Tap Into Your Gifts And Quantum Leap Your Life, Elyse Archer

In this episode, we’re having a conversation with the inspiring Elyse Archer, founder of Super Human Selling. This isn't your everyday chat; we're peeling back the layers to uncover the raw and real magic of embracing your authentic gifts. Forget chasing someone else's dream – it's all about shining in your unique light, and Elyse is here to show us how.

This isn't just about tapping into your gifts; it's a journey to living a life that's undeniably yours. If you're ready to unlock your potential and live out loud, this is your sign. Hit play, and let's get this transformation party started!

Trigger Warning: This practice includes mention/s of assault. Please proceed with caution.

Transcript

Hi,

I'm Michelle Chalfant,

Psychotherapist,

Holistic life coach,

And human,

Just like you,

Learning to navigate life's challenges.

With over 25 years experience,

I teach people how to get healthy using the adult chair model.

The adult chair model is where simple psychology meets grounded spirituality,

And it teaches us how to become healthy adults.

From anxiety and depression to codependency and relationship issues,

You can use the adult chair for just about anything.

Each week,

I share practical tips,

Tools,

And advice from myself and a wide range of experts on how to get unstuck,

How to live authentically,

And how to truly love yourself,

All while sitting in your adult chair.

Welcome to the adult chair podcast.

Hello,

Everybody,

And welcome to the adult chair podcast.

I am Michelle Chalfant.

Very happy to be here with you today.

Today is going to be a really exciting show.

When I ask you this question,

What comes up for you?

What are your gifts?

What are your unique qualities that only you have,

That you have brought into this world?

You know,

We are all born with unique gifts.

What are yours?

This is what's so fun.

So today,

I had on the show,

Elise Archer,

And this is what we got into.

What are your gifts?

She specializes in helping people to find out what their gifts are.

And then once you find out what they are,

She helps you to quantum leap your life.

So buckle in.

This was such a great show.

Elise Archer is the founder of the Super Human Selling and She Sells.

She's an author,

Three-time Salesforce Top Sales Influencer,

And thought leader whose insights have been featured in major media,

Including Forbes and Inc.

She's an international keynote speaker and host of She Sells Radio.

I'm telling you guys,

Get yourselves ready.

We had such a great show.

Get ready to quantum leap your life with Elise Archer.

Welcome to the Adult Chair Podcast,

Elise Archer.

Oh,

Thank you,

Michelle.

This is so fun.

This is like,

I get to talk to one of my favorite people on the planet and just have fun and talk about all the things.

So I can't wait.

It's good.

I know.

Me too.

I can't wait.

I was thinking about you,

Of course,

A little bit ago.

I talk about you often,

How fun it is to,

Because of the podcast and social media and the internet,

The world of the internet,

Now we get to connect with people that we might not have connected with if we didn't have the internet,

Right?

And you're one of those people.

I'm like,

From the minute I connected with you,

However long ago that was,

I was like a soul sister,

Like so fun.

So I'm so glad that we get to do this and you get to be on the show today and share all of your wisdom.

Cause you have a lot of wisdom.

Thank you.

Thank you.

This is,

This is such an honor.

I love you.

I love what you're all about.

I just,

It's such an honor.

So yeah.

Thank you.

It's going to be so good.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

All right.

So many,

So many directions that we could go today where I wanted to start was actually you have a really interesting story.

I'm not sure if I want to start there.

I want to wait.

So let's start out before we go to your story of how you got to become who you are today.

Let's just in general talk about,

Cause this is something you do talk about,

Which are your natural gifts.

So you believe that we all have a gift,

That we all have gifts,

Right?

We're born with natural gifts.

If someone's listening right now,

How do we know what our gift is?

How would we know what that is?

You know,

So many of us go through life thinking,

What do I have a passion?

I don't know who I am.

I don't think it's this.

How do we tap into that?

Oh my gosh.

I love that you asked this question.

And like I was sharing in the pre-chat,

It's like,

Of course,

Of course,

We're going to talk about gifts because you and I have realized how aligned we are.

And I've been thinking about this so much over the past several days,

Even in particular and in,

Um,

In the book you squared by Price Pritchett,

He talks about one of the steps to quantum leaping is to open your gifts,

To open your gifts.

And I,

Um,

You know,

We'll talk,

We can talk a little more about my backstory in a minute,

But I went through a long period of my life where I was stuck and I was stagnant.

No matter how hard I worked,

I couldn't achieve the results I was looking to accomplish.

And now looking back at that time in my life,

I can see how I was so disconnected from who I really am.

I was so disconnected from what my gifts are.

And my whole focus was on how quote unquote successful,

Can I be in business?

How much money can I make how,

You know,

When I was in,

I was in corporate sales and as an entrepreneur,

So even in corporate sales,

How can I be and stay top of the leaderboard?

It had nothing to do with natural gifts.

And in fact,

When I think about my energy and my relationship towards myself,

I probably exploited myself more than anything because I'd so disconnect.

And this is something that's interesting to talk about because I don't think I've talked about this a lot,

At least not publicly,

But I was so disconnected from like my true gifts,

The things that are God-given innate when we come onto this planet.

