We are going to continue on with this station me idea,
This kind of analogy that we're using of this broadcast that is continuously or seems like it's continuously blaring in our heads.
This broadcast about me,
What's happening to me,
Interpreting our experience,
Narrating our experience,
Judging our experience.
And it seems as though this started happening,
Broadcast started happening for all of us at a very young age.
So probably sometime around two or three years old we're We're one moment we're playing on the playground and everything's good and we're perfectly happy and And we're picking sides for the dodgeball team,
And we're like,
Yay,
Pick me,
Pick me,
Pick me.
And then one day.
It all of a sudden changes.
And it's like,
Oh.
I hope they pick me.
What if they don't pick me?
Where was I picked last time?
What does this mean?
About me.
And so all of a sudden,
One moment,
We're having a great time.
Life's exciting.
It's an adventure.
And then we start interpreting and evaluating and anticipating everything being about me.
And really,
As we do that,
As we get older and this starts to become louder and louder,
The broadcast taking up more and more time.
What's diminishing.
Is our sense of curiosity.
Or sense of wonder.
Of interest,
Of the mystery.
Of what it is that's happening.
And I think we can,
In some ways,
Kind of use the analogy of it's like 24-7 cable news.
There's this breaking news event,
Even though it's usually not very much breaking news,
But there's some breaking news event.
Then there's this reporting about it.
But then after the reporting,
They've still got another 23 and 1 1⁄2 hours to fill.
So they replay it over and over,
And then they bring in experts.
Let's analyze it.
What does this mean for the senator?
Is their career over?
Can they come back from this?
And then an hour later,
Let's bring in this panel of experts,
And let's review this.
And what does this mean?
What's going to happen to this person?
And so it's very much the same with Station Me.
In that There's not a lot of breaking news.
And yet,
We do need a lot of content for this station.
And so fortunately,
Station Me is very good.
At making anything that's happening.
Even when it has nothing to do with me.
We can make it.
About me.
So when I'm walking into a store,
I'm in a store,
And I'm trying to get the shop assistant's attention.
I'm at the counter.
And I can see they know I'm here and they're clearly ignoring me.
Breaking news.
I'm being snubbed.
Right,
Or where.
.
.
We're in a meeting and we've just gotten done talking and someone sighs.
Breaking news!
Was that about me?
Or someone responds back to a text,
Right?
We send them a text,
I'll see you later,
We'll meet at this restaurant,
This is,
You know,
Can't wait to see you.
And they just send back two letters.
Okay.
Breaking news,
Something must be wrong.
So we can make.
One seeming breaking news story,
One seeming event.
And we can make a whole afternoon.
Of content out of this,
Right?
We replay it hour after hour.
We bring in the experts.
Let's analyze it.
What does this mean?
What do you think she meant when she just responded,
OK?
There wasn't even an exclamation point.
Doesn't sound like she's very excited.
Let's go back and review last week's conversation with this person.
Is there any clue that we could possibly get for why this happened?
And on and on it goes,
Replaying this over and over.
If it was the content.
That was really so stimulating,
So fascinating,
So interesting.
Then of course we would be just as interested.
By what's playing in your station as is playing in my station.
But clearly we're not.
Because if our friend comes over and tells us how.
The shop assistant ignored them.
And while,
Of course,
We would listen,
They're our friend.
And at first,
We'd be like,
Oh,
Wow,
That was really.
Yeah,
That was unpleasant.
Yeah,
That was really.
She wasn't a good employee,
Whatever,
We'd give it a few minutes of entertainment.
But if they keep going on about it,
And what do you think this means?
Because I was in the store before and she was really nice to me.
And then what do you think this means about,
Was it that I was wearing?
What do you think this means?
And they'd keep going on and on about it.
I mean,
Eventually we would say,
My God,
Let it go.
It probably had nothing to do.
With you.
So when it's someone else's station.
We're very reasonable,
We're very rational,
We're very objective.
We can see very clearly,
Like,
Wow,
There's all these other possibilities.
But when is our station?
It's very different.
