Dear friends,
Welcome to Mohanji Speaks.
These are answers to questions from listeners.
Thank you for sending them.
Keep sending them.
I will try to answer them as best as I can.
This question comes from a listener who asks how to be totally unselfish.
So on the face of it,
For him or her,
People may think that they are quite unselfish,
But deep down you know that this isn't 100% true.
The heart cannot even feel 100% gratitude or 100% love.
So it's not total.
What can be done to correct this situation?
Nobody is unselfish.
We all are selfish in absolute sense.
But in daily life,
We can choose to be selfless.
That's our choice.
Why did I say that we are all selfish?
Only one main reason.
Because we are karmic beings.
What is karma?
Primarily,
Unfulfilled desires.
Unfulfilled desires means desires which seeks fulfillment.
That means it's selfish pleasures or selfish fulfillment,
Contentment,
Completion.
In that context,
All of us are selfish.
Right from childhood,
From birth till death,
We are pursuing completion of our own unfulfilled desires.
So when you look at this,
Every moment,
It's our satisfaction,
Our gratification,
Whatever the activity is.
It could be any kind of desire.
Minor,
Major,
Small,
Big,
Easy to fulfill,
Difficult to fulfill,
Any type of desire,
You name it.
But it's all for personal gratification.
Where is contentment inside us,
Where is satisfaction inside us,
Where is happiness inside us,
Where is joy,
Bliss,
Everything is inside us.
It's our satisfaction,
It's our gratification.
That means we are selfish.
Then there is this exaggerated version of selfishness that is connected to things outside of us.
Our need for things which are not ours by merit means we have desire but we do not often deserve it.
What comes to us is what we deserve,
Not all that we desire.
What we desire may happen at that time or may not happen as per our eligibility.
Sometimes what we desire happens immediately or sometimes in a space and time much later.
A desire,
If it is strong enough,
If it cannot be fulfilled,
Becomes a pending desire and that's the ingredient for further existence.
How can we change the selfishness which we display in the world outside?
We can change the way we look at the world.
We look at whatever is outside of us as outside.
Even if that thing comes in our life or not come in our life,
End of the day it's only about a certain set of experience regarding that object,
Regarding that person or in association with that person or situation.
Summing up our life,
It's a bundle of experiences of various levels,
Various times,
Various situations.
Experience is the essence of our existence.
When we realize or when our awareness grows beyond the selfish feelings of ownership and we understand that end of the day it's only experience.
Like for example,
You got to have a place to stay.
You need a place to stay.
Whether it's a rented house or it's your own house,
It really doesn't make a difference.
As long as you are comfortable,
You're okay.
A good place to stay is good enough.
But mind will definitely tell no,
No,
No,
But you don't own it so you should own it.
What if somebody asks you to leave?
Okay,
Those kind of things,
Yes.
But finally,
When it all boils down,
It's your experience of being in one place or having the shelter.
So this is the way we can look at everything of life.
You're hungry,
You have food.
What food comes is not important.
Did you like the food?
If the experience is good,
You should accept it.
Like that if you look at life,
Narrow it down to the necessity level in terms of experience,
Then you should be okay.
That takes you off the selfish attitude,
I must have it all.
I should have better than other people.
Then the competition,
The comparison,
All those things will not happen.
Provided you're happy,
You're contented.
That doesn't mean that you're lethargic.
That's not the point here.
It's not lethargy.
It's not that you do not do anything at all and think that everything will fall on your lap.
It won't happen that way.
But we need to work hard with full awareness,
Keeping the awareness intact.
We should be fully aware that we are only experiencing life here.
We're not owning anything.
We can't own anything permanently.
Awareness is the best antidote to tackle selfishness and compulsive acts of selflessness totally takes it away,
Eradicates it.
Thank you for listening to this podcast.
Do contemplate on it.
Do discuss with your friends and let me know what you feel.
If you have further questions,
Do send them to me.
Thank you.
This is Mohanji for you.