So I would look to again,

Like corporate environment,

It's,

It was competitive,

It was cutthroat sales.

Like,

How can I have a quote unquote competitive advantage?

Well,

As a woman,

I would dress a certain way.

Like I literally,

I look back on me 15 years ago and I'm like,

I,

I exploited myself.

And it's like,

It's almost,

You know,

There's some level of,

I would say sadness around that now as I look back,

But I would dress a certain way to get attention,

To try to like stand out.

And it had nothing to do,

Like,

It got me to a certain level in my career.

It got doors open.

It got attention that frankly,

Wasn't the type of attention I wanted,

But it was all I knew about how to stand out.

And it was,

I was leveraging those parts of myself that weren't really my gifts.

It was all surface level.

So I can look back now and have a lot of compassion for that woman who was so disconnected from her gifts,

But I can also see how staying in that cycle and not knowing what my true gifts and talents were that were more than just surface level,

How it kept me stuck.

And so I've been on a journey for the past,

I don't know,

10 years or so,

I think to really get back in tune with who I am at my core,

Like beyond the surface level.

And a lot of that has,

I give credit to great mentors and teachers who have helped me rediscover like the truth of who I am beneath the surface level.

And so for someone listening,

Who's realizing,

I haven't stopped to think about what my real gifts are,

Who I really am at my core for a long time.

I say that first,

Just to say like,

I've been there,

I've been on that journey.

And I think when we learn to tap into our true gifts and talents,

That's when those doors unlock that otherwise felt locked,

That felt shut,

That felt like we were always striving and working so hard to get a result,

But it wasn't happening.

So one of the exercises that I had a really wonderful mentor in my life walk me through is something called your five dream lives.

And I think this is a Kathy Heller original,

It's not who I was working with at the time,

I think it was her original exercise though,

So I want to give her credit.

And the idea is you look back at,

You kind of,

It's like if you had amnesia and you forget who you are and you think,

If I could create any five dream lives for myself,

No consequences or limitations,

What would they be?

And you may,

When you ask yourself that question,

Your mind will go a lot of different places.

For me,

It went back to some things that I wanted to do in childhood that I had dismissed or said,

Well,

That's not practical.

Or once I got into the business world as a working adult,

I said,

You know,

That's just,

That's for someone else,

Not for me.

So it can be things that you loved in childhood.

It can be things that you see other people doing where you may feel jealousy,

You may feel envy,

You may feel regret.

Like,

Oh,

If I only had started sooner,

If basically anything that someone else is doing that triggers that emotional response in you,

Right?

Because we have to remember if you spot it,

You got it.

So you see someone else doing something.

Yeah.

Then that means by very nature,

You actually have the ability to do it yourself.

You have the capability to do it yourself as well.

We just forget that a lot of times.

But so play some music,

Light a candle and journal on if I could have any five dream lives,

What would they be?

And as you start to write those out,

And when I did this,

I did this when I was at a place in my life where I was still feeling stuck,

But I was,

I was open to there has to be more,

You know,

There has to be,

There has to be more fulfillment.

There has to be more purpose behind what I'm doing than just making money.

And when I really,

When I stopped thinking about the money and instead just focus on what would those dream lives be,

I had for myself,

Things come up like being a world famous singer.

And I had sang growing up,

I sang growing up and I loved it.

But I had stopped singing publicly after I was sexually assaulted in college.

And so it was like,

I had dropped that gift.

It was a long story behind that,

But I'd kind of let that go to the wayside.

And then I had things show up like run a media company or be a global philanthropist.

And my mentor,

When I tapped into those helped me get to like the essence of what those things were that I was wanting to do.

And there were things like creativity and there were things like beauty.

I had wanted to be a makeup artist for years growing up.

And again,

I'd gotten so caught up in just how can I succeed in corporate?

How can I make more money that I was in such a masculine energy with everything I'd completely put to the wayside.

What I had used to love to do,

Which was get a bunch of girlfriends together in college before we went out and I didn't do everyone's makeup in the bathroom,

But she helped me tap into these are your gifts,

Like the gift of voice,

The gift of communication,

The gift of creating beauty in things.

And how can you start to leverage those and weave those in with what you're already doing as well as how can you start to use those as your green lights to direct where you're going next?

And so I started doing things like getting way out of my comfort zone and singing on social media,

Which felt massively uncomfortable,

But it was more of a reclamation of that gift and saying,

I'm not going to give this away to someone else.

I'm going to reclaim this for myself.

And then thinking about how can I lean into some of the God given gifts like communication,

Like speaking and own those,

Realizing that there's a lot of stuff I'm not good at,

And I'm fine with that.

Like I always tell people,

If you want to lose at a game of trivia,

Bring me along as your person.

If you want to have a terrible time at a basketball game or a sporting game,

Bring me along because I'll have no idea what's going on.

Not my gifts.

I'm okay with that,

Right?

I think we all have uniqueness inside of us that we're meant to bring forth into the world and we're not meant to be great at everything.

That's not how it works,

But we all have our inherent gifts that we're given.

And so,

So I started playing with that.