Because it's also a felt experience,
Right?
There's a contraction in the body,
There's a tightness in the chest,
There's a sinking feeling in the belly.
And so an iristation me it's not just the voice it's the felt experience in the body that's giving They're seemingly giving this evidence to station me.
That this is really happening.
And that there is a me that is threatened at the center of experience.
And so when I'm listening to my friend tell me about their problem.
I can hear it.
But I don't have the same somatic.
Experience.
I could have had the same content playing a couple days ago and been stressed for hours,
But without that somatic experience,
It doesn't have,
It doesn't get as tendrils in,
As tight,
It doesn't feel as real.
And so because of that,
We're able to look and see other possibilities.
They were probably really busy.
OK was probably the fastest thing she could text back.
The person,
The shop assistant was probably really having a bad day.
Something was going on.
It wasn't about you.
Right?
The person that signed,
It had nothing to do.
With you,
We can see all these other possibilities because you're station me to me.
Is a single channel.
It's flat,
It's mono.
My Station Me.
It's surround sound,
It's Dolby,
Right?
It's got feelings and emotions and memories and it's got stress hormones and it's got a heightened nervous system and it's got all these old wounds that are being picked over.
It's so immersive.
It feels so real.
That it's not just that we are listening.
To station me.
We believe that we are inside.
The Broadcast.
And so it's from this view that we keep making the same mistakes over and over again.
And we keep saying,
Why do I end up down this rabbit hole?
Why do I keep falling down?
Why do these things keep happening to me?
Because we are trying to solve the problem.
As the problem.
As the me at the center of experience that we think this is happening to,
That we think station me is reporting back to.
So all of this thinking All of this thinking about what's going to happen to me,
And I need to solve this problem,
And I need to get out of this situation,
And they shouldn't have said this to me,
All of this thinking is not fixing.
The problem.
It's reinforcing the problem.
It's reinforcing.
The belief that there is a me at the center of experience that has a problem.
And yet none of what we are thinking about is actually happening.
Right when i'm thinking about the text that was unanswered yesterday not happening now then i'm embarrassed that i did something stupid 10 years ago it's not happening now the being snubbed by the barista.
It's not happening now.
And yet.
.
.
It feels as though there is a me that is really suffering.
Because of what it is that happened.
And so each time that we solve the problem,
Each time that we We finally get the unanswered text.
We get the misunderstanding is cleared up.
Oh,
I'm so sorry.
I was in a meeting.
I could just type OK.
Sorry I couldn't say more,
Right?
Or the conversation that we were playing over and over in our heads,
Like,
Oh,
It went so much better,
So much better than I thought.
And there's such a sense of relief.
Oh my,
Phew,
Thank goodness.
Thank goodness.
Right?
It's over.
Until the next broadcast comes along.
And with it,
You know,
There's this breaking news and now there's this new problem.
And there's a me that we believe.
Is at the center of this experience that is suffering.
Because of this problem.
So if we think about like when we have a difficult person in our lives and for whatever reason we just don't get along with this person,
They rub us the wrong way,
They're not our cup of tea.
We can spend hours thinking about this person when they are nowhere near us.
Who is this for?
We know we don't like them.
We know that going over all of their what we're perceiving as their bad qualities is not making us feel better.
And yet we can't pull our attention away from it because we think that somehow.
We're actually solving a problem here.
And then,
Inevitably,
Something changes.
The person is no longer in our lives.
Maybe they changed jobs,
Or we changed jobs,
Or they moved away.
Something happened.
No longer seeing this person in our lives and again huge sigh of relief oh thank goodness thank goodness i don't have to deal with this problem anymore problem solved Until the next difficult person.
Until the next unanswered text.
Until the next greeting that wasn't quite as enthusiastic as I thought it should be.
And so nothing changes.
We haven't solved anything because you can't solve the problem.
As the problem.
Believing there is a me at the center of experience that is having this problem.
And whatever problem it is that's being perceived is not happening now.
But what is happening now?
