really important to think about stuff. And yet when we go to live life, It's about doing. And doing is saying and acting with our bodies and with our mouths. And this is really where these phrases, There's a saying in English where the rubber hits the road. It's kind of like if you design a car, It's all fine until you got to test drive it. And the engineers have to make sure that what they design actually works. And so that's what we do here at the loving kindness practice. We're kind of setting these ideas in motion. And the question is, Are they going to really work in the real world? And this formal sitting, When we get together, We talk about the Dharma, We consider it, We have our formal practice. This is the laboratory. This is the crucible. This is the environment in which we try on these ideas and work with them. But it's something that ideally we are taking off the mat, Off our cushion and bringing into our daily lives. And it's hard. It's so challenging a lot of the times to really feel caring for ourselves and for others. That's why the Buddha created this practice. He said he knew it was hard. But he also knew that if we do it, The rewards are tremendous. To have an opening heart, To have a mindset that is not adversarial and inclined towards conflict and suffering. And so it takes work. Again, There's so many habit patterns, Both personally and culturally, That are destructive and aggressive. And not to conflate. Like, Sometimes we have to be very, Very strong in our words and deeds. And doing a loving kindness practice doesn't mean that we become a doormat or a recipient of abusive behavior or anything like that. This is about caring and a really smart, Again, We're trying to align ourselves with the wise part of the mind. The super sharp, Clear, Not playing any games, Fully ready to accept reality part of the mind. Meditation is ideally all about the intense truths that we're living, Whatever they happen to be. So directing the loving kindness recitations to yourself and feeling into the degree to which it feels real and to which you feel inspired to make it real. May I be safe, Free from inner and outer harm and danger. May I be happy, Free from mental and emotional suffering. May I be healthy and have a good relationship to this body, This vehicle that I have. May I be content and live in the world without too many difficulties. May I know compassion, Empathetic joy, And equanimity. So again, In this mindful way, Meaning what's happening in the body, What's happening on the emotional heart level, What's happening on the intellectual level as these phrases, As these ideas are rolling around. And even though on one level, Body, Mind, And spirit are inseparable, Sometimes they feel like they're walls or barriers between the different facets of our being. And we can see this all the time, Like the body is craving something that we know is not healthy for it. So it's a little bit of a conflict. It's like the mind maybe knows that we shouldn't be eating something that's not so healthy for us, But we can feel it. We just want it on a deep, Deep level. So these are complicated situations and then we have to decide what's the thing to do. And there's no one simple right answer for everyone. We as conscious beings, Conscious adults, Have to keep on looking at each situation as it presents itself and doing our best to figure out, Well, What does it mean to either go with this thing or not go with it? So Aristotle or Socrates or one of these fellows said something like, The unexamined life is not worth living to pay attention and to cultivate caring. So the next layer of the loving kindness practice, And we've been kind of grouping all the other recipients of caring that are usually broken up into maybe five or six different groups into one group, Other. So to other, To the people or beings in our lives that we adore and care very easily about, Opening the heart to these people or beings is quite easy. All the way to the folks that are really, Really objectionable to us either now or at some point, Someone that we know or someone that we don't know just out there in the world that we think about them and it's just really makes us angry or hateful even. And the Buddha said that it's enlightened self-interest to care for everyone, To care for ourselves and to care for the ones that are closest to us and to care for the ones that we like the least and everybody in between and all beings to see how far we can expand the sphere of caring. And again, Not easy for many reasons. People have messed up. I personally like to subscribe to the idea that there are no bad people, They're just bad actions. And so try to give people the benefit of the doubt that in their own misguided way that they're doing the best that they can do to figure out how to get a little bit of happiness out of this life. And sometimes I have a hard time convincing myself of that in my personal life and then looking at the news and seeing the damage that some people do out there. But the more that I do the loving kindness practice, The more liberated I feel. I feel less angry at myself and others. So I think that without having to try to figure it all out, This is powerful medicine for the part of us that's been scared or wounded or damaged by our own actions or the actions of others. And so the Buddha created this beautiful contemplation and practice to help us to explore that. So to other, Again, From our most beloveds to people that we know, It's not quite so simple. It's more of a complex story to a neutral person to a slightly challenging person to a very challenging person to the most challenging person, The whole group of them. They're all living beings trying to find some happiness in the world, Trying to figure it out, Even though we may think that they are horrible or that their behavior is inexcusable. Let's see if we can let that go for this exercise of exercising the part of us that is capable of forgiving and caring. And again, Forgiving doesn't mean that we don't hold people accountable for their actions, But the quality of holding accountable. It's not hateful. It's about being strong in a heartful way. So to other, May you be safe, Free from inner and outer harm and danger. May you be happy, Free from mental and emotional suffering. May you be healthy and have a wise relationship to the body where you're genuinely interested in keeping it working as smoothly as you know how. May you be content, Live in the world without