Like,

How can I bring more beauty into my marketing,

More beauty into my business?

How can I be more creative?

And so I say all of that just as a little personal example to say that if someone does that exercise,

Those five dream lives,

You'll start to get into some real truth about who you are,

What you really care about,

What you're good at.

And it doesn't mean you've got to throw everything out the window and go pursue one of those.

Although you could,

You absolutely could.

But if you don't feel guided to do that,

How can you tap into the essence of what those dream lives are and infuse what you're doing now with more of those gifts and that energy?

And from that place,

You will really experience some shifts in your life and career because suddenly you're coming at everything from a place of purpose and passion rather than grind.

Right?

So that's,

Those are a few thoughts and how to tap into your gifts.

I love this because I think so many people get,

They hold the belief that,

Well,

What,

What am I here to do?

Am I here to be,

Let's just say,

For example,

A school teacher,

A CEO,

A stay at home mother,

A fill in the blank,

Right?

It's a job title.

And what I'm hearing you say is that it's not about the title,

Right?

It's about the qualities of your humanness that you're bringing to the table and then creating something from those qualities.

So you,

Let's say you said creativity in your voice,

I mean that you could have done numerous things,

Right?

I think about someone that's creative and I keep saying,

I was just sharing this with my husband a month or so ago.

I said,

Wow,

I never thought of cooking and really preparing a meal being so creative.

And I said,

I love to create in this way.

I love to find a recipe and I love to put it together and serve it.

That to me is,

And I thought,

Gosh,

I'm creating something from five ingredients,

Putting it together in a certain way.

And then what do you know?

You've got a main meal.

So I love this and for people then to tap into those things,

You could be creative,

Designing a garden or decorating a room or the way you lay furniture out and whatever it might be.

So this,

Or you,

Or you could be an artist or a painter or a singer or a whatever.

Beautiful.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah.

And it's,

I love that you're asking this and I think there must be a need for more people to tap into this right now globally.

I'm thinking about it.

You're asking about it.

I know we're not the only ones.

And even just,

Gosh,

A week ago I was out speaking at a mastermind from one of my clients in California and it was a group of B2B tech sales professionals.

And we were talking about,

We were talking about quantum leaping.

We were talking about some of what you and I love to talk about.

And what was so resonant to me was how in that conversation there,

It's like this audience of like 50 beautiful souls.

And how many of them,

When we talked about the full essence of who you are and tapping into that,

They were like,

I have no idea.

Right.

And one woman said,

Because they were just so caught up in their work.

And one woman,

She said,

You know,

You're talking about this.

And she was like,

If I could do anything,

I would paint right now.

But I hadn't even thought about that part of myself in so long.

And part of me was like,

Wow,

Like I understood that moment where you realize how much you've forgotten who you are because you've gotten so caught up in trying to achieve that you forgot the real gifts.

So part of me was like sad for just,

Oh,

I know that moment of realizing,

Wow,

How much have I denied who I really am for a long time in my life?

But then also excited for her as we looked at,

Well,

You can start painting right now.

It doesn't mean you got to quit your corporate job,

But how can you bring this into what you're doing now?

So I think sometimes we look at things,

We say,

Again,

It's not practical,

It's not this,

It's not that.

But I tell you what,

Tapping into that creativity,

Tapping into those gifts,

Whatever they are,

When you can take them and apply them to what you're doing professionally,

If it's different,

You're going to have an impact at work,

You're going to have an impact in your money,

You're going to have an impact in career because you're bringing more of you into it as well.

So I think it's really important,

Not just from a fulfillment standpoint,

But also like you're going to be more successful when you do it too.

So it's a win-win.

The other thing I noticed,

I love that story about what you said about this,

The woman that you were speaking with.

What I find is that,

And I want your opinion on this,

There's a guilt in almost claiming these things.

You know,

When we get compliments,

Of course,

On,

I have a friend who's like phenomenal at cooking,

But now that's not her full-time job.

But when we go over there for dinner and I'll say,

Oh my God,

This is amazing.

Oh,

It's no big deal.

You know,

We want to brush it off,

Right?

So it almost feels,

And I don't know if guilt's the right word,

But there's this,

I can't claim that for myself.

But we spend,

We have no problem pointing out all of our blemishes,

All of our issues,

All the things we're not doing.

So there's that sense of even being curious about what is my thing and then owning it.

That is part of who I am.

And that's not an arrogant thing,

Right?

No.

Arrogance and insecurity are like two sides of the same coin,

Right?

So I think,

And I'd love to hear your thoughts on this too.

I would say for me,

I used,

Because I was so caught up in my human and because I was so caught up in the Elise identity and insecurities around that,

I did have a hard time receiving.

And I did think if someone gave me a compliment,

Like I would,

It would just feel so personal and kind of like hands up and a lot of people struggle with that,

Right?

Challenges receiving.

I think the consciousness that I'm at about it right now,

And I'm always looking to grow and evolve this as well,

But my level of consciousness around it right now is all of these gifts are gifts through grace.

And I see myself as a channel.

So like for anything I create,

It's a channel.