Is a lot of sensory experience,
A lot of contraction in the body,
A lot of tightness and pressure and,
You know,
Kind of a sinking feeling in our abdomen,
Right?
That is what's happening now.
And when we bring our mindfulness practice so mindfulness so that we're directly experiencing what's happening we're feeling what it is that's happening so we're we're here with what's happening And maybe we start with a couple of mindful breaths.
Just to kind of start to center us here right maybe we use a little bit of self-compassion a little self-kind talk oh sweetheart that hurt oh sweetheart this is this is this sucks oh sweetheart just one breath just one breath even just talking ourselves through it like using kind self-talk just to help us to come into directly experiencing what it is that's here without fighting it without pushing it away But then we can also then have a little bit more curiosity.
About what is actually happening.
Right?
Like,
Where am I feeling these sensations in the body?
Where is this felt?
Is it more in the chest or the abdomen,
Shoulders,
My neck,
The back of my head?
And as your attention starts to go into the actual physical sensations more deeply with more of a sense of curiosity and exploring it,
Right?
We've talked about this numerous times that we can look at the shape of it,
We can look at the texture.
Is it sharp?
Is it dull?
Is it long?
Is it short?
And as we really,
Kind of really looking into it,
What we find is that it starts to soften.
Things start to become a little bit more spacious.
And there may still be some unpleasant sensations,
Sure,
Particularly if it was a really triggering event,
Something that we've gone over numerous times in the past,
It's really picking at an old wound,
Then yeah,
There's probably still some discomfort in the body.
And we have to be very careful here,
Because here's where Station Me will come right back in and say,
Oh,
Look,
See,
You still don't feel good.
Let's go back and start thinking about this again.
Right,
Because it's idea.
Of fixing the problem is changing experience right and so it doesn't want to be with what's directly happening and so we do have to be really careful about this that it will um it will hijack our spiritual practices in a way that we are still not solving or sorry in a way that we are still solving the problem as the problem so just being careful about that when there's still some unpleasant sensations in the body when you're here with what's here you and not with the commentary on top of it.
It's unpleasant.
It doesn't feel great.
There's not this sense of feeling like we're being threatened there's no longer this little oh me at the center and in fact what's happened is we we've tended to remove all of the surround sound at this point right there's more of a just a uh it's unpleasant we don't feel as threatened any longer we're much more um we're much more able to see more clearly at this point what it is that's happening right oh yeah they were just a little busy oh yeah you know this happens all the time a book just got a little lost in it no problem no beating ourselves up for it no judging like oh yeah we can we can see that but we don't want to stop there.
Right?
Because if we stay just there.
There's still a belief that there was a little solid me at the center of experience and now it's just gone away for a little bit right so we don't want to just stay here this is i've said this again and again We've got to go beyond mindfulness.
And this is where self-inquiry comes in.
Where we're We're asking the question.
We're putting the spotlight on the me that we think is at the center of experience.
The me that we think,
This station me,
This voice that's going on all the time,
Right?
We never know what thought's going to come next.
We never know what it's going to be broadcasting,
But it's going on all the time.
And the belief that there is a me that this is all reporting back to that is actually just reinforcing the sense that there is actually a me there,
This is simply an illusion A trick.
That has gone unquestioned?
And so we believe,
No,
There was a me at the center of experience.
And I do find when we marry self-inquiry with mindfulness,
We can like recognizing that sometimes it's just a little Just got a little ahead of ourselves.
We just kind of,
Oh,
It's just a little judgment.
It wasn't anything too intense.
And we can ask in that moment.
You know,
To whom does that thought belong?
Who is it that's being judged?
Right?
Who is it that's regretting?
Right that in that way we can ask that question but if it's something super intense right and we're really down the rabbit hole this is where we want to use mindfulness right to get those feelings to a place where at least we're not so contracted we're not so tight we're not it's not you know the it's not the body isn't giving this evidence to the station me that it's real it's enough of an opening enough of a spaciousness that we can then come to the point to ask the question To whom do these feelings belong?
To whom does this hurt?
Belong.
Who is regretting this?
