Hello and thank you so much for joining me for this mind over endopain meditation.
Let's get you comfortable,
Lying down if you like.
And just gently close your eyes or keep an unfocused gaze in front of you,
Whichever you prefer.
And just allow your whole body to softly relax.
Starting from your head,
All the way down to your toes and feet.
And when you're ready and at your own pace,
We'll do a nice deep belly breath in through the nose,
Expanding the belly.
An extra quick inhale and a big sigh out,
Letting the belly fall.
Again,
Just a nice deep belly breath in through the nose,
Expanding the belly.
An extra quick inhale and a big sigh out,
Just letting the belly fall.
Last time,
Just a nice deep belly breath in through the nose,
Expanding the belly.
An extra quick inhale to fill all the way up.
And a big sigh out,
Just letting the belly fall.
And allowing the body to fully relax.
This meditation is being done by special request from another warrior.
And I'm honestly shocked I haven't thought to cover this topic,
So massive,
Massive apologies for the delay.
But today we're going to focus on believing our pain,
And everything we've endured.
Because lord knows that statistically most of us have dealt with some form of gaslighting,
Either from a doctor or doctors,
Bosses,
Friends,
Colleagues,
Parents,
Partners,
All of them.
It can pop up anywhere.
The invalidation,
The dismissal,
The quote unquote just push through or toughen up mentality.
We all have a story,
Or several stories,
Of this happening.
And I can't think of anything worse than being in the levels of pain that we experience,
And being told by people we love or trust or both,
That it's quote unquote normal.
First of all,
If you're new here,
It's not normal.
It's also not right that you're being told that it is.
This is deeply traumatic,
And can have grave consequences with how we perceive and manage our own pain.
If we're told often enough,
It's not that bad.
This can become a core belief that is so hard to shake.
Meaning many of us will just push through when we really,
Really shouldn't.
Or we'll just not believe ourselves.
Or we'll think that lower stages in the disease don't matter as much,
Or that because it's suspected that doesn't mean we're in as much pain as we are.
This isn't your fault at all.
If anything,
It's only increased your already horrible suffering.
And even though meditation can't necessarily undo all of the damage and harm you've endured,
Not only from the pain,
But from the subsequent invalidation and minimization,
We can still meet ourselves here.
And know that even if others don't believe us,
We believe us.
And that's all that matters.
So let's just meet ourselves here.
Keeping our deep belly breaths going.
And placing a hand on your heart.
I want you to bring to mind the version of you who first experienced gaslighting and invalidation of your symptoms.
We don't have to revisit the exact memory,
As that may be too painful.
But just simply imagine the version of you who experienced it that first time.
Standing right in front of you.
Picture everything about them.
What they're wearing,
How they're sitting.
And just take in this beautiful,
Vulnerable person in front of you.
For some,
This may be you as a child.
Since many of us first experienced gaslighting as extremely vulnerable children.
Who needed people to stand up for us.
But instead had to traverse these roads ourselves.
I want you to gently give this version of you a really,
Really big hug.
You can even gently hug yourself right now.
Rubbing your arms up.
And gently whisper to this younger version of you.
It's so,
So unfair what you've had to endure.
I see you.
And what you're going through is very real.
Sit with this version of yourself for a moment longer.
And tell them all the ways you've fought hard for the both of you.
For answers.
For relief.
And that even on our darkest days,
We know we are still so much bigger than this illness.
And the invalidation.
You might like to let this younger version of you hear something they may have never been told.
Which is,
You didn't imagine this.
You didn't exaggerate.
Your body was telling the truth.
Even when others couldn't hear it.
It's not in your head.
It's in your pelvis and body.
And with a deep breath in.
Let those words land wherever they need to.
And just stay here for a moment longer.
Feeling your body getting lighter.
And the self-assurance and validation flowing through your veins.
Allowing your body to soften.
And fully relax.
And we'll just gently arrive back to the room.
With a nice deep belly breath in through the nose.
An extra quick inhale.
A nice slow exhale out.
Last time,
A nice deep belly breath in through the nose.
An extra quick inhale.
And a nice slow exhale out.
We'll wiggle our fingers and toes.
Give ourselves a nice gentle stretch.
And slowly,
When you're ready,
You can open your eyes.
Remember that everything you've endured is very,
Very real.
Especially if you've been traumatized with denial,
Gaslighting,
Minimization,
Or dismissal.
In fact,
These moments of not being seen or heard can have even more devastating impacts on our pain.
Beyond what the endo itself is capable of.
If that's even imaginable.
Most importantly,
Don't forget that even if your endometriosis is quote-unquote suspected,
Undiagnosed,
Or described as stage 1.
Your pain is still so very,
Very real.
Pain is not measured by stages.
It is experienced in the body.
And your experience matters.
Be so gentle with yourself,
Warrior.
You've fought so many battles.
Don't let the mental one of believing your pain be another.
Trust yourself.
And lead the way for that younger version of you.