Like again,

Whatever language someone uses,

God,

Source,

Universe,

Spirit,

I want to be a channel for that to flow through because the energy,

The inherent energy behind God,

Universe,

Source,

Spirit is love,

Beauty,

Creation,

Abundance,

Prosperity.

So I think the more that we can open up to co-creating with that and realizing that it's the power of that energy flowing through us,

Then the more it's like we can kind of witness it and say,

Wow,

Thank you.

Right.

Let me embody this.

Let me be a channel for this gift to flow through knowing that because we're all connected,

Right.

And we're one part of a collective that it's meant to flow through and serve my part in the larger tapestry.

So we kind of get out of our own way and we let that gift flow through us.

And then we get to have joy and witnessing it and experiencing it,

But we're not ego attached to it.

Does that,

That's,

Those are my thoughts.

I'd love to hear what you think.

And cause I know receiving can be a challenge for people when we're not thinking about it that way.

Yeah.

No,

I,

I,

I really agree with everything you just said.

And I think that,

Um,

We all have this ability to channel,

Right.

But we have to pause,

Get curious and allow that beautiful energy to come streaming down through us.

I can't tell you the number of times where I've been on not only a stage,

But even on zoom,

Like with the membership and different things.

And my team would be like,

That was really good.

What you said.

I'm like,

I'm not even sure what I just said.

Can you remind me?

Did you record that?

Cause I think it was really good.

Cause I'm like,

Wow.

That's when we,

Again,

My terminology might be something like soul alignment or we're really connected tapping as Abraham X would say tapped in tune tuned in,

Turned on,

You know,

By source.

Like we are so,

Uh,

Neutral mind open that up like a,

Our beautiful vessel opens and that energy comes streaming down through.

Wow.

Watch out.

Right.

Yeah.

I mean,

That's,

That's what I did on this mini sabbatical that I took for three months.

I think I talked with you a little bit about it before,

But yeah,

It was getting quiet and listening and,

And opening up to listening.

What is coming through?

What is this for me?

So I would invite anybody on this planet can do this.

This is not a special,

There's no gift in being able to listen.

Like you just have to pause.

And I think as humans,

We get,

We do get so caught up in our busyness.

We can't do that.

We don't do that well,

But it's about being very intentional with creating space in our day to make time in order to listen,

To receive this beautiful wisdom coming down through.

It's right there.

You have to go out there.

It's right here.

Yes,

That's exactly it.

That's exactly it.

It takes trust.

It takes faith.

It takes willing to get uncomfortable.

I'm sure there were moments for you on the sabbatical where you felt uncomfortable,

Right?

Where it was like,

Should all the shoulds,

Right?

Should be posting,

Should be doing this,

Should be,

I don't,

Did you have any of those?

Are you kidding?

You know,

I did,

You know,

You there,

There were absolute moments where I was brought to my knees.

And let me tell you something,

At least I would not take any of it back.

I loved what I went through.

Every single part of it,

Sitting in the emotions that were scary,

Sitting in the emotions that were blissful.

And you know what it did is the more you can sit with yourself and listen and get quiet and sit with all those emotions that are coming through,

The more we stay connected to ourselves throughout the whole day.

And the more we are opening up that vessel,

That's channeling down the information and it's the more connected we are to self,

To soul,

To God,

To source,

To universe,

To spirit,

Whatever the heck you want to call it.

I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I loved every single part of what I went through and I can't wait to share more about it,

But it was incredible.

I mean,

Tell us a little bit about your experience and how you got here.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah.

Well,

When you're talking about the sabbatical and just listening to yourself,

You know,

I think about there was a time in my life where I was so disconnected from who I really was.

And I felt like I'd gotten so far off track that I couldn't sit with my own thoughts.

It was too painful.

And this was just about 10 years ago,

10,

11 years ago.

And I had kind of built the life and the career that I thought I was supposed to,

To be successful.

So,

You know,

Top of the leaderboard in corporate sales and marketing,

Had a nice house,

Had a nice car,

Was married,

All the things and,

You know,

Had active social life again,

Like presenting on the outside,

Like I had everything and I'd created the dream life.

Well,

We all know where this story goes.

It was a,

It was a facade,

So everything,

Everything,

I shouldn't say everything,

But a lot of my life was out of alignment.

So I was presenting outwardly,

Like I had it all figured out,

Had again,

I'd done the things I thought I was supposed to do to be successful and happy and fulfilled inside.

However,

Was struggling deeply with anxiety,

A lot of anxiety,

Panic attacks,

Eating disorder,

The marriage that I was in,

Although of course we were a match because I attracted him,

Was very unhealthy and he was struggling with a lot of stuff on,

You know,

Himself.

And I was really,

Like I said,

In misalignment and I reached a point,

It was right before my 28th birthday.

So 28 has always been a special number for me.

I was born on the 28th.

I see it's like my number.

I see 28s everywhere.

And I said,

I am not willing to go into this one 28th year that I get,

At least in this go around in this lifetime,

Living a life that is so painful on the inside,

Even though I'm not telling anyone.

And so I made a lot of scary,

Bold feeling moves at the time.

And I left the marriage.