Because what you find in that moment,
When you look for it,
Because we're thinking that there is a center to our experience.
This is the illusion.
This is the trick.
Because the voice just is always going,
Always going,
As though it's reporting back to something.
Right about what's happening to that something and reinforcing that something that me that's at the center of experience that me that character that we believe to be at the center of experience But what we're saying is there actually,
This is just an illusion.
So you ask the questions you look and what you find.
Is not a center.
Sensations arising and changing,
Sure.
Thoughts feelings emotions arising and changing sure no problem yep sounds seen all arising and changing nothing for me to do no effort nothing i'm putting into this it's just all happening And what you find is there is nothing at the center of experience.
Maybe a few unpleasant sensations.
But there's no longer a me at the center that feels threatened.
It's like the illusion.
We see the magician then tells us how they did the trick.
And we see,
Oh,
There was actually nothing there at the center of experience,
A solid,
Independent me at the center of experience.
And so we can hear Station Me.
It's still going to continue on.
Right?
It may not be as loud.
It'll give you a little bit more of a break in between.
But it'll every now and then,
Oh,
There's a breaking news story.
Right?
There's some drama.
There's something about me that needs our attention.
But you just don't give it as much of your attention because there's a recognizing this is what it does.
Everything is breaking news about me.
This is what it does.
It's always going to care what other people think about me.
It's always going to have that first moment of comparing to someone else,
Right?
It's going to have that first moment of,
Oh,
And the discomfort and change the experience,
Right?
It's like it's always going to be blaring.
This is what it does.
But it's not me,
Because I don't know what these thoughts are going to be.
I don't know what it's going to broadcast.
How can I claim ownership of it?
It's just coming.
Right and it's just kind of doing its thing because you've seen and and it's not that you see this once it's not like just pulling back the curtain because you've been told again and again there's a big scary dog behind that door.
And then one day you open the door and you go,
Oh my God,
There isn't.
But this whole time I thought there was.
Right so it's it's a continuous doing this right this practice it's like It's like somehow,
Just even through this Dharma talk,
Something is hearing,
Not the separate self,
By the way,
Not the problem,
But something is hearing.
That the the problem is you know what we are perceiving as the problem is the problem and we can follow these breadcrumbs using mindfulness using self-compassion using self-inquiry to keep seeing that there is no one nothing solid at the center of experience here And we just keep,
You know,
Then,
You know,
So if you get caught up in the broadcast,
No problem.
No judgment.
Happens.
Happens to all of us.
Yep.
But as you keep following the right breadcrumbs,
And coming to this realization,
This recognition or this seeing,
There is nothing solid and independent there.
The broadcast loses its.
.
.
It's pull.
You just,
You don't as fooled by it anymore.
And what happens,
It's almost like it takes us back to that playground.
When the broadcast started getting high and the curiosity and the wonder and the awe and the mystery of the world started going down.
But now the broadcast,
You know,
Again,
It can still be going,
But it's just kind of in the background there.
And the interest and the wonder and the mystery and the awe.
Is there,
Not because it was something to get.
But because we were no longer distracted.
By the belief that there is a me at the center of experience that has an endless amount of problems.
One gets solved and another one comes in its place.
So in seeing this.
We have a lot less problems.
We go through life a lot easier because it's not all about me,
In fact.
It's never about me.
It's never about me.
And so life is able to be lived.
Here now what's happening not through this constant interpretation and narrating and anticipating and judging right not through that lens that distorts but the lens gets dropped and we can actually and then it reveals what it is that's here the mystery that that never left All that left is we got caught up in an illusion.
Because of the broadcast kept pointing to it and we never questioned it.
So now we question it.
That you can't solve the problem as the problem.
That's just reinforcing it,
And you will always have an endless supply of problems.
But it's not just enough to come in and feel and be with it either.
It's to keep seeing there actually is not a solid independent me at the center of that experience.
That broadcast is not reporting to anyone.
It's just doing its thing.
And you lose interest in it.
It's no longer so captivating.
And so life goes on.
But with a lot less problems.
Thanks for watching!