too many problems. May you know compassion, Sympathetic joy, Meaning you can actually be happy for other people that are happy without resentment, Jealousy, Or envy. And may you be content, May you know equanimity. So this is, At this point we're saying to other, It's like we're putting it out there. We're kind of hoping that other beings experience these states, These emotional states, These mind states, These physical states of well-being. But then there's another facet of it where we're kind of asking ourselves, How capable am I? How willing am I to help others flourish to experience these things? A lot of us, If it's easy enough, Sure, I'll help somebody out. But if it makes my life inconvenient or difficult, I may be less inclined. Or I know someone and they're my friend, I'll help them out. But if they're a stranger or an enemy, I may not be as interested. And the Buddha said that, Again, It's enlightened self-interest to figure out how much we can genuinely care for ourselves and for everyone deeply. Again, That doesn't mean mushy or unrealistic or foisting our opinions or philosophy on anybody else. There's no simple answers here, Right? Life is really complicated. But the idea and the lived experience of caring is always going to serve us, Just like mindfulness, The ability to know what the mind is knowing in the moment, Whether you're doing your formal sitting practice or interacting with your friends or family or at work or driving, To know what the mind is knowing is always going to serve you. To have an emotional relationship to caring, A conscious, Deliberate, Intentional relationship to caring will always serve you. When you're sitting by yourself, When you're in a group of 100 people, When you're with friends, When you're with enemies, It's always going to serve you. So, These are really potent life skills and experiences that keep on paying dividends. And then in the last few moments here, Our gratitude practice. Again, As much as a felt experience as we can have with this, Moving from the words and the ideas to it resonating deeply, Fully, Completely. And again, We can't fake that, Right? But we're exploring, And we're exploring something here. It's like, How real is this to me? Is it just a bunch of words or is there any actuality to it? So, Just simply ask yourself what are you grateful for and see what comes up. And then maybe initially a list of things that you feel like you know you should be grateful for. Maybe, And you can play with this where you can, Like our mind has this kind of zoom lens quality. We can go really small, We can go really big. So, It can just be really general, Like I'm grateful to be alive. I'm grateful to be able to breathe and to be able to stand up and to see and hear, Or it could be very specific. You have everything in your life that you ever dreamed of, And an amazing partner, And a great job, And plenty of money, And all these nice things. But we see and we know that there are a lot of folks that have the money, The status, The partner, And they're miserable, And life is complicated. The suggestion is if we practice gratitude, We can really simplify to a large degree what it takes in order to feel content. And we're not so hypnotized, Intrigued by things that are quote unquote supposed to make us happy and are able to experience true value, And to mindfully be aware that we're experiencing that. So, It's deeply nourishing to the soul, Deeply nourishing to the heart, Deeply nourishing to the body and the mind. So, What are you grateful for, And is there anything you can feel gratitude for? And see if you can really give yourself permission to be completely honest with yourself here, Because unless and until we tap into that deep feeling of gratitude, It's like when you start a campfire with minimal igniting equipment. You need to get a little, Little ember going, And then you add more and more on top of it. And so, Start small if you need to, And then add stuff on skillfully, And don't try to force it or fake it, But work at it if that's, And the suggestion is it is worth it. And if you're experiencing deep gratitude, Soak it in, Drink it up, Keep it very conscious and close to you all the time, If you can. And if it feels elusive and far away, And it's a tough time, That's unfortunately quite common, Quite normal, And a stepping stone, Or a calling to keep on asking yourself the question, What am I grateful for? Okay, Friends, On that note, Repeat this at the end of every session, But I think it bears repeating. These practices, Great to do in a formal setting, Completely portable, You can do them anytime and anywhere. So, Yeah, And one of my favorite teachers now, Tejaniya, He says, We should be practicing from the moment we wake up to the moment we go to sleep. And in order to do that, We need to do it in a very relaxed way, But in a very conscious way. And so, Again, Try to differentiate between noticing versus thinking about. When you're doing the first part of the practice, Samatha noticing, See if you can touch and let go, Right? Notice and let go, Notice and let be, Loving kindness anywhere, Anytime, Right? When we're in a pretty neutral situation, It's kind of nice to do, Just to kind of create a habit pattern of cultivating more caring for ourselves and others. But sometimes when our buttons get pushed, So you're driving and somebody cuts you off, Or you're in a situation where you're not feeling much loving kindness, If you can remind yourself, And at least be aware of your relationship to this idea of caring in that heartful way, That is considered to be a very skillful habit pattern to be cultivating and working on. And then gratitude as well. Anytime you can remember to check in with yourself and ask yourself, What am I grateful for? Because it seems like we humans have this almost, I don't know if it's cultural or like what it is, But a lot of us are very quickly looking for what's wrong and not looking for what's right. And so, And there's value to kind of looking out for the dangers and the things that we have to be careful of. But at the same time, There could be a dark side to that where we're not really in the habit pattern of appreciating and simply enjoying what there is to enjoy. Okay, Friends, That's all for today. Thank you for joining. And these are donation-based classes. Your donations really help out. So anything is really appreciated. And I hope the rest of your day is filled with peace and well-being. Be well. Take care.