I was petrified about what the judgment that I'd get.

I'd only been married 14 months,

You know,

Really nervous about the judgment,

Being divorced in my twenties.

I left the corporate job.

There was a lot of stuff going on within that company that was not great.

And I,

I just,

I was like,

I'm going to go out on my own.

I'm going to do coaching.

I had one client who'd paid me 300 bucks.

I was like,

It's proof of concept.

I can make money outside of corporate.

I'm out.

I wanted to go into sales coaching.

So I did that and I started this radical self-transformation process,

But part of what really spawned it was,

Like I said earlier at that time in my life,

I,

I couldn't sit with the voice in my head that was telling me that everything was so off.

So that was actually how I discovered podcasts because I needed something to listen to,

To distract me.

So I did,

I stumbled into personal development that way.

I grew up in a very analytical,

Intellectually accomplished family,

And it was very like book smarts,

Achievement,

Academics focused.

There really wasn't a whole lot of personal development.

So I,

This whole world was kind of new to me,

But I,

I started the life transformation process and had again,

A really good run of transforming a lot of my life.

I met my,

My now husband and partner,

Jason,

Who's the dad of our two babies.

I met him six months to the day.

I made that decision to leave on the 28th,

Of course,

April 28th,

Two days ago was our 10 year anniversary of meeting was not planning on meeting anyone that soon,

But it was universe had better timing,

You know,

Got a lot of things in my life back in order and,

And kind of started this process of self-discovery of who am I really,

And what are my gifts?

And I'll say the one thing,

Well,

Let me pause because I I'm happy to talk about quantum leaping money and kind of that getting past a lot of money,

Limiting beliefs and burdens,

But let me just,

Before I go any further,

Is there anything that you want me to elaborate on from what I shared there?

I loved what you said.

Maybe a tiny bit on the part about you had to get uncomfortable.

And I think as humans,

Right?

Do you find this in working with your own clients?

We don't want to get uncomfortable.

We're afraid to get uncomfortable.

What if I leave like you had to leave that had to chose to let me read,

Let me say that correctly.

I'm going to make a choice for myself.

That's freaking scary.

That's terrifying.

That's going to bring me to my knees,

But you walk through that fire.

I mean,

You,

We walk through,

This is an initiation.

I mean,

This is what we are here to do to not always.

And I,

And I preach this,

Get out of your comfort zone in order to expand the comfort zone.

You have to get uncomfortable.

Yes.

Amen.

Amen.

Sounds like this.

You got to get uncomfortable to be out here.

It's like we want to stretch and we are,

We want to start looking at the things that feel right in our heart,

Right?

What might feel right to our heart is terrifying us up here in the head though,

Right?

Let your heart guide you and pull you toward that next thing.

And it might mean you got to walk through fire.

There's a big initiation that's going to happen,

But it's the best thing.

So you just gave a classic example of that.

So thank you.

Oh my gosh.

Yes.

Yes.

I heard,

I think it was Kate Northrup I heard say this the other day that the brain will choose a familiar hell over an unfamiliar heaven every single time.

And I was like,

Yup,

Like that's the comfort zone,

Right?

Even if it,

Even if it sucks,

Even if we're you know,

We're in anxiety or fear or depression every day,

At least we know we can survive in it.

So the brain will want us to stay there.

So you're absolutely right.

And for me,

It was kind of just reaching this point where I was like,

I don't know what's on the other side of leaving all of this behind,

But I'm so fed up with being where I am.

And it is actually so painful.

I could recognize that it is so painful where I am,

That I'm willing to take the risk to go see what's on the other side.

It's like the Joseph Campbell quote,

The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.

It's always the case.

But to your point,

What I love that you said,

Michelle,

Is it's the initiation,

Which we can't avoid,

Which we get to go through.

And there have been,

Yeah,

We get to go through,

Not have to,

We get to,

Yeah,

Exactly.

I have been through many initiations in the past 10 years.

Many of them in the past just few years that have felt like walking through fire and the person you become in it is the real gift.

Like that is the action.

Talk about opening up your gifts.

It's the person you become when you go through those initiations.

Yeah.

Beautiful.

Yeah.

Absolutely.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Yeah.

So continue on with your story.

I want to get some money talk too.

I want to get some money.

Yeah.

Well,

I love talking about this and,

You know,

My business is,

I say sales is the Trojan horse.

So we do sales coaching and people come to,

You know,

They come to our programs or they come to the podcast and I can't wait to have you on the podcast too.

So for everyone listening,

Listen for Michelle's interview on She Sells Radio,

Because we'll be doing that soon too,

But they'll come to the podcast and they'll say,

Oh,

I thought it was going to be about sales.

It's actually about everything else.

But what I,

What I have found is that we think to grow our sales that it's like,

We,

Okay,

Give me a better script.

Give me a better funnel.

I just need to be a better closer.

According to neuroscience,

The actual strategic method that we use is two to 5% of what impacts our results.

And so when I look back on that period,

So even if I,

After I like left all this stuff that was misaligned and went out and was on a personal development journey and running my coaching business and I was doing well,

Like doing well,

Making low six figures,

You know,

Finally in a relationship with a partner where things felt really good in many ways I had,

I had grown and expanded in my life.

But no matter what I did financially,

I couldn't break past that low six figure Mark.

And so,

And I was like doing all the right things and investing tens of thousands of dollars in mentoring and working on the strategic tactical,

Building out different funnels,

Doing different things.

But I always made the same amount of money every single year.

And the numbers kind of irrelevant here,

Except I will share numbers so people can have context of what happens when you implement some of the shifts we're about to talk about.

For me,

The life that I desired to live was more expansive than what the money that was coming in would accommodate.

I'll say it that way.

So for some people listening like,

Man,

Six figures would be great.

Like,

Yes,

It can be for a lot of people.

And I think for a lot of people,

That's the first step we want to get to.

For me,

That had been the first step I wanted to get to.

But then I,

As I had grown,

My desire for what I wanted in my life had grown and I wanted to do things like be able to retire my husband from his night shift,

Respiratory therapist job so he could pursue his dream of medical school or give more generously or live in a better home,

You know,

Go on nicer trips,

All the things,

Right.

I don't think there's any right or wrong to it.

So I had a bigger vision for my life,

But no matter what I did,

I was always stuck.

And I also experienced consistent fear,

Anxiety about money,

About it leaving.

I was a good seller,

Like I could sell.

And I did well at that both in corporate and as an entrepreneur,

But I always felt uncomfortable with it.

I would get nervous on sales calls.

I would get really attached to whether someone bought from me or not.

And this was,

This was,

Oh my gosh,

It was three and a half,

Four years ago.

Like our oldest son,

Jack,

Had just been born and he was four months old.

And I was late night nursing him.

And you know,

When you're late night nursing,

You've got two choices.

You can either like doom scroll or you can read a book or I guess you just sit in the silence,

But I chose to read.

And I was reading Ronnie Ware's top five regrets of the dying,

Which I know you're familiar with.

We've talked about that in your community before.

And if someone's listening and they haven't read that book,

Ronnie was a hospice care worker and she sat with people on their deathbed and she chronicled that there were five most common regrets that people shared from their deathbeds.

And the number one regret was I wish I had had the courage to live a life that was more true to me rather than what everyone else expected of me.

And I remember reading that.

And when I was reading that and those late nights and the room was dark and there's just a little dim light on to try to keep Jack relatively sleepy while I was feeding him,

It struck me how much I was still hiding in my life.

So I'd like gotten out of some really intense,

Tumultuous stuff for my twenties.

I'd done a lot of the work and life was good.

Like life was good,

But there was such a bigger vision that I had for my life,

For my impact,

For my business.

And if I was being honest,

I was hiding behind other people.

I was hiding,

Not taking advantage of opportunities,

Not like playing full out in my life.

I was still stuck in this old money pattern of no matter how hard I work,

I'm still in anxiety and fear and I can't make more.

And I just made a commitment in those dark hours of,

You know,

Dark midnight hours that I'm ready to stop playing small and I'm ready to experience the fullness of who I am.

So this ties back in with the gifts,

Right?

That we talked about earlier.

I realized how much I've been hiding and not playing into my gifts too.

And so,

You know,

In those moments,

In that moment,

Like nothing crazy happened,

But shortly thereafter,

I heard a podcast ad from a woman who mentored moms to become millionaires.

And I was like,

I'm a mom.

I recognize I've been playing small,

I'm ready to be a millionaire.

And she just happens to say,

Oh,

I've got a spot right now for a private coaching client.

I'm like,

Okay,

Universe,

I'll bite.

I get on the discovery call.

It's yes,

Yes,

Yes,

Yes,

Yes.

And then I find out that the investment to work with her for six months of private coaching is $50,

000.

And I don't care how much someone is making right now.

If you're listening,

I want you to imagine whatever you made last year,

Take half of that.

And you now have,

Like you were talking about before,

Michelle,

A soul aligned desire,

Something you know you need to do,

But it's going to take half of what you made last year and you weren't saving it.

But there was something in my soul that knew I had to find a way to do it,

To get so out of my comfort zone and to literally have to look at every limiting belief that I've been hiding behind about who I am,

What I'm capable of,

What money is like for me,

How it works in my life.

And so I found a way to scrap together a deposit and put it on a credit card,

Petrified,

You know,

What am I doing?

I was the breadwinner of my family.

I thought I was going to put us in financial jeopardy.

Of course it brought up every limiting fear I'd ever had about money,

Went into a,

You know,

Three weeks of intense like fear and shame and,

Oh my gosh,

What have I done?

But I think because I put myself in such a pressure cooker of having to look at all the limiting beliefs about who I am,

What I'm capable of,

About money,

Right?

And I had to really examine them and do the work and do the subconscious rewiring in six weeks of making that decision to change.

I 10X'd my income and I was able to turn my annual income into my monthly income.

It was wild how fast it happened.

It didn't seem like it should be possible and it wasn't from working harder.

This was the crazy thing.

Again,

I've been stuck for 10 years working so hard to keep making the same amount of money.

It was how I learned to think differently and it was releasing the limiting beliefs about money and learning how to raise my financial set point.

And suddenly it was like I was attracting money and clients left and right.

But what I'll say is that that came after I transformed.

That came after I examined and saw all the limiting beliefs I've been holding onto about money and how it works for me and what I was capable of and did the work to release those.

And I did it in a real pressure cooker.

So I think that's part of why it happened so fast.

But all of that to say when that happened,

I was like,

What in the world?

How do we reverse engineer this?

And how do I reverse engineer this so that I can help other people have their own version of a quantum leap?

And so I dissected it and we came up with a methodology that we call the four quadrants of quantum sales growth.

And one of them is money and shifting your relationship with money.

I'll just share one of the things that we teach about money is your level of income will never exceed your level of self-worth.

So your level of income will never exceed your level of self-worth.

So when I look back for that long period in my life where I wanted to make more,

I had a vision for more,

But I wasn't doing it no matter how hard I tried.

I didn't realize this at the time,

But I didn't feel worthy of having more.

And when I thought about seven figures versus six and what it would be like to be there,

There was felt like there was a gap and I didn't feel worthy of that.

And it was actually in the inner work of closing that gap and realizing my inherent worthiness,

Regardless of how much money I'm making,

That then suddenly I started attracting money at a much higher level because I no longer felt like I didn't deserve it.

I no longer felt distant from it.

I no longer felt separate from it.

But I think it was actually recognizing my own inherent divinity.

And I think that's the work for all of us.

And that's why I love the work that you do that's so spiritual and so powerful because we know this,

Right?

The outer is always just a mirror of the inner.

And I think a lot of people sell or run their businesses from a place of lack or not enoughness.

And when we can do the work to find our own inherent divinity and wholeness,

And that comes from unlocking those gifts and remembering who you are and wanting to experience the fullness of who you are,

Not like who you think you should be to make other people happy,

Then the money will rearrange to mirror who you are.

The sales will rearrange,

The business will rearrange,

All the things will rearrange.

But it's a concept I teach called selling from wholeness,

Which is we already feel good enough.

We feel whole,

Nothing to do with the money in the bank,

But then the money will shift to match that.

So there's 800,

000 more things we could talk about with that,

I'm sure,

But please you take it from wherever you want to go.

I love this topic.

No,

I absolutely love this.

It's an inside job.

I know what that's like to think,

I've got to work harder.

I've got to work smarter.

I've got to do this.

No,

You don't.

You got to do the inner work.

It goes back to the inner work.

It's an inside job.

I love what you said.

Your level of income will never exceed,

What'd you say,

Your self-worth,

Your level of self-worth.

That's a mic drop.

That's beautiful.

So it is about turning inward and looking at that self-worth.

I love this because it's,

Yes,

We're talking about money and what a triggering word that is for people,

Right?

So when that trigger happens,

And trust me,

I've worked with people for over 20 years on all kinds of issues.

Money comes up so much of the time.

It always goes back to,

Again,

What would you learn growing up?

Look at what you were told by your parents,

By the people that raised you.

Take a look at those things.

What did you learn about money?

It's like we all want it,

Or so many of us want more because we think it'll bring happiness,

But that's not going to bring your happiness.

The self-worth brings the balance.

That's what makes you,

I don't even like the word happy.

I've never liked the word happy.

I like the word peace.

Happy to me is spiky.

It's like,

Oh,

I got a new car,

A new outfit,

Ooh,

And then we're back down.

But talk to me about,

I have a couple of questions for you before we jump off here.

How do you follow an idea that will help you,

Let's say someone's listening,

Again,

It doesn't matter to me what you're doing,

Whether it be you're staying at home with your children or you're a CEO or somewhere in between.

How can you tell if someone's idea that's coming in,

Is it coming from ego or is it coming from soul?

How do you know where it's coming from?

I know.

Sorry to ask this at the end.

Good.

I love this.

These are deep questions.

So this is like,

If you have an idea and you're trying to figure out,

Is my idea coming from ego or soul?

Yeah.

Like,

How do I know if I should follow it?

How do I know?

How do I know like,

Oh,

That's something I got to go for.

That feels really good.

Totally.

Well,

One thing I'll say is I don't,

I personally don't want to totally bash the ego.

So I,

My personal take on it is we,

You know,

We are spiritual beings having a human experience and our ego is here to help us kind of navigate the world,

Right.

And have that human incarnation of source energy.

So to me,

The way that I look at,

When I have an idea come through an inspiration and it's like,

Whether it comes from release,

Ego or soul,

What I look at more is what's the emotional state that I was in when I received it.

Right.

So you talked before about Abraham Hicks,

We're like very aligned in that,

Right?

So the receiving mode,

What was the emotional state I was in when that idea came through?

Was I on the upper half of the emotional scale?

Was I calm?

Was I peaceful?

Was I open?

Was I contented?

Was I joyful?

Blissful?

The idea comes through from that energy to me,

I'm following it.

However,

We all have times where we're not in that energy and we have ideas like I should go,

You know,

Stop doing my business.

I should,

I should take all the money out of the bank and just run and go live.

I don't know.

Live secluded on a mountain somewhere.

If that idea comes through in an enlightened state,

I'd say maybe follow it.

But if it comes through when you're in a state of self doubt,

Insecurity,

Fear,

We don't want to listen to it.

It's like the hardest time,

But we don't want to take action on our thoughts from that place because that is not soul inspired.

That is not going to get you,

That's not your best and highest truth in those moments.

So in those moments,

It's more about,

All right,

I know that mine's going to tell me a million things right now that aren't good,

Aren't right with my life.

Things I should change,

Things I should stop,

Things I should quit.

And instead,

Because I recognize that I'm in a lower emotional state right now,

My only focus is going to be on how can I get back to a place of peace?

How can I,

How can I shift my emotional state?

And then from that place,

I'll be able to think more consciously and have more elevated thoughts about this.

You're tuned in,

Tapped on,

Tapped in,

Tuned on,

You know what I'm saying?

Listen,

Listen to the ideas that come through from there and follow those.

Those to me are truth.

Those are your calling.

Yeah.

Love that.

Thank you.

What about if,

And this is the last question,

What if I have an idea and I go,

Yeah,

I really would like to do X,

Fill in the blank,

Whatever X is,

But my will won't line up.

I feel stuck.

So what if I'm soul inspired,

But I've got blocks?

What if my,

I can't generate will to get me going,

To move me forward?

What do you,

How do you in like two minutes answer that question?

Yeah,

Absolutely.

Well,

There's,

There's clearly some limiting beliefs to release around that.

Right.

And I think,

I mean,

Sometimes people will say,

Okay,

I'm just going to take mechanical action towards it.

And that's going to move the energy.

I think that can move some energy,

Right?

Just do it anyway.

You're saying like,

No,

I'm not,

I'm saying,

So I would,

I would reserve that for last resort.

Right.

I think sometimes when we so understand the mindset piece,

We can almost get caught up in inaction.

Like,

Oh,

I will only take action if I can like completely clear all the blocks.

And then from that place I'll move.

And I think if you can do that and do that relatively quickly and move forward,

Like that's beautiful.

And I think I would always start with the inner work and looking at,

Okay,

What story am I telling myself about this?

That's creating the resistance.

What am I making this mean about me?

What am I telling myself about it?

That's causing the block.

Okay.

How can I shift and rearrange that and release that I would always say,

Lead with that.

Sometimes if we are procrastinating in that worker,

We're using it as almost like an excuse to just let me just stay stuck in the processing.

We can move some energy through taking action.

Like let me show up and do my workout for example.

And I'm usually like,

Once I start,

I want to keep going like that type of thing.

I do think that that's more of a matter on matter approach to it,

But I would say first start with what am I telling myself about this?

That's creating the block and the action.

Okay.

Let me see if I can release and shift that.

And then from that place of clarity and from that place of free energy,

I'll move and take action.

You're always going to get your best results on that.

If you're trying that and try it and you're like,

It's a longer process.

Just getting into action around it can help.

But I would say always,

If you can aligned action is going to be far more powerful than like push force action for sure.

Yeah.

That's great.

Cause I hear that from people like,

Oh,

I just can't,

I just,

I can't get my will to generate.

I can't,

I feel stuck.

I feel like I'm in quicksand.

I don't know how to move forward.

I'm stuck,

But I really want to do the thing.

I want to get the job.

I want to do that.

I did my resume or whatever it is.

I can't get myself to move.

Can't get myself.

Yeah.

And look at like,

What is the fear?

Right?

Because anytime we're up,

Every time we're expanding the comfort zone or we're up leveling,

We're creating your,

Like you said before,

You're creating discomfort.

So there's going to be a gap and,

And fear is going to live in that gap,

Right?

So it's kind of,

I've heard the analogy of like climbing a mountain.

You're going from this part of the mountain to this part of the mountain.

Well,

When you're going from where you are now to up here,

There's a gap and that gap is going to feel like fear,

But if we can just examine it and see what story we're telling ourselves about it and say,

Is this like,

Is this actually true?

And it never is.

Never.

Right?

Then we can create,

Well,

What would I need to believe and what story would I need to tell myself now to be able to move forward more powerfully?

So just know if you're experiencing fear or stuckness,

Or I can't get myself to move forward on it,

That means you're right on the cusp of greatness.

That means you're right on the edge of what you're meant to do.

And your job is to follow that,

Right?

And we,

We look at the fear,

We,

We welcome it.

We don't make it wrong,

But we do recognize that it's not our truth in that moment.

So then we want to move the energy around that and tell ourselves a different story.

That's going to get us to where we want to go.

So even Pressfield says that,

Um,

And when you feel resistance,

It's,

It's absolutely me.

It means you're heading in the right direction.

Yes.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah.

And it's like,

Man,

It doesn't feel good in the moment,

But it's so true.

It's so true.

It does not feel good in the moment.

So.

Yep.

All right.

My darling.

This was amazing.

Thank you.

I know I could keep,

I have so much more we could sit and talk about.

We got to end here.

So,

Um,

Thank you so much.

Reviews

Loved this episode and it was super timely for me!!! Thank you 🙏 🫶